posted on Apr, 22 2012 @ 11:49 PM
Since a kid, I have longed the return of something else, or someone. Peering up at the skies, always knowing that religion wasn't always what it's
said to be. Don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer in the creator. My mother, a loyal catholic, with her shrine and candles of Mary, Jesus, st.
Jude, angels. I have always wanted to see "them", having dreams of meeting extra-terrestrials that showed me what EVERYTHING is really about. A
feeling of ecstasy and dread at the same time. Just up until these last few years, I took up meditation. I don't know what it was, but just recently
i had woken up from a crazy night with friends, indulged in wine and marijuana. I haven't felt more lost but, i decided to get back on track. I drank
my herbalife protein shake and vitamins, still having some alcohol in my system. Having done all that, feeling weird, i had gone outside to bask in
the sun, mostly to sweat it out. That's when it hit me, I had this dizzy feeling in my head.
Walked right in to my room. I sat on my chair, facing east. Before i knew it, my mind was somewhere i have not gone before. I sat there for quite a
while before this "epiphany" happened, all i could think about was about my life, my family, this "planet", my neighbors(denizens), the media,
economy, other countries. Analyzing all these things, i started to feel super sad like i felt so stupid. I don't know what it was, it was a feeling
like i had let myself or everyone down. I had this feeling running from my lower stomach all the way up to my head, nose area. It was a sick feeling,
it felt as if i had taken mushrooms. I felt "up" there, looking "down" at everything from a nothingness perspective. I felt like i could DO
anything, move ANYTHING. Then i began to think about what happens after, everyone i know, I love them all so much and don't want to ever leave them.
Everything this conspiracy website has showed me about the world came to mind, aliens, ufo's, the loud horns in the air, these last few months and
the calamity upon the earth that's happened within that time and IS STILL happening. I felt like I understood it all, living and dying. All these
things just add to the rumor of an end times. I thought about it, and it brought me to tears. Just a few more months before everyone is on another
level of thinking, or consciousness. I then thought how will my parent see this, having just been working all their lives never thinking outside the
"box" like us, with the "new age" and metaphysical talk. How will they ever be able to cope with what is to come. I have been anticipating this
year for so long, thinking I was ready, but in the end i am far from ready. I think i am just going to drop all of this talk, for good. I will stop
smoking, i am just going to live these "last" moments of this consciousness at my hundred percent with my family. What ever happens, happens. What
ever level of thinking we enter, I am sure noone will be going off telling everyone they told them so that all of this would happen. Time to move on,
I know the kid within me atm will not be the same after this year.