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There is little debate the European Union has had a lot of trouble over the last few years. Strife over membership, debates over sovereignty and of course most importantly the economic crisis which, while more or less stabilized now, is still a threat weighing heavily over the continent. Despite all that, though, few would argue that the EU hasn’t been a remarkable experiment particularly on that continent.
The E.U., though, has had trouble and that trouble will likely continue for a long time to come. The nature of the Union, with every country retaining its independence within a larger group, is part of what has caused so many of the problems. That is something everyone in the Union will agree with and a pivot point upon which the entire thing will stand or fall. Now, though, it appears that the leaders of the Union have a solution which involves absorbing every nation into itself and conquering every one that decides it wants to object.
“This is a plot by people who want to abolish nation states and create a United States of Europe. The whole thing is barmy. These people are determined to achieve their final objective. The only hope for Britain is to leave the EU and become an independent nation,” said Labour peer Lord Stoddart who didn’t actually present any evidence of such an action.
“I think, ultimately, we are probably going to be looking at an entire planet unified under a single government. That’s the only thing that really makes sense in the long term as the meaning of borders start to dissolve and evaporate, a process which is already happening as we speak. Frankly, that’s really the only way we will be able to stand against rebellious Martian colonies or alien invasions. We need to work as one,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “Evolving into that and forcing it are two very different things, though, and trying to force people into doing things they don’t want to do is usually problematic at best. That kind of thing usually starts wars, which is kind of the opposite of what the EU was set up to do.”
It’s not clear if the new leader of the continent will be current EU President Herman Van Rompuy or some megalomaniacal tyrant as yet unseen.