reply to post by kdog1982
I have an abusive background at the hands of an alcoholic father up until the age of 6, went into foster care for 3 years, after which I was adopted
at the age of 9 by two lesbian women. I was great up until...11 years old?
Somehow, everything fell apart from there, leading up to three different institutions before I learned to be myself. Had a socially awkward high
school life, moved out (much to my great enjoyment) and bombed college, before heading out into the wild to find out what life was like behind the
smoke and mirrors illusion of society.
That's the background of my story. I admit, I didn't make a lot of great decisions...looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way.
So, on to this wizard guy (forgot the username). Your concern is that after finally coming of age, you have discovered that you really haven't gone
far with your life.
Repeating what I said before: positive attitude makes a difference. And even when you're the sensitive type (pfft. I'm sensitive and I'm making a
difference for myself...and coming here to ATS with my midlife [early-life] crisis would just underline my failures) you can still have a life.
First of all, get a job. Go out, say hi to somebody, mention that you are looking for employment, tell them what you're good at, ask them to get the
word out. Lots of connections and friends = lots of ground covered. If you want to make it easier, go get a GED (it's surprisingly easy) and then go
out and apply for jobs, and talk to people.
Dogs...that's a personal problem. The lights too. If you haven't noticed, I haven't said anything about those up until now because, contrary to
popular belief, I'm not a complete douche and I understand some people have phobias and get uneasy around animals sometimes.
If you want to make a difference for yourself, make a list (as I said before) of all the things you don't like about yourself. Don't include the
physical or personality things...that's small stuff. People who are worth being around won't give a rat's hindquarters about that. Start with
employment, animal association, handling dark places, getting a diploma, etc. Make an outline of how to get past each thing. Make a plan for each one.
Pick one to start with, and if you feel brave, try doing two or three at a time. I guarantee you'll see yourself becoming better at life as you
What else...detachment from people. The world isn't so scary if you go up to someone and ask what book they're reading, or maybe try some poetry on
them, or just discuss the weather. Conversations happen very easily...I have them every day. I used to talk to no one at all, and now I talk to almost
everyone. I see people I know every day, and I ask how they're doing and what they've been up to. It's the easiest thing in the world...and people
like a guy who's sensitive. It's a "can I trust this guy?" thing.
There. I gave you the best advice I can give from a difficult life that is still ongoing...and as I said:
I wouldn't have it any other way.
I still say you should man up a little. That helps everything out.