My 7 year old suspened for "sexual harassment"

I'm assuming the OP hasn't been back to update us?

This situation is totally out of hand, this one incident can ruin the young boy's life. Unless he has prior offenses of ACTUAL inappropriate touching, hands down someone's pants, exposing himself, etc, then the reaction is way overblown.

Do we ban all touching???

A couple of friends of mine had their sons playing, one of the parents caught the boys playing a game that involved them sitting on each others faces. Nobody freaked out and called the cps. They simply took the boys aside and explained that the game was inappropriate and potentially dangerous. It never happened again.

Another friend of mine had a problem with her son in kindergarten. He is a very intelligent boy with a speech problem. He also has 60000000 questions about the most inane things and the teacher thought he was a pain in the butt. She also recommended a psych evaluation and all kinds of tests and crap. The teacher was convinced there was something wrong with him. It was a very stressful year for his mother because she was constantly harrassed by phone calls and letters. They got through it and now his teachers love him and he's in first grade now. Still a chatty little thing, but he's learning to control his impulses of speaking out too much.

Kids are kids. The hit and push each other. They scream. They throw things. It's up to the parents and other authorities to correct the behavior, but does everybody have to freak out everytime a 7 year old makes a mistake?

The things we did when I was in school would seriously be considered felonies today, punishable by life in prison or the death penalty. This whole country has gone completely insane, it's not just the teachers and the schools.

ETA: Guess you did update OP. Glad to see things worked out, but I still thing it's outrageous.

Originally posted by coop039


The indication of the DFS involvement came from a teacher that called, the principle had no knowledge of this and he said he would know as he has to sign off and stuff like that.

Great! Sounds like the principal has a calm head without flying off the handle -- unlike the teacher who called you. I bet your little boy has learned his lesson, and probably will be too scared to touch a girl for the next 10 years!

Originally posted by VeritaAnon
I'm assuming the OP hasn't been back to update us?

This situation is totally out of hand, this one incident can ruin the young boy's life. Unless he has prior offenses of ACTUAL inappropriate touching, hands down someone's pants, exposing himself, etc, then the reaction is way overblown.

Do we ban all touching???

A couple of friends of mine had their sons playing, one of the parents caught the boys playing a game that involved them sitting on each others faces. Nobody freaked out and called the cps. They simply took the boys aside and explained that the game was inappropriate and potentially dangerous. It never happened again.

Another friend of mine had a problem with her son in kindergarten. He is a very intelligent boy with a speech problem. He also has 60000000 questions about the most inane things and the teacher thought he was a pain in the butt. She also recommended a psych evaluation and all kinds of tests and crap. The teacher was convinced there was something wrong with him. It was a very stressful year for his mother because she was constantly harrassed by phone calls and letters. They got through it and now his teachers love him and he's in first grade now. Still a chatty little thing, but he's learning to control his impulses of speaking out too much.

Kids are kids. The hit and push each other. They scream. They throw things. It's up to the parents and other authorities to correct the behavior, but does everybody have to freak out everytime a 7 year old makes a mistake?

The things we did when I was in school would seriously be considered felonies today, punishable by life in prison or the death penalty. This whole country has gone completely insane, it's not just the teachers and the schools.

ETA: Guess you did update OP. Glad to see things worked out, but I still thing it's outrageous.

edit on 26-4-2012 by VeritaAnon because: (no reason given)

yes, I did. Page 19.

Ah, you saw it.

I doubt a 7 year old even has the ability to 'sexually harass' another. Even if your child was giving a wedgie for a laugh, it's not sexual in nature it's just a bit of fun. At this rate, it won't be long before prepubescent kids are put on the sex offenders list and locked up for being paedophiles.

reply to post by coop039


I'm glad to hear that the code of conduct violation was amended to reflect "inappropriate behavior." As a current school administrator, I only deem code of conduct violations for "harassment" if the incidents are persistent and ongoing, despite previous attempts to mediate, conference, and/or take disciplinary action.

I do wish you luck through this process. And again, I do encourage you to have a solid conversation with your child about any potential future incidents. The reaction of the school/school district is now quite evident. Any further incidents will likely be met with more intense disciplinary actions. Hopefully this will become an isolated "learning opportunity."

reply to post by Faulks


I wouldn't speak so soon. There are multiple incidents, similar to this link, that have occurred over the past few years. In most cases, absolute-neglect on the teachers' part. However, these acts are also initiated by student-on-student. So, they do have the ability.

www.huffingtonpost.com... 3/third-graders-oral-sex-tallulah-elementary-school_n_1375399.html

Lastly, elementary/middle/high school aged minors that engage in "sexting" behaviors and distribute lewd photographs of other minors can, in some states, be arrested and found guilty for distributing pornographic images of minors.

So, again...they do have the ability and will-power. Whether they understand the severity of their actions, is perhaps debatable.

Originally posted by poet1b

I'd be upset that this girl was running around with her butt crack showing. Why doesn't her parents dress her properly for school? I would be asking school officials about that. Why did the teacher allow this?

What are the odds that this girl is sent to school dressed like this regularly, and runs around all the time with her butt crack showing.

We have to get on my six year old niece all the time for her butt crack showing. I was at a friends house a couple weeks ago and she was telling her four year old to pull her pants up, too. Kids' bodies are weird as they grow. You can't always find clothes that will fit perfectly, especially when it comes to pants. I mean, my mom made me wear boys jeans because my legs were so dang long and nothing fit!! LOL

In the case of my niece, she is head and neck above every other kid in her kindergarten class. She has such long legs that all the pants that are long enough are too big in the waist (I). Belts only do so much, though she wears them all the time, but she's so tall and skinny, it's nearly impossible for her mom to find stuff that fits right.

Couple that with the energetic nature of kids and all their writhing around, you should expect to see some butt crack once in a while.

reply to post by coop039


I am going to go out on a limb and say that you didn't freak out and get a lawyer and barge into the meeting with a tape recorder, threatening every person in the meeting like so many people in here suggested.

Glad to see that the system worked like it was supposed to work.

1. Student does something objectionable.
2. Student is removed pending parental meeting.
3. Things get ironed out.
4. Everyone understands the problem and moves on.

reply to post by nunya13


Oh, I agree, it is a part of the kids being kids situation, along with pulling up someones pants because their butt crack is showing.

But somebody decided to make this a serious offense. Who knows what their agenda is, and sometimes a good defense is a good offense. They want to blame a 7 yr old, so why not call the teacher down for their failure to protect your son, in their crazy way of looking at things. If the girl's parents are pushing this, then bring them into the same boat. Why can't they dress their daughter properly?

It is a sad indictment on the state of affairs in this country that this sort of thing is becoming common, which is why we have 20 pages so far on this Op, and lots of horror stories about how screwed up this situation is.

Oh, and in the future, quoting me on something 10 pages back somewhere, please post a link to my original statement, by using the "reply-to" link. If I remember right, that wasn't all I said, and it would be nice to see the whole post for review.

What do you think? Are you on the throw the kid in the dungeon side?

Originally posted by Furbs
reply to post by coop039

 

I am going to go out on a limb and say that you didn't freak out and get a lawyer and barge into the meeting with a tape recorder, threatening every person in the meeting like so many people in here suggested.

Glad to see that the system worked like it was supposed to work.

1. Student does something objectionable.
2. Student is removed pending parental meeting.
3. Things get ironed out.
4. Everyone understands the problem and moves on.

Yeah, the system worked -- except for the Chicken Little teacher, who threatened the OP with DFS involvement. I sincerely hope the principal has a serious talk with that teacher. He/she had no right to even bring that up if the principal hadn't even discussed it at all.

reply to post by coop039


I have a 7 year old daughter in a very conservative school district and twice thus far the same boy has dropped his pands and showed the girls his business. No suspension etc. The boy was reprimanded. Was it the physical contact that elevated this to a suspension? I would be interested in the girls side of the story?

Boys do dumb things...girls too. It is not an indicator of abuse at home or future prospects for your child. They just do dumb things and then learn. So...what was the girls side of the story in the meeting with the principle?

Originally posted by kaylaluv

Yeah, the system worked -- except for the Chicken Little teacher, who threatened the OP with DFS involvement. I sincerely hope the principal has a serious talk with that teacher. He/she had no right to even bring that up if the principal hadn't even discussed it at all.

What about the teacher mentioning the possibility for DFS involvement was a break in the system? That teacher has the -right- to say anything she wants to according to the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States. She could have called him up, bawled him out, told him never to be seen driving garbage around the vicinity again, and she would have been within her rights to do so.

If that had happened, the Principle has the same right under the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States to recommend her termination. As this is ongoing, I can not comment on what has/has not happened to the teacher.

reply to post by coop039


Glad to hear you handled yourself well, although I think you child was unreasonably punished.

I agree, sounds like some teacher has an agenda. You might want to follow up, find some student advocate, talk to some of the other parents.

reply to post by VeritaAnon

This whole country has gone completely insane, it's not just the teachers and the schools.

You got that right. The whole country seems to have gone insane over the last decade. It's not just the schools,and is this madness is not just limited to government agencies. The private sector has gone every bit as wackadoodle.

When they started selling modest homes for a million dollars, things had already gone insane, and the madness seems to continue to spread.

Originally posted by Furbs

Originally posted by kaylaluv

Yeah, the system worked -- except for the Chicken Little teacher, who threatened the OP with DFS involvement. I sincerely hope the principal has a serious talk with that teacher. He/she had no right to even bring that up if the principal hadn't even discussed it at all.

What about the teacher mentioning the possibility for DFS involvement was a break in the system? That teacher has the -right- to say anything she wants to according to the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States. She could have called him up, bawled him out, told him never to be seen driving garbage around the vicinity again, and she would have been within her rights to do so.

If that had happened, the Principle has the same right under the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States to recommend her termination. As this is ongoing, I can not comment on what has/has not happened to the teacher.

I didn't say the teacher should go to jail -- just that she was wrong for unnecessarily scaring the boy's parent. The subject of child protective services is a VERY serious matter. The teacher should not have discussed the possibility if he/she didn't have any official knowledge of it. While the teacher may be constitutionally protected from the law for saying it, it was poor judgement, and shouldn't be tolerated by the school system. That was my point.

My nephew got kicked out of school for a week for telling a girl he "LIKED" her... But he is like 9..

reply to post by Furbs

I am going to go out on a limb and say that you didn't freak out and get a lawyer and barge into the meeting with a tape recorder, threatening every person in the meeting like so many people in here suggested.

While it is wonderful that the principle was reasonable and the system worked as it should being proactive is not 'freaking out'. When DFS is threatened, this time apparently in error, it is not 'freaking out' to be prepared. The initial labeling of this incident as 'sexual harassment' is cause enough to be extremely cautious and fully informed of your rights and your son's. The whole incident shouldn't have been blown out of proportion. Kids are kids, touch each other. Simply saying to the 'offender' it made the little girl uncomfortable would suffice. Kids learn manners as a natural progression. This is teaching them compliance through fear and intimidation. A five day suspension is way over the top. I mean really...this is stupid.

Being prepared is not 'freaking out'.

~is still a rose

Still...such a contradiction that children are taught it is inappropriate behavior to touch another but conditioned to allow TSA to do so.

The funny thing is that the kid in all likelihood really just pulled up the pants "because your butt looks so ugly" (well, like a typical KID)...the "sexual" component comes in much later, it was introduced by the parents/teacher alone.

This is really a society which is predestined to raise psychopaths and serial killers, and it's NOT the kid's fault but the teacher's and parent's fault alone.

I feel sorry for the 7 year old because he hardly did anything "out of the ordinary" for a little kid, and i can see such things having one or the other effect on the kid, maybe not obvious...but certainly in some way.

Isn't it a known fact that kids do "stupid" things all the time, they don't understand rules and what is right or not..because they are kids? So..why on earth are adult rules applied to kids?

As in..what was a wedgie some decades ago or maybe pulling someone's pants up is now "sexual harrasment" done by an "assailant"? I can't even say how sick i think this all is.

Pulling up a girl's pants for her is not an acceptable excuse.

Let's say I saw a girl with her thong showing in the back. Can I help pull her pants up? Can I help tuck the thong a little lower so it's not showing? What age is it okay to do so? At what age is it okay for a boy to help a girl with her pants without her permission??

The age doesn't matter. Adults need to be clear whats okay and what's not okay. This is a lesson learned.

The kid may have innocent intentions, but the lesson needs to be learned.

Originally posted by arosebyanyothername
A five day suspension is way over the top. I mean really...this is stupid.

I totally agree, but here's why I think the principal upheld the 5-day suspension -- to keep the girl's parents happy. My sister-in-law is an elementary school principal, and she tells me nightmare stories of the politics of dealing with children's parents. The OP's principal probably felt like he was compromising as well as he could, to make both the OP and the other parents happy. By removing "sexual harassment" and reducing the suspension, he tries to soothe the boy's parent. By allowing a suspension at all, he tries to soothe the girl's parents. Since OP recognizes that what his boy did was indeed wrong, I think he is ok with the 5-day suspension. Beats the hell out of having to deal with DFS, anyway!