A Guide to Slap Bangery

Slap Bang (Verb)
The process of using short-cuts and tricks to complete some type of work quickly: "I need to slap bang this project together"

Slap Bangery (Noun)
An art form where in practitioners learn to complete work in the minimal time possible: "I am the master of slap bangery!"

Remember back at school when you'd have an assignment due, and you waited until the very last day to do it, but somehow you managed to pull it off smooth as butter? That was a skilled art form me and my friends used to refer to as Slap Bangery™. I literally went through school slap banging 90% of my homework and assignments. I had a strong belief that school time should be for learning, and home time should be for what ever the hell else I want to do.

As a result of my "beliefs" (aka laziness), I spent a lot of time perfecting this art form. I simply didn't like wasting my time on the freaking precepts of order. I had better things to do with my time (aka getting wasted). A such, I became quite skilled at slap bangery and so I am here today to offer some of you young slap bangers to-be a bit of guidance and advice relating to efficient implementation of slap bangery principles. So lets get started shall we.

Here are the facts:

• You only need 10 to 30 percentage as much time as dictated
  
• things are always much simpler than they first appear to be
  
• most of your homework assignments don't mean crap anyway
  

It is important to understand these first two points. When you get given an assignment and it says it should take 10 hours, take 30% of that and set that as your time limit (3 hours in this case). And the reason for this is because almost all questions can be answered much more quickly than initially expected. The question might sound complex, but that doesn't mean it should be hard to answer. The real trick is to find the most important information as quick as possible.

It's not about knowing your stuff but finding your stuff

Now, do not be confused, this is not like "hyper study", because the point is to make everything as easy as possible. It isn't about reading over the information carefully or being able to understand the information properly, it's all about being able to find the information and zip over it quickly whilst locating the most important information. You need to become an expert at locating relevant information. Finding the data you need is half the challenge a lot of the time.

Once you have found the data you need, the next thing you need to do is glance over it quickly and hone in on the most important parts of the data. Take note of where the key points are so you can come back to them if needed. You only need to understand the data enough so that you can wedge it into your assignment without it looking suspicious. Make it seem as though you know what you're talking about when in actuality you have no damn idea (ATSers are good at that ).

Stop looking at everything as if it were rocket science

I discovered that one of my main problems when it came to answering test questions, was that I always freaked out and imagined that everything was so hard and impossible. When you step back, take a few breaths, and take another close look at the question, you will most likely discover it is actually no where near as complex as you had imagined it. It is important to always "lower the bar" when attempting to answer something with seems like it might melt your brain.

When you go into something thinking it's impossible, chances are it will prove to be impossible. On the other hand, if you go in thinking it's going to be a peace of cake, it will be. It's of the utmost importance that you take on problems with the right mentality. When you think it's easy it will be easy. There's no reason to make it harder for yourself and attempt to answer the question as if you really were a rocket scientist. Take the easy route and give an easy but valid answer.

Understand the question properly so you can slap bang it properly

It is highly important to properly understand the question you are about to answer before attempting to slap bang it together. Understanding the question properly will allow you to develop strategies and ways in which the question might be undermined and answered in a way which doesn't really require much effort from you. The real trick is to make it look like you answered the question properly, but in actuality it took you 30 seconds to slap together.

Now we are not talking about plagiarizing here. You cannot slap bang something together by simply using the work of other people. Slap bangery is not a way to easily steal work from other people, it is a way for you to generate your own work in record time without much effort required. It does require some effort, but the feeling of getting an assignment done and spending less than a day on it is a feeling which is well worth the modest amount of time required.

Use out-of-the-box thinking to solve problems faster

For slap bangery to work properly, you need to be willing to think outside of the box. In-the-box thinking will not get you anywhere. Search for your answers in unexpected places, create ways to answer the question in a way which diverts attention from the actual question, learn how to add "filler" into your answers to make them look longer, etc. Use any practical method at your disposal to avoid answering the question with the full detail and effort usually required.

You must learn to answer questions in unexpected ways, any way but the way it's meant to be answered. The trick is to make it look like you're answering the question with your full ability. Your answer might not even be a stupid answer, it may be factual and intelligent, but it still wont contain the full answer in full detail; it will contain dot-points, cleverly summarized subjects, filler, irrelevant talking points which seem relevant, with the intention of giving the impression that you studied.

You must learn to develop the wrist of the ninja

Once you are ready to answer the questions, you need to write quickly. The idea is to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. Take on a writing style which just flows from your wrist with blistering speed, it doesn't matter if it looks messy. Messy writing is the new genius writing. And when you start writing try to keep the flow going. You'll find it comes easier once you're going. Just literally "make it up as you go along", you don't need to answer the question in a precise format.

A lot of the time you'll find questions which are very "open ended", these are good types of questions to just let your words flow onto the page because the examiners aren't expecting any exact type of answer. When you get writing like this, it's easy to consume several pages in less than 30 minutes. Furthermore, if you make your letters fairly bulky and the space between each line fairly large, you can also create the illusion that you wrote more than you actually wrote.

There are no official schools of slap bangery

Slap bangery is something which you must learn on your own, over time, by practicing. I can give you tips and advice but you will only get better by practicing it yourself. Never trust another slap banger to help you, because they will only take shortcuts and skip crucial pieces of information. In fact, this whole thread was slap banged together in less than an hour.

It only works if you are intelligent.

Nice catch-phrase. I just called in "blowing off my homework". lol.

Originally posted by fourthmeal
It only works if you are intelligent.

lol, well it certainly helps... but it isn't absolutely necessary.
Anyone can follow my points and master the art of slap bangery.

I live my life this way and I'm pretty successful... So, slap bangery it is.

Fun read too, S&F.

reply to post by BlastedCaddy

So, slap bangery it is.

lol, slap bangery 4 life!

And now let us shoot for the stars!

Slap bangers AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

reply to post by BlastedCaddy


lol, your freaking text thing under your username is classic.

"Waiting for the SHTF so i dont have to go to work anymore"

Now that is slap bangery sir.