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I fear my wife may be a Reptilian

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posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:23 PM
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If this is true, how come you didnt look at all the signs? I would freak out if I saw my boyfriend's tongue get really long (not really actually
).. but it would freak me out.

I would drive over to the hotel and find out where she is at....
edit on 1-5-2012 by blackmetalmist because: (no reason given)




posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:23 PM
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Originally posted by Hawkmoon1972
Pet Komodo?? Don't think so. Unless you live in their habitat you do not own one. They are a protected species and most countries do not allow them to be owned privately.

Seriously though, see a therapist. I don't mean that in a derogatory way. It appears that you are struggling with a few delusions.


Owned??? That's his wife you're talking about mate, equality for reptilians!



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:24 PM
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Originally posted by Blargcakes
Hello ATS. After many years of worrying, yesterday I believe I saw proof that my wife is a Reptilian shape shifter.

When I first met her, she seemed like a normal woman. She was eager to get married, she proposed to me after we dated for 4 weeks. We haved lived happily for 12 years now, but around year 3 of our marriage I began to notice strange things. For years she would dissappear into our bathroom for long periods of time (hours), and I would hear tearing and grunting noises, along with some sort of rythmic hissing. She refused to be in pictures or video, even for our wedding we had no cameras. She loves snakes, and has an aquariam filled with them. Her tongue in unnaturally long and I've seen it become pointed late at night. She can see extremely well in the dark. She has superhuman strength. She has said strange things about time travel. One morning she remarked how JFK's hair looked lighter in person than the films show, and she has said strange things like that.

But yesterday was the eye opener. My wife was outside in the yard playing with her pet Komodo dragon. A stray cat ran in our yard. My wife grabbed the cat, and in a split second her jaw expanded and she ate the entire cat. I ran to my car and drove to a far away hotel and decided to post this thread. What do I do?


How cute is that?

Thanks for the laugh.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:24 PM
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Single post.........

No replies from OP to any of this........

I say trash it.......deliberate Hoax and Trolling, which is against T and C, some mods seem to forget that...........not even Gray Area material.........



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:25 PM
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I almost fell for this... until the whole eating a cat thing...

my wife also spends lots of time in the bathroom.. and when I try to intrude her head spins around and she screams at me

hmmmm



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:25 PM
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Originally posted by RandomEsotericScreenname
reply to post by Blargcakes
 


It depends, has she already laid the eggs?
edit on 1-5-2012 by RandomEsotericScreenname because: (no reason given)


Not that I know of. But I have seen her digging very large holes and putting things in them. When I asked her about it she laughed and told me not to bother her again



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:25 PM
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Originally posted by ManBehindTheMask
Single post.........

No replies from OP to any of this........

I say trash it.......deliberate Hoax and Trolling, which is against T and C, some mods seem to forget that...........not even Gray Area material.........



Nah, not so hasty mate, they could be having a domestic about how they've been holding out on each other



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:25 PM
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Originally posted by Blargcakes
But yesterday was the eye opener. My wife was outside in the yard playing with her pet Komodo dragon. A stray cat ran in our yard. My wife grabbed the cat, and in a split second her jaw expanded and she ate the entire cat. I ran to my car and drove to a far away hotel and decided to post this thread. What do I do?


First, don't use any credit cards so she can't track you. If you already paid for your room with one, get out of there now!

Get rid of that car, now. Hide it in bushes out of sight and walk away.

Then toss your cell phone and get a cheap preloaded one to use. Throw them away every couple of days and get another.

Take all your money out of the bank in cash.

Stay away from your family and all your friends or you will put them in danger.

Move to a large city and get lost among the masses. Stay out of small towns where you will stand out.

Live in old Hotels like the drunks and addicts do, where you pay cash and they don't care what your real name is. Find ways to earn money without giving your real name, like day labor jobs. Find out where the illegals go to find work.

Accept the fact you can never go back if you care about your life and the lives of your family and loved ones.
edit on 5/1/2012 by Blaine91555 because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:26 PM
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reply to post by Blargcakes
 


Flip er over, tickle her belly, if her legs go straight out and her toes curl and her head goes back then shes a reptoid to be sure.

Want a less obvious test?

Use a camcorder that does 120 fps and examine the frames.

You will see her morphing changing her appearance between frames.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:26 PM
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Originally posted by Blargcakes

Originally posted by RandomEsotericScreenname
reply to post by Blargcakes
 


It depends, has she already laid the eggs?
edit on 1-5-2012 by RandomEsotericScreenname because: (no reason given)


Not that I know of. But I have seen her digging very large holes and putting things in them. When I asked her about it she laughed and told me not to bother her again


LOL laid eggs



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:27 PM
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Originally posted by phishyblankwaters
reply to post by Blargcakes
 


Since this is still going....

Post a scan of your birth certificate or any other age identifying piece of ID, blacking out and sensitive information, and post it here.

See. Not only do I not believe your wife is a shape shifting reptilian alien. I don't believe you have a wife. I don't believe you are any older than 14.


I would, but as I have stated, I am in a hotel for fear of my life. I don't think the hotel's computer has picture taking equipment, and even if it did I don't think they would appreciate me taking pictures of my driver's liscence. Maybe if I can sneak back to my house later this week I will



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:28 PM
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reply to post by Starchild23
 


I would only skin the ones that ate cats!
I don't wear heels anymore,I do like a nice
leather purse though



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:28 PM
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Originally posted by Blargcakes

Originally posted by phishyblankwaters
reply to post by Blargcakes
 


Since this is still going....

Post a scan of your birth certificate or any other age identifying piece of ID, blacking out and sensitive information, and post it here.

See. Not only do I not believe your wife is a shape shifting reptilian alien. I don't believe you have a wife. I don't believe you are any older than 14.


I would, but as I have stated, I am in a hotel for fear of my life. I don't think the hotel's computer has picture taking equipment, and even if it did I don't think they would appreciate me taking pictures of my driver's liscence. Maybe if I can sneak back to my house later this week I will


Be brave mate, stock up on lizard repellant and you'll be fine, no fear.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:29 PM
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Playing with the pet Komodo? Hoo wee... ...and why do people eat the cat? Why not the dog?

Priceless.

The only good Reptilian is a pair of cowboy boots.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:29 PM
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Originally posted by Hawkmoon1972
Pet Komodo?? Don't think so. Unless you live in their habitat you do not own one. They are a protected species and most countries do not allow them to be owned privately.

Seriously though, see a therapist. I don't mean that in a derogatory way. It appears that you are struggling with a few delusions.


Ah, well I am not sure where she got it. She said it followed her home one day and lived in our yard since. The same thing happened with an alligator 2 months ago



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:30 PM
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reply to post by BIHOTZ
 


You are a sick puppy

I hope she never bites



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:31 PM
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Maybe if you get her a large heat lamp

she may accept your apology!

or a tanning bed... you can get one of those on the internets pretty cheap... maybe easier than falling off the grid



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:31 PM
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Originally posted by Blaine91555

Originally posted by Blargcakes
But yesterday was the eye opener. My wife was outside in the yard playing with her pet Komodo dragon. A stray cat ran in our yard. My wife grabbed the cat, and in a split second her jaw expanded and she ate the entire cat. I ran to my car and drove to a far away hotel and decided to post this thread. What do I do?


First, don't use any credit cards so she can't track you. If you already paid for your room with one, get out of there now!

Get rid of that car, now. Hide it in bushes out of sight and walk away.

Then toss your cell phone and get a cheap preloaded one to use. Throw them away every couple of days and get another.

Take all your money out of the bank in cash.

Stay away from your family and all your friends or you will put them in danger.

Move to a large city and get lost among the masses. Stay out of small towns where you will stand out.

Live in old Hotels like the drunks and addicts do, where you pay cash and they don't care what your real name is. Find ways to earn money without giving your real name, like day labor jobs. Find out where the illegals go to find work.

Accept the fact you can never go back if you care about your life and the lives of your family and loved ones.
edit on 5/1/2012 by Blaine91555 because: (no reason given)


Good advice. Sounds like you have experience running from "them" as well. Was it Reptilians after you as well?



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:31 PM
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Originally posted by seagull
The only good Reptilian is a pair of cowboy boots.


Im sorry Reptilians have to put up with this sort of discrimination.




posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:32 PM
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reply to post by Blargcakes
 


I laughed 'til I almost was crying

still laughing now

thank you...

no, seriously - thank you

:-)






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