posted on Apr, 24 2012 @ 09:17 PM
10) You watch some re-runs of Gilmore Girls, and think to yourself, that their family is definitely
in the Illuminati. The grandfather went to Yale, Rory goes to Yale. their family immigrated on
the Mayflower. The grandparents are East Coast elite. Gilmore Girls is ruined!
9) You can't stand to look at magazines or watch the news on television, otherwise you will start
to feel as though your life has become the movie They Live. Ads for hair gel turn sinister,
menacing commercials command, "OBEY."
8) On your birthday, when you blew out the candles on your birthday cake, you wished for ninjas.
7) A band you like is not famous, and you find yourself hoping they will never be successful enough
to attract attention of the Hollywood elites. Otherwise they will either disappear from the
music business, or worse, they will start making videos with Lady Gaga.
6) After reading about mind control slaves and all of the little symbols, and things associated
with them, you scrutinize your life. You never have "missing time," you don't sleep with your
clothes on, you don't eat McDonald's french fries, and you are not covered in scars so you are
probably safe. But you can never wear your beautiful scarf with monarch butterflies on it ever
5) You've rented Eyes Wide Shut too many times, and your spouse is starting to wonder if you are a
weirdo sex pervert.
4) You never let the gas tank on your car get below halfway, and when you start to feel nervous
about something, you re-pack your grab-n-go-bag. Just for kicks, you sometimes sing "Somebody's
Watching Me," by Rockwell into your cell phone or any other device you think might be bugged.
3) You secretly start learning Mandarin from a podcast, just in case.
2) You start watching Ancient Aliens on the history channel. Boring! You fall asleep, but only
because you already knew everything they said. Alien shows written for normal people are a
snooze. The Hitler episode didn't even mention the Bell experiment.
1) On your typical day off work, you check the internet for doom. No doom? You sigh with relief,
inventory your stockpile, and recheck the internet for doom. Possible doom? You scour the
internet for corroboration, and then re-pack your grab-n-go bag... Better go ahead and re-check
the internet for doom.