I know that I'm somewhere approaching "old" - somewhere between a cougar and a "little old lady".
But age is just a number.
I had my first cigarette when I was thirteen.
Since then I've born and raised three children.
I served them all, and grovelled before a husband and a vicious mother-in-law.
While doing all of that smoking my cigarette was still chick and fashionable.
It was almost required back then, and even the doctors smoked, and suggested brands.
Now things have changed.
At least they've changed in public - it's almost all non-smoking.
What upsets me is how it changed in private.
But I'm still taking care of the same people, except that they are now 20 years older.
"No Myrtle you shouldn't!" granny-in-law cries when I sneak outside for a quick puff.
Then I puff one drag of nicotine, and I think to myself, "You
should have smoked more, you old cow."
Everyday I've heard it, since she turned bloody 90:
"Oh Myrtle I can't see; I wish I was dead. Oh Myrtle I can't hear; I wish I was dead - all day bloody long."
Sometimes I feel like buying her a box of Marlboro and shoving them up her nose, and lighting them all at once.
Then there's the kids - oh no mum, you can't smoke, consider your age!
Is that my karma coming back?
Hell, that's the same crap I told them when they were twelve.
And then there's the husband who treats me like a naughty teenager when I take a considerate smoke around the bend.
This is him: "Myrtle, I can smell smoke! Are you smoking cigarettes?"
Really, hello, what am I supposed to answer to that?
"Oh no honey, I'm just smoking some crack, and shoved some Marlboro ciggies up your mother's nose, so technically she's smoking the cigarettes?"
They say it aged me.
They say it makes me short of breath, and my voice is always hoarse.
I like that, and I love to hide a cough and a hack behind an eloquent hand.
It's my body.
They don't want me to stop smoking - they want me to serve them forever.
Well guess again, because my service to all has been done.
And therefore I take another round white cylinder and put it between my lips ... and I inhale, and blow a delightful wisp of smoke into the air.
Yes, time takes a cigarette, and puts in your mouth, and frankly my dears, I couldn't give a damn.
edit on 4-5-2012 by halfoldman because: (no