I fear my wife may be a Reptilian

page: 2
16
<< 1    3  4  5 >>

log in

join

posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:03 PM
link   

Originally posted by Maxatoria
you trolling or serious?

OP is trolling, but you may be beyond help.




posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:03 PM
link   
reply to post by Blargcakes
 


Be grateful for the long tongue. Don't adopt any cats or dogs. You may want to do some research to see if reptilian women eat their young before choosing to start a family. Good luck!



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:04 PM
link   
reply to post by Blargcakes
 





posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:04 PM
link   
reply to post by mamabeth
 


Wow, so because they mitigate your fashion sense, you decide they need to die to make you feel good about yourself?

Learn to look deeper than what you're wearing.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:05 PM
link   
reply to post by Blargcakes
 


wow.

My wife did the same thing. After she opened her jaw, I ran out picked her up and ran her up to our bedroom. We have been happily married ever since. I originally got married for the extra long tongue, but that sealed the deal for me.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:06 PM
link   

Originally posted by Blargcakes
Hello ATS. After many years of worrying, yesterday I believe I saw proof that my wife is a Reptilian shape shifter.

When I first met her, she seemed like a normal woman. She was eager to get married, she proposed to me after we dated for 4 weeks. We haved lived happily for 12 years now, but around year 3 of our marriage I began to notice strange things. For years she would dissappear into our bathroom for long periods of time (hours), and I would hear tearing and grunting noises, along with some sort of rythmic hissing. She refused to be in pictures or video, even for our wedding we had no cameras. She loves snakes, and has an aquariam filled with them. Her tongue in unnaturally long and I've seen it become pointed late at night. She can see extremely well in the dark. She has superhuman strength. She has said strange things about time travel. One morning she remarked how JFK's hair looked lighter in person than the films show, and she has said strange things like that.

But yesterday was the eye opener. My wife was outside in the yard playing with her pet Komodo dragon. A stray cat ran in our yard. My wife grabbed the cat, and in a split second her jaw expanded and she ate the entire cat. I ran to my car and drove to a far away hotel and decided to post this thread. What do I do?


Man, that has gotta be the funniest thing I have ever read on ATS, nah, funniest thing ever. Oh dear, I have tears running down my face with this thread, absolute brilliance OP.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:09 PM
link   
It's called a Terrarium not Aquarium.

Aquariums are for fish.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:10 PM
link   
reply to post by Blargcakes
 


Since this is still going....

Post a scan of your birth certificate or any other age identifying piece of ID, blacking out and sensitive information, and post it here.

See. Not only do I not believe your wife is a shape shifting reptilian alien. I don't believe you have a wife. I don't believe you are any older than 14.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:11 PM
link   
Seems legit!




posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:13 PM
link   

Originally posted by Starchild23
Reptilians...pure-blooded reptilians...are incapable of carrying human relationships convincingly, to the point of simply being inhuman on all levels. Their hatred of the human race is too great for such a sensitive task as being a wife. Additionally, they don't "shape shift". They have holographic projectors. That's it.

Therefore, your suspicions are completely bunk. You need help...not for her, but for yourself.
edit on CTuesdaypm141402f02America/Chicago01 by Starchild23 because: (no reason given)


Ahh , not sure OP if you are serious or not, but this kind of stuff is getting really old here on ATS, we see this day in and day out........

Please provide more information.........


How do you know, where are your studies on this and where are the confirmed documentations that
1. Reptilians exist

2. Anyone has tried to carry on a relationship with them



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:13 PM
link   
It's illegal to own a komodo dragon in the USA. I feel obligated to report you to the proper authorities.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:13 PM
link   
Wow, they're coming out of the wood work today!



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:14 PM
link   
Sounds like she has no gag reflexes, so buy her some roses and make a nice dinner to get her in the mood.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:14 PM
link   

Originally posted by ManBehindTheMask

Originally posted by Starchild23
Reptilians...pure-blooded reptilians...are incapable of carrying human relationships convincingly, to the point of simply being inhuman on all levels. Their hatred of the human race is too great for such a sensitive task as being a wife. Additionally, they don't "shape shift". They have holographic projectors. That's it.

Therefore, your suspicions are completely bunk. You need help...not for her, but for yourself.
edit on CTuesdaypm141402f02America/Chicago01 by Starchild23 because: (no reason given)


Ahh , not sure OP if you are serious or not, but this kind of stuff is getting really old here on ATS, we see this day in and day out........

Please provide more information.........


How do you know, where are your studies on this and where are the confirmed documentations that
1. Reptilians exist

2. Anyone has tried to carry on a relationship with them


He says he's married to one, how close a relationship do you want??????



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:15 PM
link   
reply to post by Tbrooks76
 


my point exactly.

Skip the dinner just stop by a pet store.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:16 PM
link   
reply to post by Blargcakes
 


Cool fiction.

No such thing as reptilians. Does your wife know you called her a lizard? I bet you're not even married.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:16 PM
link   
Isnt your post discriminatory and derogatory toward Reptilian Females?



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:19 PM
link   
pet komodo dragon.. rofl



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:19 PM
link   
reply to post by Blargcakes
 


Go to her and love her more. You're a spiritual ambassador, you're showing that these physical forms are the only thing that separate us. If you can still love her, you're breaking the barriers of the illusion and becoming something more than human...

/playingalong

Stop trolling, brah.



posted on May, 1 2012 @ 02:22 PM
link   
Pet Komodo?? Don't think so. Unless you live in their habitat you do not own one. They are a protected species and most countries do not allow them to be owned privately.

Seriously though, see a therapist. I don't mean that in a derogatory way. It appears that you are struggling with a few delusions.





new topics
top topics
 
16
<< 1    3  4  5 >>

log in

join