The Laws Of Chuck Norris

Here are the laws of Chuck Norris, as follows. Enjoy

1. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
2. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
3. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because only Chuck Norris knows the element of surprise.
5. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
6. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
7. Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas.
8. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
9. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
10. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. It’s decendants today are known as giraffes.
11. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
12. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun. And won.
13. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
14. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Hungry Jack’s – And got one.
15. The original title for Alien Vs. Predator was Chuck Norris Vs. Alien & Predator. The film was cancelled shortly after preproduction. No one would pay fourteen dollars to see a film nine seconds long.

16. According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
17. There is no theory of evolution. Only a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
18. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem. It wouldn’t take crap from anyone.

19. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
20. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
21. Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.

22. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
23. The state of Texas is attempting to pass legislation making it illegal for Chuck Norris to punch or kick the ground, out of fear of earthquakes.

And yes, I know this has probably been posted here a thousand times, yadda yadda, but have another laugh on me before the world ends.... All else fails, it's all you have left.

This thread is approved by Chuck Norris.

You know, they wanted to name a bridge after Chuck Norris in Denmark.

But, they couldn't.

Because, no one crosses Chuck Norris.

vvv

reply to post by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep


I wonder if there are any more Chuck Norris laws. Have never heard that one before.

Have at it, Feel free to add to this list ATS

reply to post by 74Templar


There was a thread about Chuck Norris a few years back and they had some great ones. Here's the link chuck norris jokes

My favorite: Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

The Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris saw this thread and made it flag itself.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Thanks, I figured it had been done before, but hey, always good to dust off a classic, even if for a laugh.

Lost of new ones to add to the laws now. Cheers.

Originally posted by 74Templar
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

Thanks, I figured it had been done before, but hey, always good to dust off a classic, even if for a laugh.

Lost of new ones to add to the laws now. Cheers.

Oh, I hope you didn't think I was doing the "you should search first" nonsense.

I love Chuck Norris jokes. The more, the better!!!!!

reply to post by 74Templar


Oh my! You made my day! I laughed so hard at this! Thanks.............................