My 7 year old suspened for "sexual harassment"

Originally posted by Xaphan
A seven year old suspended for sexual harassment... yet a seven year old hasn't even developed sexually

So much red tape at schools these days. Things are getting out of control really fast. Before you know it kids will have to have a TSA 'feel up' every day before they are allowed to enter the school.

...Don't believe me? Wait a few years. I can almost guarantee it will happen.

That is a spot on assessment, with the passing of a particular day in a childs life that is celebrated as passing into adulthood, the line between being regarded as grown up and resposible for your actions, and, too young too be regarded as anything other than naieve, has become very blurred.

I don't know why these crazy things are happening in our society. Looks like sex is the cause of all problems for a man. Why god gave us this biggest loophole of having sexual drive . you can watch these kind of stories all over the world in tv channel [spam link removed]

Originally posted by stuthealien
reply to post by coop039

 

sounds more like he was trying to give her a wedgie ,pull her pants up her backcrack,so it may be the case that your son is a bully and was trying to humiliate this girl,i dont expect you to think clearly about this as it is your son ,and as such you can see no wrong in this....
but please try to consider this from all sides,maybe just maybe your son is guilty

I'm sorry, but i concur with this post. Kids can be really cruel and to think that your son was helping is probably being a bit nieve. Does this warrant being expelled or even suspended?! No, of course not. Isolating someone for miss behaving is crazy. How will they ever learn to change?

MoEskiMo, your assertion that.


It is not okay to play doctor, or give wedgies, or any other type of behavior that is considered "normal". Just because you did it then, and did not get in trouble, does not make it okay.


Is wrong in so many ways, maybe if you didn't worry about your kids playing doctor with other kids the same age, it's possible they may grow up to be a normal healthy individual with no hang ups installed from parents that somehow "Sex is dirty", and is something they should not be doing.
There is a dearth of evidence available that shows this is a part of Normal behaviour and is a necessary part of a childs development.

As for giving wedgies, so long as the underwear isn't pulled so hard it can be made to cover the top of the head, and, isn't done in anything other but jest between friends, it's ok too.
The world or your children will not turn out to be anything other than well developed emotionally if you leave nature take it's course, an over bearing dominant mother or father figure instilling the notion tht sex is bad, or, dirty, does make for some interesting personality defects in those for whom it affects beyond their ability to reason their way out of it, and see the truth, that it is OK, and NORMAL.
Many serial killers have had parents that instilled this kind of thinking and had normal development arrested.

LOL and this is why all American males will eventually become gay (no offense to gay people they are ok too). Its the mass feminization of America. Encourage homosexual behavior (media, MTV, etc) so they dont procreate, and make it illegal to touch a woman (reduce it to the idea of if I ask her out will it be considered sexual harassment?) so, lol, they dont procreate.

I feel so sorry for the kids man they are my peoples. This world they are going to be in is going to suck so bad.

With all the girlfriends I've had through school, there was only a single format that meant what I was doing was the next thing to do. I played "bases". it meant to me that I was in a relationship with a person and that it would progress. The problem I had with this was that the girl could never know about it.

hmm I never seen a kid get expelled for giving someone a wedgie, to call it "sexual harassment" is obviously a great stretch... You need to realize that our liberalized school systems have been reformed (and continue to be) in order to be as politically correct as possible. The liberals who order this type of draconian measures are cloistered fools who know very little about the social activities of kids.

It sounds like your kid gave the girl a wedgie but was eloquent enough to create a feasible defense on the spot when caught and confronted (he reminds me of me ). Just talk to DFS and say that you will deal with him harshly but not physically. Tell them you took his video game system and hid it away, that'll piss most kids off far more than whacking em over the head will...

reply to post by coop039


Hey man, sorry but I don't know how to advise on this but my sympathy goes out to you and I totally agree that this is beyond ridiculous and I can't imagine anyone disagreeing with that. I hope it all ends up OK for you both (I'm sure it will), please do let us know. Maybe a protest outside the school or a petition if you can get other parents behind you??? I know I would HAVE to do something, they are wrong and you are right, stand up for that. Good luck!

Originally posted by coop039

What was his crime? He grabbed her pants (in the back) and pulled them up because "her butt crack was showing and it was disgusting". Now Im not the type who thinks his child can do no wrong, I know my little boy is not always the angel I want him to be, but to call this sexual harassment is just plain nuts.

Any adivce on how to deal with the school and DFS with this would be appreciated.

Thank you ATS.

edit on 25-4-2012 by coop039 because: (no reason given)

I have not read the entire thread, but from what I read of the first page of this thread no one is giving you any decent advice, just their opinion of what happened. Therefore I will offer some advice.

You do NOT want a state paid Psychiatrist. Find a good one, and even if you have to get a loan somehow to pay for it you will need an excellent psychiatrist who will evaluate your son properly. If you refuse an evaluation they will take your son away from you, so find a really good one, and you pay for it.

A good doctor will state that the child was being a normal child, and that there is nothing psychologically wrong with him. But you will not get such a decree from a state doctor, they will say your child has problems so they can get the state to pay them more when they force your son to go back for more office visits, and they will put your son on medication... I insist, a very good highly paid psychiatrist is what you must have.

But do not worry you will not have to take your child more than once or twice maximum. But since DFS has already said they want your child evaluated do this as soon as humanly possible, then you look like a cooperative and concerned parent. Any time pass and they will take your child, with or without your consent, to a state doctor. So be quick.

In order to deal with the school, after your child has been evaluated and deemed 'normal' then you can fight the school concerning possible expulsion.

Get an advocate if you need, to argue the case for your son, he was unjustly accused for nothing more than being a normal child. Sometimes you can get an advocate for free, and in this case depending on what DFS is doing you may actually need one, so look into what you can find in this area as cheaply as possible. Many will take your case based on income.

Be very careful with every of your actions, very careful. This is not a joke. Do not trust DFS, they do not care about what is best for your family, and right now, you are fighting for your family, even if it does not appear that way.

Also, right now when dealing with the school and with DFS, do not get angry, keep very calm and level-headed. Your every action is also being evaluated, and if you get angry and/or loose your temper you loose the whole game. Be firm in your decisions, and be cooperative, but every decision needs to constantly have your sons best interest, such as an extremely highly qualified psychiatrist, at heart. Measure every thing you do or say against what a wealthy CEO of a large multinational cooperation would do. That type of cooperative forcefulness is what is required to win. They want to interview your son, sure you would be happy to allow such a thing, so long as your sons advocate is present!

You may need a loan, so be thinking of where you can borrow money from.

This is the best advice I can offer you.

Move to a country where they don't **** around with your liberties?

I have kids mate and I dread to hear something like that one day. Kids are kids, they live in a world of innocence but we adults seem hell bent on ruining that and corrupting one of the last few sacred things in this world - childhood....oh wait we already raped that in a TSA checkpoint!

reply to post by coop039


This is nuts! When i was in primary school, i used to get upto all sorts of things like this! I was a curious child and got into trouble many times for what would be called sexual harassment, IF i was of an age where i understood what was wrong and right! To charge a 7 year old child with sexual harassment is bloody disgusting! They are kids, its what they do!! It's not like your son thought "oooh im gonna grab this girls arse and have a right good feel.." Kids brains just dont work like that! I am sorry to hear about your ordeal, what a messed up world we live in!!

Originally posted by Jameela

Originally posted by coop039

What was his crime? He grabbed her pants (in the back) and pulled them up because "her butt crack was showing and it was disgusting". Now Im not the type who thinks his child can do no wrong, I know my little boy is not always the angel I want him to be, but to call this sexual harassment is just plain nuts.

Any adivce on how to deal with the school and DFS with this would be appreciated.

Thank you ATS.

edit on 25-4-2012 by coop039 because: (no reason given)

I have not read the entire thread, but from what I read of the first page of this thread no one is giving you any decent advice, just their opinion of what happened. Therefore I will offer some advice.

You do NOT want a state paid Psychiatrist. Find a good one, and even if you have to get a loan somehow to pay for it you will need an excellent psychiatrist who will evaluate your son properly. If you refuse an evaluation they will take your son away from you, so find a really good one, and you pay for it.

A good doctor will state that the child was being a normal child, and that there is nothing psychologically wrong with him. But you will not get such a decree from a state doctor, they will say your child has problems so they can get the state to pay them more when they force your son to go back for more office visits, and they will put your son on medication... I insist, a very good highly paid psychiatrist is what you must have.

But do not worry you will not have to take your child more than once or twice maximum. But since DFS has already said they want your child evaluated do this as soon as humanly possible, then you look like a cooperative and concerned parent. Any time pass and they will take your child, with or without your consent, to a state doctor. So be quick.

In order to deal with the school, after your child has been evaluated and deemed 'normal' then you can fight the school concerning possible expulsion.

Get an advocate if you need, to argue the case for your son, he was unjustly accused for nothing more than being a normal child. Sometimes you can get an advocate for free, and in this case depending on what DFS is doing you may actually need one, so look into what you can find in this area as cheaply as possible. Many will take your case based on income.

Be very careful with every of your actions, very careful. This is not a joke. Do not trust DFS, they do not care about what is best for your family, and right now, you are fighting for your family, even if it does not appear that way.

edit on 26-4-2012 by Jameela because: (no reason given)

Does anyone else think this is #ing crazy that the kid has to see a therapist for this behavior?

Step 2: they will medicate him

When he goes crazy and mass kills a bunch of people when hes in his early 20s reference this thread.

As a current Missouri administrator, I would need to know more details about the incident. Prior to any school disciplinary measure, we must afford all students involved their due process and procure a statement from them concerning the incident. Those statements, in addition to any other eyewitness statements, help lead me to determine if a school board of education code of conduct policy was in fact violated. Many districts have prescribed disciplinary responses per these code of conduct violations.

You have only provided about 2 sentences concerning the details of this incident and included no other statements from the victim or school building.

If such behaviors have been occurring regularly and the school is aware of such ongoing incidents, then "harassment" or "bullying" can certainly be an appropriate code of conduct violation. Because of the physical proximity to the victim's body, if these incident has been ongoing, it is in fact "sexual harassment."

In one such Missouri school district, sexual harassment is defined as:
"Unwelcome physical contact of a sexual nature or that is based on gender, race, color, religion, sex, national origin, ancestry, disability or any other characteristic protected by law. Examples include, but are not limited to, touching or fondling of the genital areas, breasts or undergarments, regardless of whether the touching occurred through or under clothing; or pushing or fighting based on protected characteristics."

I have no comment on the potential DFS investigation against your and/or the need for an "immediate psych evaluation." There are too many factors outside this lone incident that would have to spurred that. As such, none of us here are qualified to speak of those merits.

Just wanted to provide my perspective from a Missouri school administration standpoint. I have no judgement against your child or the school district. My post is simply based upon my experience and understanding of Missouri school administration, policies, and procedures.

Originally posted by coop039
I read all these crazy stories about things that happen in schools and think there is no way it can really be that bad. Let me tell, IT IS.

My 7 year old son was suspended yesterday, I got a letter from the school stating it was for "Sexual Harassment". Also as a result, there is a real possibility he may be expelled depending on what the little girls parents decide. Also, I am now under investigation from DFS, and have been told told I need to have a phych eval done on my son ASAP.

What was his crime? He grabbed her pants (in the back) and pulled them up because "her butt crack was showing and it was disgusting". Now Im not the type who thinks his child can do no wrong, I know my little boy is not always the angel I want him to be, but to call this sexual harassment is just plain nuts.

Any adivce on how to deal with the school and DFS with this would be appreciated.

Thank you ATS.

edit on 25-4-2012 by coop039 because: (no reason given)

I had my dealings with DFS aka CPS last fall. I will give you some advice.

1. Be yourself.
2. You have nothing to hide.
3. You have done nothing wrong nor has your little boy.
4. Speak with DFS calmly and intelligently. Do NOT argue, do NOT go nuts. This is what they are looking for and believe me if you act up they will do whatever they want.

You want to know what my daughter's "crime" was? We live next door to a preschool, the fence line divides the property. She has been going over for years to talk to the kids when they are out playing. The teachers kept telling me to keep MY daughter from OUR fence line but I basically said NO I won't because there is nothing wrong in what she is doing.

One day my daughter runs outside to see a friend over there, and ran out without her jacket on. One of the teachers reported me to CPS right after that...... claiming I did not dress my child warm enough AND that I allow my child to run the neighborhood unsupervised.

That was our crime.

The first thing that happened was, my husband went to the CPS office to speak in person.
Then they came for a home interview. They sent two social workers. They talked to all of us at once.
Then they scheduled separate interviews with me, my husband, and daughter.... in our home in different rooms.

Was I humiliated? Yes. Was I angry about this? Yes.

But I cooperated and spoke with them and acted calmly.

In the end, CPS told me and my husband that they were sorry to bother us, that they have to act on reports, and that they saw nothing wrong in our home. One of the social workers even admitted to me that the person that reported was "being ridiculous". Case closed.

In the end, they found nothing, because I didn't go nuts like some people do when DFS steps into their lives, and they saw that our family was fine. Don't go nuts, because if you do, you'll regret it and things will get worse. I'm sorry but for those who say to fight them, you can't. You CAN NOT fight these people.

Good luck to you.

reply to post by coop039


I completely understand your frustration. Years back when my 11-year-old was just starting kindergarten my 16-year-old was in 5th grade. I told them as sisters they have to stick together and stick up for each other. They were holding hands waiting in line to go into the school. A teachers aid told them they could not hold hands, my oldest being high spirited like I taught her told them no because her sister was scared. She was suspended, the school called me to come pick her up...I refused. I told them that being a no-contact school does not mean that they are not allowed to comfort each other. They kept trying to push the day to the next but I kept taking her to school and eventually had to have a "talk" with a group of staff. In the end the administrator sided with me.

However my 11-year-old was suspended for popping a females bra but sexual harassment never came up perhaps because she is also female.

I would argue that if the school is not willing to enforce a dress code that keeps everyone's bits and pieces covered than parents should not be held responsible for the schools mixed signals. Your son doing that shows that he understands that people are not supposed to run around with their "cracks" hanging out. You raised him well to notice.

Good luck.

Originally posted by UdderlyInsane
my 16-year-old was in 5th grade.

Do I have glaucoma, or did you actually type that you had a 16 year old in 5th grade?

Does anyone else think this is #ing crazy that the kid has to see a therapist for this behavior?

Step 2: they will medicate him

Oh, it's crazy alright, but she has to cooperate. She should step forward and get her own therapist. The state is going to force her son to be given an evaluation whether she likes it or not. If this were my son, I'd pull him completely out of public school and start home school immediately and for good. We do not use the public school system because there are too many twisted thinking people claiming to be educators in them.

Originally posted by Xaphan
Do I have glaucoma, or did you actually type that you had a 16 year old in 5th grade?

Think the key words were

Years back

It's so absurd... but here's the problem. Even if you pull your kid out and home-school or send to a private school you are STILL PAYING taxes to support the broken public school system. Something has to be done.

reply to post by UdderlyInsane

Pfft... "No-contact schools".

That's a good way to make sure a kid grows up emotionally unstable and anti-social. Maybe that's the way the system wants it...

What's next? "No-verbal communication schools"?