Originally posted by jewells
Hey OP, for what its worth I was once 'that girl'.
I had what I thought ,was a best guy friend. I adored him, his mind ,everything! We tried dating a couple of times, but I found that he would change
into a much more serious, needy, un-confident person. This wasn't who I was attracted to initially.
Over the years we were in & out of touch, & when my relationship with another broke down (I was pregnant) he appeared once more. While I was glad of
the friendship & support, I later realised he was still carrying a torch.
Long story short, I didn't want to try as I had learnt that we were much better friends than lovers. I truly looked at this guy like a soul-mate/best
friend & loved him truly in this way.
When I met my current partner a few years later, he just stopped contact. He didn't want to be friends at all.
I was really hurt & confused as I had never led him to believe that we'd ever be more than friends (I had explained my feelings many times) & I
mistakenly thought he was ok with it. It really shattered me that if he couldn't have me then I wasn't worth being friends with.
I finally (years later!) can see why he did what he did. While I still miss & love him, I no longer am angry or hurt, & only hope that we can be
friends again one day.
I don't know if this helps you at all, but just wanted you to know that she can think of you like a soul-mate but that doesn't mean that a
relationship could/should be right.
Hope it all works out good for you.
I once played the other guy. Your so-called soulmate. I know why he never called back and just disappeared from your life.
Have you tried thinking what he felt when you rejected him? Regardless of how sweet and sugar-coated you might have made it for him.
He was -or probably is- incredibly hurt. With all certainty he was very much in love with you. He knew you very well, inside and out. He loved you at
your most vulnerable. He cherished you at your most beautiful. However, when it was his turn to feel loved in the same way, he didn't meet your bar,
however high, low, wide or what-have-you that is.
Knowing that your love is a one-way street can bring people to madness.
So there you have it. Even if it was never your intention, you hurt him like hell. Or at least that is how he perceives it. Unless he finds love with
someone else -a fulfilling, nurturing love, you'll probably never hear from him again, except in those cardboard poker faced e-mails you send to wish
merry christmas, happy new years and birthdays.
Let me reiterate, I know this because I have been there, exactly as you describe your experience. I know the feeling...still being around, holding
that flickering candle from going out and hoping with every cell of your body that 'she' might finally realize how meant for each other you really
When you met your actual partner, he probably felt the most stupid human being on earth.
So try to get out of your head a bit and walk a mile or two on his shoes. Don't be hard on him. Rejection is a pill hard to swallow.
I'll leave you with this quote by Neil Gaiman:
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone
can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid
person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did
something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you
out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into
your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain
Love can be a dog from hell.
edit on 8-5-2012 by RadioKnecht because: (no reason given)