My 7 year old suspened for "sexual harassment"

I would suggest to look into if your son had any previous sexual hands on touching before jumping the gun. Was this the only incident? If it was, this would be drastic and way out of line. A veteran teacher would at least take the boy aside and explain to him why touching a girl in a particular manner is inappropriate behavior. Having said that, if a girl is extremely upset about a particular incident, the teacher would have no other choice but to report the incident to his or her supervisor. Considering the age, it could have been the boy didn't know any better or maybe he saw something on TV that made him feel it was ok to do such a thing.

Sometimes teachers don't document observations as well as they should. It could be your son has been observed previously with inappropriate touching and this incident was the one that broke the camel's back. Most teacher's do have desk top or lap top computers. Documenting observed behavior is quite simple now just by creating a file on each student in Word and entering the date and a quick observation statement.

I would suggest to ask the teacher who wrote the referral if your son has ever been observed sexually touching girls before this incident. If he hasn't, and there hasn't been previous documentation of other incidents, I would think the school wouldn't be justified in asking for an evaluation.

Originally posted by Klassified
reply to post by coop039

 

I wish you the best of luck. DCFS, CPS, are very unethical and underhanded. Never forget that for a moment.

DCFS and CPS once served a necessary purpose but it seems they are running amok.
I've seen and heard of countless bad parents that don't have their children taken away, and good parents who get screwed.

I can't remember the state now, but I found the article through ATS I believe.
CPS in one state actually took away the children of the legal team that defeated CPS in court on behalf of a good family.
No cause, their power is so vast in some states they can ruin lives first, and pass judgement second with no questions asked ever.

There are good CPS people I have met them, they just seem to be fewer and further apart.

Hey Op,

Were you notified in writing?

I would love to see this document with the proper redactions.

And if you were not informed in writing....I would ask for it.

This is really hard to believe. Could you give us a region?

I am not doubting your story....

It's just...It has been "Hoax Central" around here lately.

Well it's hard to say because kids DO bull# their parents and depend on the parent's trust. So if it were me, I would want to speak to everyone involved before I decided what my son did and did not do. But even IF he was trying to feel her up - they're SEVEN! Calling that sexual harassment is no less than depressing and over the top. People simply LOVE to claim sexual harassment at the slightest opportunity. They also like to see it where it doesn't exist, which proves it's them that has the problem most of the time. It's them that are obsessed with sex.

Originally posted by petrus4

Originally posted by Furbs
It wasn't your son's responsibility to remedy the situation, and it was certainly a breach of the little girl's rights to be touched by your son in any way she did not wish to be touched.

The school doesn't need to account for your son's age, that is for the authorities to deal with. They reported the incident, which was their obligation under existing precedent. Said authorities have decided that the action requires further investigation.

Teach your child to keep his hands to himself in the future.

I really don't know how to respond, when I read posts like this. The first thing that I generally have to do, is count to ten, take several deep breaths, and remind myself not to feel violent towards the poster.

Seriously...someone help me, here. How do we communicate with someone who expresses this type of opinion? Is there honestly any way to reach people who are so imbued with the "state security and safety at any cost," mentality?

Safety at any cost?

Are you serious?

Taking a single offender out of a class of dozens of children is now 'safety at all costs'?

Now that you have had your emotional response, care to chime in with an analytical one?

We live in a society that promotes sex like its candy, and kids arent oblivous to it. My six yer old daughter came home from school not long ago not wanting to go back. We asked and asked but she wouldnt say why until just a few days ago. Apparently a little boy in her class has a crush on her and frequently tells her about how hes going to marry her and then kiss her private parts. It made her uncomfortable enough to not want to return, despite loving school beforehand. We notified the teacher and will leave it at that because, after all, kids are kids. But if you wonder why we have these issues cropping up, IMHO, its because of the ever inceasingly perverted society we live in.

In your case OP, I think the actions being taken are extreme and its a tragedy that common sense has all but died, but the ignorance of certain parents today not monitoring what their children watch or listen to has led us into an age that sexual harassment is even considered in situations such as these.

It's a shame. I agree with the previous posters, homeschool your kids.

reply to post by smyleegrl

Since you've decided the majority of teachers are incompetent imbeciles, perhaps you should consider a career in education. Share your expertise with educators.

Make a difference. Or I guess you can continue to insult those who truly care and are dedicating their lives to working with children.

Odd, the parents who pay me good money to tutor their children actually think I do make a difference. So do the kids. I have never had any interest or desire to teach at all. My tutoring happened quite accidentally. It began with me helping a few neighborhood kids (I suppose in the beginning I did volunteer) and because my efforts were demonstrably working the parents of these kids not only pleaded that I tutor their kids for pay, they referred me to several other parents. If I didn't need the money, I wouldn't do it. Not out of spite or anything other than there are many other things in life I want to do to make a difference.

However, in this thread, yours or my beliefs on teaching or the sate of teachers is only relevant in that school officials are using quite dubious methods to handle little boy behavior. Because of the way too many political incidents of public school administrators and teachers using their position to coerce, extort and generally threaten parents with bully government agencies, homeschooling has become more popular with parents. This is what compelled you to reply to me to begin with, over homeschooling. I would be more inclined to consider your arguments about "qualified" teachers if that was all they did, teach. Instead, we've got bullies posing as teachers and school administrators gleefully upsetting family dynamics, while on an average, American kids are graduating - if they graduate at all - with poor critical thinking skills and comparatively much lower academic scores than other countries.

Originally posted by pheonix358

Originally posted by Helmkat
Would you tolerate such behavoir from an adult that you or your child did not know?

No you would not.

Your son should know not to touch -anyone-without their permission.

We teach our children all the time to be wary of such advances.

If your son reached in the girls pants and pulled them up, well, there you go, n'uff said.

As to it being "sexual", by virtue of being Human we are sexual from the moment we grow in the womb. He might not understand what he did, but any adult should.

edit on 25-4-2012 by Helmkat because: (no reason given)

I'll tell you what I think is suspect in the above post: "We teach our children all the time to be wary of such advances." If that doesn't set children up to be paranoid, delusional and end up seeing sexual harassment where it isn't, I don't know what will.

Originally posted by Furbs
Taking a single offender out of a class of dozens of children is now 'safety at all costs'?

Now that you have had your emotional response, care to chime in with an analytical one?

Analytically, I agree with the other posters who have advocated homeschooling as an answer. Truthfully, I've always tended to believe that where a child's education is concerned, homeschooling is the answer, regardless of the question.

This might seem simplistic, but my own experience with the education system implied overwhelmingly to me, that it is not concerned with education, to anywhere near the degree that it is concerned with penal reform.



If I was going to have children, my own approach would be a classical education via homeschooling, at least up until the tertiary level; which emphasis on the Great Books, in a manner similar to St John's College.

The Lost Tools of Learning by Dorothy Sayers. This is an essay on classical education, and the difference between it and the current form.

reply to post by coop039

I would do two things. First, find a really good lawyer who is sympathetic and understands reality. Second, i'd either home school or select a good private school.

One other thing I'd like to say is that in spite of what anyone says teachers are very well paid compared to the majority of us. Think about it. They work some 9 months a year and have more time away from the job during those 9 months that it's unbelievable. Simply look at the total number of hours you and I work each year: 40 hours (yeah, like that happens for exempt employees), providing a potential total of 2080 hours per year. Then, look at the average teacher in public schools: roughly 185 days per school year providing a potential total of 1480 hours per year. And, they want to bring home as much as any other professional? 600 hours less per year is far beyond what any private employer could throw away and still pay full annual wages and full benefits. Besides, almost no private employer would even approach the benefits such municipal employees receive.

What needs to happen is GET RID of all levels of government unions.
Sue the district and take them for every penney you can get.

Originally posted by LastProphet527
reply to post by coop039

 

What in the world are you teaching your child at home MR.!

You just can’t do certain things in front of your son like that; you do know that kids mimic what they see and they do what they think is right. It’s a shame kids have to get in trouble do to their parents indiscretions of what they show or do around there kids.

i just dont believe this !
Now the child is in trouble because of you...i will pray,not for you,but for your child.

Certain butts are simply disgusting and should never be shown in public.

And where did you get the idea the kid learned pulling up pants to cover a disgusting butt was taught by the child's father?

Did I miss something?

reply to post by coop039


stories like this are the reason my wife and I have decided not to have children..

Originally posted by LadyJae
Poor little ones. They aren't allowed to be children anymore.

Perhaps the best defense is a good offense. It would seem your son was defending himself against a sexual assault by the young girl.

So very, very sad

I think that if you use this, all charges will be dropped to be honest. The other child was exposing all the other children, not to mention the boy in question. The girl, to me, would be the one under question of suspension. It is outrageous that they are trying to charge your son like this. No child that age, unless they actually touch another child sexually, shows private area, or offers "favors", should not be expelled, but should be required to get mental help. This is precisely why I am going to home school my daughter. I am sorry that this has happened, but you have our support if you need it.

reply to post by coop039


SEXUAL HARRASSMENT??? it's just kid's play for goodness sake!!! young girl's obviously making a big deal out of nothing too make it look like the boy likes her...when he obviously doesn't...that's harrassment!!! go tell your boy hit her with egg's or something...if she grows up believing that's sexual harassment...what amount of poor guy's in the future will end up in jail before the judges realise she's a nutter.
this is a form of bullying performed by females,and theyre getting younger by the minute!!!
it happened too my poor michael aged 7 ,i then told my 6 year old daughter too keep an eye on her brother,sad that i had too depend on a younger child too defend the older "BOY",so much for girls being weaker than boys...well not at that age!,the next day,the girl approached my son in front of the whole school,and started "PUSHING HIM AROUND!!!",saying he fancied her,when he said he didn't,she called him a pervert!!!,a #ing 7 year old girl???,how dare she call my innocent little boy a name like that!!! he didnt know what that meant till the whole school started chanting it alongside that stupid girl! where they get this #,i don't know!,my son came home in tears 4 hours early and told me what happened,and so did my mellisa,i told him,if this happens again,do what you want too do,i wont punish you,"or" you Melissa,the next day,she done it again,so my Melissa beat the #ing crap out of her,and my boy finished her with a whole box off eggs,the girl never bullied him again,the parents came too my door,and i warned them,if they,or their daughter,ever accused my son of anything of the sort again,they would regret it,and i told them i was proud of my wonderful children.and the fact my children were sticking up for themselves,especially against a "perverted" deranged little girl who shouldnt even know what sex is!!! and i told the parents...it must be your fault she says these sorts of things!!! what kind of parents are you??? or is it you who said these things??? cos if i find out it was "you" who told that thing you call a girl too say that...youll be sorry...
my son and daughter have never been bullied since,my son and daughter still joke about it,but i can still see in my sons face whenever the word pervert is said by melissa,that it hurt him deeply...i hate them for that.behaviour like that toward such an innocent young boy is what you "SHOULD CALL" perverted...you should kick the # out of the parents for putting words like that into that girls mind...its #ing disgusting!!!
K,LOL...big welcome too my auntie starzy,or patricia it is too you lot...i told her about this story,and she almost had a fit,so i let her in just once too have her say...personally,i agree!!! what do you think>eggs....hahahaha!!!
(im still trying too calm her down,she cant stand this stuff,damn you ats!!! )

reply to post by karen61057

Is anyone here thinking what this little girl experienced? A boy just comes up to her and yanks at her pants? Yeah, try that with me and see what you get.

You are an adult - they're 7 for crying out loud

when I was about 7 or 8, while out on the playground - I had my pants pulled down by another boy the same age as me

I believe the technical term is 'pantsed' :-)

I punched him

nobody had to go to jail and we both lived to tell the tale

seriously?

Originally posted by billiam

In your case OP, I think the actions being taken are extreme and its a tragedy that common sense has all but died, but the ignorance of certain parents today not monitoring what their children watch or listen to has led us into an age that sexual harassment is even considered in situations such as these.

I do agree with you that much of what is going wrong with society is because of inattentive parents.
I don't think it can be blamed on the content of what the children watch, or listen to.

For me, I was allowed to watch R rated movies from the time I was 5, any movie I wanted.
Ma, and when I got a step dad, Pa would randomly check what I was watching and make sure I knew it was fiction, not real.

I knew what I was watching was fiction, and not okay to emulate in real life.
I also knew I wouldn't be able to sit down for at least a week if I tried to pull any of the stuff I saw in the movies.

It's easy to blame society, and the media, but in the end the bulk of the responsibility rests on the parents to sit down and educate their children.
Sit down and explain right from wrong.

I do think that the OPs child might be being railroaded.
Should he have touched another student, no, but it's not sexual harassment.
It's a kid who should have been given detention, sent home with a note and whatever punishment the parents deem necessary done as well.
End of story.

If this kid, or others are repeat offenders that's a different story.

Oh and yeah I was far far from an angel, I did all the fun stuff, I just did it where only me and my friends would get hurt.
That's part of growing up, messing up occasionally getting caught and getting your butt tanned.

Originally posted by poet1b
reply to post by LastProphet527

 

From my understanding, the clergy is firmly in favor of exposed grade school butt crack.

Apparently many people on this thread are for it as well, being that they are eager to condemn the boy, but only a few of us have brought up that the girl shouldn't be wearing pants that show her butt crack, and especially not to school.

It is was a boy showing his butt crack, they would have probably given the girl an award for pulling up his pants, and then water boarded the boy. Sexism has gone so far in this country, with discrimination against males, that we have become the opposite of the Taliban, and not in a good way.

Actually we do worse, we are now labeling 7 yr olds as sex offenders.

edit on 25-4-2012 by poet1b because: add last line

EXACTLY.

reply to post by coop039


My son (at the time in kindergarten) about 4 yrs. ago got sent home for3 days because he had a army figure in his pocket that had a knife in his hand. No chance for his mother or I to try to explain it whatsoever. Innocent mistake.....just forgot it was in his pocket.

reply to post by WeRpeons


Most excellent and judicious reply!

I hope the father follows what you recommend.

Originally posted by LilDudeissocool

Originally posted by LastProphet527
reply to post by coop039

 

What in the world are you teaching your child at home MR.!

You just can’t do certain things in front of your son like that; you do know that kids mimic what they see and they do what they think is right. It’s a shame kids have to get in trouble do to their parents indiscretions of what they show or do around there kids.

i just dont believe this !
Now the child is in trouble because of you...i will pray,not for you,but for your child.

Certain butts are simply disgusting

and should never be shown in public.

And where did you get the idea the kid learned pulling up pants to cover a disgusting butt was taught by the child's father?

Did I miss something?

You missed the point that children lie and when they get in trouble, they lie even worst. Who knows what really happened. Who am I suppose to believe, the father or the son...loll, are you serious!
I think the school did an excellent job, I also think its bigger than what the op is telling us.