Actually, when you see rude people, you should NOT chill out. Why? Because you're letting them get away with it, which is why they do it. No one holds them accountable for their rude actions. It is a symptom of a larger problem that our society has - LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY.

Certain people will crap on other people if they can get away with it. Once upon a time they couldn't. Not any more. No one cares. No one says anything. People are rude, they steal, they cheat, they do it because they know no one will hold them accountable.

People need to grow a pair and hold others accountable for their actions. See something, say something - to the offender. Don't bother calling TSA.

It's really your vulnerability that makes you angry. You feel used, violated, or disrespected. So it's really your vulnerability and the reaction to that vulnerability that get's you bent out of shape and has less to do with the with what the other person did or does.

Originally posted by cashvillian
It's really your vulnerability that makes you angry. You feel used, violated, or disrespected. So it's really your vulnerability and the reaction to that vulnerability that get's you bent out of shape and has less to do with the with what the other person did or does.

Wrong. People should not be agreeable to being used, violated or disrespected, period. If you think that behavior is acceptable, then you need help.

Originally posted by AwakeinNM

Originally posted by cashvillian
It's really your vulnerability that makes you angry. You feel used, violated, or disrespected. So it's really your vulnerability and the reaction to that vulnerability that get's you bent out of shape and has less to do with the with what the other person did or does.

Wrong. People should not be agreeable to being used, violated or disrespected, period. If you think that behavior is acceptable, then you need help.

Who said anything about being agreeable. If you feel violated or disrespected then you've put yourself in the vunerable postion to be violated or disrespected. And that's not just physically but mentally as well. If you're all mad and up in arms because somebody's rude then that's your mental weaknesss not theirs. I've worked with the public for going on 20 years and the way the public can act would have the average person who hasn't dealt in a public setting blowing their top but I'm too mentally strong give them the type of importance they're wanting by hollering and screaming. The biggest mistake is giving people you usually don't know way too much importance in your life by giving them the power to effect your emotions.

You really wanna know why rudness peeve's us so much?

It's all about respect and pecking order.
Rudeness is a sign that some one else does not consider you viable or a threat in any way.

It's a slap in the face.

If you were in prison it would be akin to assuming that you are a sex toy.
Your life and existence means nothing to a rude person.

This is why it is hard wired into most people to be offended by rudeness.

EDIT: in reply to other people, we really are not THAT evolved, we are still animals with base instincts, deal with it or become a hermit.

Originally posted by cashvillian

Originally posted by AwakeinNM

Originally posted by cashvillian
It's really your vulnerability that makes you angry. You feel used, violated, or disrespected. So it's really your vulnerability and the reaction to that vulnerability that get's you bent out of shape and has less to do with the with what the other person did or does.

Wrong. People should not be agreeable to being used, violated or disrespected, period. If you think that behavior is acceptable, then you need help.

Who said anything about being agreeable. If you feel violated or disrespected then you've put yourself in the vunerable postion to be violated or disrespected. And that's not just physically but mentally as well. If you're all mad and up in arms because somebody's rude then that's your mental weaknesss not theirs. I've worked with the public for going on 20 years and the way the public can act would have the average person who hasn't dealt in a public setting blowing their top but I'm too mentally strong give them the type of importance they're wanting by hollering and screaming. The biggest mistake is giving people you usually don't know way too much importance in your life by giving them the power to effect your emotions.

Let's use your explanation in another scenario, but let's replace a phrase with another word:

"If you feel raped then you've put yourself in the vunerable postion to be raped."

Do you see the flaw in your argument? You suggest that when a woman is raped, it is because she is mentally weak? How is it different from being violated any other way?

You need your friggin head examined.

Originally posted by AwakeinNM

Originally posted by cashvillian

Originally posted by AwakeinNM

Originally posted by cashvillian
It's really your vulnerability that makes you angry. You feel used, violated, or disrespected. So it's really your vulnerability and the reaction to that vulnerability that get's you bent out of shape and has less to do with the with what the other person did or does.

Wrong. People should not be agreeable to being used, violated or disrespected, period. If you think that behavior is acceptable, then you need help.

Who said anything about being agreeable. If you feel violated or disrespected then you've put yourself in the vunerable postion to be violated or disrespected. And that's not just physically but mentally as well. If you're all mad and up in arms because somebody's rude then that's your mental weaknesss not theirs. I've worked with the public for going on 20 years and the way the public can act would have the average person who hasn't dealt in a public setting blowing their top but I'm too mentally strong give them the type of importance they're wanting by hollering and screaming. The biggest mistake is giving people you usually don't know way too much importance in your life by giving them the power to effect your emotions.

Let's use your explanation in another scenario, but let's replace one word:

"If you feel raped then you've put yourself in the vunerable postion to be raped."

Do you see the flaw in your argument? You suggest that when a woman is raped, it is because she is mentally weak? How is it different from being violated any other way?

You need your friggin head examined.

Whooooaaa having someone be rude to you and having somebody rape you are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Someone physically assaulting you is the line. They may be rude and talk but physically contacting is where rudeness ends. Women and for the most part anybody including you knows not to walk down a back alley with little lighting in a skeevy part of town. You know why. Because then they would leave themselves highly vulnerable. Now thats your principle. Keep yourself as far from being vulnerable as possible and the less affect they can have upon you.

Originally posted by AwakeinNM
Actually, when you see rude people, you should NOT chill out. Why? Because you're letting them get away with it, which is why they do it. No one holds them accountable for their rude actions. It is a symptom of a larger problem that our society has - LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY.

Certain people will crap on other people if they can get away with it. Once upon a time they couldn't. Not any more. No one cares. No one says anything. People are rude, they steal, they cheat, they do it because they know no one will hold them accountable.

People need to grow a pair and hold others accountable for their actions. See something, say something - to the offender. Don't bother calling TSA.

AwakeinNM
Anger is a natural response to feeling attacked, injured or violated. It's part of being human.. When something makes you angry, you feel excitement in your body and emotions. Your glands are pumping your blood full of the hormone adrenalin, preparing for fight or flight. You are full of energy, alert, ready for action for humans it's energy seeking expression.

I think a certain amount certain of anger is necessary to our survival..we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, I think its social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

I think its best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

Anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself.

Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger ive seen this right here on ATS in many threads..

Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.Life can be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you.peace,sugarcookie1

Rudeness,it is coming from a person who is only thinking of themselves and no one else.

Today,I rescued a woman from an elevator and she cussed me out for the elevator breaking down.


It was all I could do to remain calm.

All I said was,are you ok and have a nice day and sorry for the inconvenience.
Obviously she was a claustrophobic,but really?

After awhile you become numb to the rudeness,or I have .
I don't care what others think anymore,and if it infringes on my personal physical space or my property or family, thats another matter.

Karma works well from my experience.
I just sit back and smile.

Originally posted by Asktheanimals
People taking responsibility for their own emotional states?
Heresy! Blasphemy!
Great idea too.
I wish more people would take responsibility for everything in their lives.
The world would be a much better place but it would certainly disenfranchise a great many who make their living by convincing others things are always someone else's fault.

I know some people who cannot let go of their anger and refuse to see that they could change how they feel if they bothered to assert control.
It's sad really because it's disempowering when others can make you "jump" at their whim.

Asktheanimals
i wrote this to another member on this thread and i stand behind it 100 % and your right its disempowering when others can make you "jump" at their whim" !


Anger is a natural response to feeling attacked, injured or violated. It's part of being human.. When something makes you angry, you feel excitement in your body and emotions. Your glands are pumping your blood full of the hormone adrenalin, preparing for fight or flight. You are full of energy, alert, ready for action for humans it's energy seeking expression.

I think a certain amount certain of anger is necessary to our survival..we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, I think its social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

I think its best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

Anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself.

Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger ive seen this right here on ATS in many threads..

Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.Life can be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you.peace,sugarcookie1

Originally posted by kdog1982
Rudeness,it is coming from a person who is only thinking of themselves and no one else.

Today,I rescued a woman from an elevator and she cussed me out for the elevator breaking down.


It was all I could do to remain calm.

All I said was,are you ok and have a nice day and sorry for the inconvenience.
Obviously she was a claustrophobic,but really?

After awhile you become numb to the rudeness,or I have .
I don't care what others think anymore,and if it infringes on my personal physical space or my property or family, thats another matter.

Karma works well from my experience.
I just sit back and smile.

kdog,
Your right rudeness,it is coming from a person who is only thinking of themselves and no one else..
Your woman from an elevator is a classic case of rudeness,She immediately thought you were the reason for the breakdown ..Were was the logic? there was none she just popped off with anger without thinking..
And you did right by staying calm you worked it out so the problem didn't escalate out of control..
And your right about karma ..We receive what we give. That all our actions reflect back upon us.What comes around goes around..
thanks for replying to my post..peace,sugarcookie1

Well I just went to the casino today and I was standing in one of the aisles watching someone before I left, some old man comes from behind me and walks right into me and says you know this is a walkway right? I said yeah and I'm sorry, he had some snide remark then I said I'm sorry louder in case he didn't hear me..... Then he says I don't f***ing care if you're sorry! Since he had an attitude about him I said ya know what F you!!!!! Then he says he's going to get a hammer and bash me in the head with it when he comes back, talk about being rude lol...