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The Difference Between man and woman :

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posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 05:38 AM
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No more to be said...

[Edited on 19-4-2003 by Nans DESMICHELS]




posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 05:40 AM
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posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 06:45 PM
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posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 06:51 PM
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that "woman box" must of been edited. most women i know require many many more buttons and knobs than that.



posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 07:17 PM
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LMAO!!



posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 07:19 PM
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Good one Nans!
!



posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 10:42 PM
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LoL, that's a good one



posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 10:51 PM
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From here...

stuffucanuse.com...

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud:

''Do you realise that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?''

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: "I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . ...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . .Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it - - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not changing gear right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's late spring, and this thing is changing like a damn rubbish truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centred, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their.... ..

Roger, Elaine says aloud.

What? says Roger, startled.

''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . . Oh God,

I feel so .... .'' (She breaks down, sobbing.)

''What?'' says Roger.

''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''

''There's no horse?'' says Roger.

''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.

''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

''Yes,'' he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.

''What way?'' says Roger.

''That way about time,'' says Elaine.

''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.

''Thank you,'' says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of chips, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of.

A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing tennis one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: ''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?'



posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 10:57 PM
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woman need to just go with the flow!!!
and don't get caught up on the details...


INSTRUCTION MANUALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Edited on 03/17/2003 by phoenix_cross]

*editted by Alien...sorry...just removing a few of the !!!!'s, they kinda freak with the page*

[Edited on 20-4-2003 by alien]



posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 11:27 PM
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ummm...PC: that's like tellin a man not to scatch himself. and if you guys listened more you wouldn't need a manual...we tell you everything
you just not listenin.



posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 11:36 PM
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the problem is yall say too much. flash cards help
so does promises of beer or sports. hell don't even promise, just mention football, bball, and some nachos at the end, and you'll get any guys attention for at least ten minutes
then be creative...



posted on Apr, 19 2003 @ 11:50 PM
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...come on now, we guys TRY to listen...its just that you women insist on talking to us whenever theres a Rugby game on TV...pick your moments when we're more likely to attentive...

...these are NOT good times to attempt to enter deep conversations with the average male:

- while shaving...razor cuts make us squeal like a little girl...so please don't distract us...

- while 'on the John'...we can't talk even if we wanted to...that would necessitate opening our mouths and you gotta KNOW we be holding our breath in there...

- while having breakfast...simple really, don't come between a man and his food...it can get very 'Planet of the Apes' in a hurry...

- while driving...hell, we won't even stop and ask for directions when we're lost...what makes you think we're gonna listen to you prattling on...

- while watching ANY sport...just...just NO okay!

- while sleeping...now, I know thats how SOME of you ladies get the PIN numbers for our bank cards...so please don't do that...we need that money for important emergencies like picking up a 6-pack of beers for the Rugby Game on TV that evening...


...so there you have it...a brief list of the times whenever it is not adviseable to attempt to engage us males in conversation...when we are sleeping, when we are eating, when we are watching Sports, when we are on the John, when we are driving...

...seeing as how that pretty much covers the greater majority of the average males time, I'd say you were screwed...




posted on Apr, 20 2003 @ 08:24 PM
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thats gold nans pure gold



posted on Apr, 20 2003 @ 08:28 PM
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Did you know that on that machine, for women, there are 256,794,000,090,000,000,000,000,779,000.8993 different combinations for self-destruct? (Which means "cry, pout, break things, assult your boyfrind, cry, screm, throw things, go tri-polar, cry, yell at little kids, kick puppies, cry, cry more, and blame in on a MAN!")



posted on Apr, 21 2003 @ 07:21 AM
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Yeah...right!

Sometimes no means yes, othertimes no means no, but yes means no, or sometimes yes means yes.

Go away sometimes means come here and talk to me, etc.

You ask impossible questions (i.e. questions that no matter what the answer, we're in trouble) Example: Do I look fat in this?

Guys on the other hand, are simple...

Food, Sex, Sleep, TV, and not neccesarily in that order, and we're a happy camper...


When we say yes, we mean maybe, when we say no, we mean no.



posted on Apr, 21 2003 @ 04:04 PM
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G, nothing is true of all men just like nothing is true of all women. but depending on the type of woman you are with it may be easy to talk yourself into a hole. you should take the time to get to know her mood swings and that takes listening which you guys choose not to do. a simple nod or yes dear don't cut it. then when you hear something that catches your attention its too late and she's already p-o'd.

"do i look fat in this?"

i don't ask those questions...mainly because i'm not that self-conscious about my body. still, some women do it just so they know their man is diggin what they have on that day. a simple--damn girl, yo body is slammin (or some variation of that)--stragetically placed every once in a while will keep her content enough not to worry about what you think of her looks.

class dismissed.



posted on Apr, 21 2003 @ 04:36 PM
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hahahaha, great!!



posted on Apr, 21 2003 @ 06:03 PM
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Advice to guys:

Women look at guys like dogs, always have, always will (I am sure it has something to do with the fact that guys usually act like dogs).

However, let that work to your advantage.

Whenever you get the lady mad, cultivate the poor sad puppy look... most women find it irresistable, and will soon forgive you regardless of how badly you screwed up.



posted on Apr, 22 2003 @ 07:49 AM
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"get to know her mood swings "

Oh, I have...it's what allows me to ride them out. My fiance' and I have very very few fights, and they usually follow the same flow...a flow I've gotten pretty used to. However, during the course of this "flow", the things I mentioned happen, so it's why I said that women aren't clear in their communications. I understand her now, pretty well...but I've seen friends who haven't gotten it yet, in their relationships...and it's usually one of the things I mentioned....



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