It Could Happen To You

My girlfriend just showed me this video and it moved me enough to post it here. Albeit I am well aware there are different views regarding this subject not only on this website but as a whole, I still wanted to share it on ATS with people I consider friends and who have made an impact in my life in the little over two years I have been a member on ATS (even if it is only in a virtual environment). As well, I felt compelled to share this in order to discuss and share comments, views, and opinions on this story.

Coincidentally enough, I was shown this video on the heels of Obama announcing that he supports same sex marriage. I too am a supporter and feel that if two sound minded individuals love one another, have established a life together, and want to legally join in matrimony then they should be granted the right to do so.

That said, this is a 10+ minute video, following the video I will add additional components to the story behind the video that I was personally curious about after viewing, but I invite you to discuss and add to the thread and respectfully request that anyone that does so please be sure civility and decorum are maintained, thank you.


Youtube Video Description:

Published on May 6, 2012 by shanebitneycrone
It has been said that sharing personal stories is one of the most effective ways to change people's hearts and minds. This is my story and I hope you are inspired to share it with others.

To be honest, As I was watching I immediately went to the negative and assumed that Tom had committed suicide despite Shane stating that Tom "fell" from the building. I thought, "well if he was so happy, why would he kill himself over what his family thought when he seemingly had already divorced (per se) himself from his family that were (according to Shane) very vehemently critical of Tom's sexual orientation once he came out". This was my line of thinking as the video kind of (imo) left it easy for me to speculate on my own accord, however my speculations were admittedly incorrect.

After doing some searching I found that suicide wasn't the case at all, and ashamedly I jumped to that conclusion too quickly. Tom was a professional photographer that was working a model shoot on that particular building top and according to the information below, fell accidentally while working. Here is a WikiPedia page about Thomas Bridegroom (Tom).

Thomas Bridgeroom's story became widely known to the public in May 2012, a year after his death, when his partner, fellow actor Shane Bitney Crone, released a widely viewed YouTube clip titled "It Could Happen to You," in which he told his and his lover's story in order to speak out in favor of rights for same-sex couples.[2]

Bridegroom, a native of Knox, Indiana, had been in a relationship with Crone for six years before his death. While Crone's family was loving and accepting of his sexual orientation, Bridegroom's disclosure of his homosexuality to his parents went badly and resulted in threats of physical violence against him.

Tom passed away on May 7, 2011, following a fall from a rooftop during a photo session. His mother flew out to his and Shane's home in Los Angeles to retrieve Tom's body, even though Tom had not thought of Indiana as his home. Shane cooperated when Bridegroom's mother asked him about her son's bank accounts and to go through his possessions, but while on his way to Indiana to attend his partner's funeral, he received a phone call from Bridegroom's family telling him he was not welcome at the funeral and threatening him with physical violence if he showed up. Shane was not mentioned in Tom's obituary or in the memorial program at all. In addition to the cold, unwelcoming reception from Bridgeroom's biological family, Shane had not been allowed visiting rights in the hospital and was not legally recognized as Tom's lover or family.

In his video, Shane wrote, "Whatever your sexual orientation, I plead with you to take the necessary steps to protect yourself and the ones you love."

Shane Crone is utilizing the power of social media to get his message out. He has a Facebook, Twitter page, and Youtube page dedicated to spreading his message, they can be found here (I am not registered to Facebook or Twitter but I was able to view the main pages on both):

Facebook - EqualLoveEqualRights
Twitter - @ShaneBitney
Youtube - shanebitneycrone's channel

I would be remiss if I didn't say that some of the comments posted on the sites above are appalling. This, for me, simply boils down to someone, that lost someone they built a life with, loved, that their world revolved around, and because of legalities, were completely alienated from everything they had with that person once they passed. Which is horrible on so many levels imo.

I am a heterosexual male in a heterosexual relationship. I am completely in love with my girlfriend however it would be our choice to get married. Until we do however, the same legalities would apply if the situation was mirrored. Despite our devotion to one another, the life we've built, the future we've planned, it would all be null and void if the situation was mirrored.

Personally I support him and anyone that is or will ever be faced with the same detriment. The following is one of the many messages I personally choose to take away from this story. Shane includes a very informative section on his Facebook page to help one be aware of the legalities and rights involving the relationship one is in, note the description includes "EVERY PERSON".

You will also find links to websites that provide information regarding the legal forms EVERY PERSON should have, as well as how to fill them out on your own. Don't let tricky legalese or lack of funds prevent you from filling out these forms--you do not need an attorney to protect you and/or your loved ones.

EqualLoveEqualRights - About

Thank you for reading.

Not sure if I posted this at the most opportune time last night so I am giving this thread an opportunistic bump on the Recent Posts page. Call me sensitive, but I do feel this guy is spreading a good message.

I watched the entire video and this touched my heart deeply.

Clearly, they were in love and its absurd for one to pass and the other so easily cut out of the picture because he had no legal status.

The law is suppose to protect people.

I think he was brave to make this video and share with the world just how heartbroken he was.

Personally I'm for same sex marriage. I'm a libertarian so I don't get off on being a moral busybody and I believe everybody has the right to pursue their own definition of happiness as long as it doesn't pick my pocket or break my leg.

However, I don't fully understand why it matters to anyone, gay or straight, to have the State recognize their relationship. If you are in love, you are in love, end of story. How does government acknowledging the relationship change that? Is the tax break and certificate on the wall really that important?

What I'm trying to convey here is that government should relinquish certifying marriage all together. I do not believe it should have its long nose poked into the private consensual relationships between people. All I see as a motivation of state sanctioned marriage is a web of supports, subsidies, interventions and control.

But as long as there are government incentives and tax breaks and certificates, then I understand and support gay people's motivation to acquire the same.

reply to post by SearchLightsInc


I agree, maybe one day Tom's family will come around and allow Shane the due closure he deserves.

reply to post by METACOMET


I believe that the couple in the OP would have already tied the knot were it not for the legalities involving their sexual orientation negating that ability. However they can have a business and mortgage together. The laws are a bit skewed, more the system I suppose, but it seems things are slowly coming around. Still a lot of work yet to be done, on more than one level unfortunately...even though it's the year 2012