You people need to start believing in yourselves

reply to post by capob




As another example of the point.

A good point was just brought up here.
How many people do you know who are totally comfortable going to see a movie by themseves?
Wouldn't think a thing of it.

What about a bar?
What about a party?
What about a play?

A baseball game?

I not only would, I have.
and I do.

If you are not comfortable spending quality time with yourself in public then maybe you are ashamed to be seen with.......you.

My point is, it is easy to sit alone in your dark livingroom hacking away on a keyboard looking up conspiracy theories but that is a different kind of alone time....which I truely value btw.
But how do you feel in situations in which the social norm is to have a companion with you?
If you are uncomfortable going into a bar and having a drink all by yourself or to see a movie then I would wonder if you are uncomfortable with who you are.
I would also question your self esteem.

reply to post by Screwed


Indeed is is concerning the need for social acceptance that I see among so many people. Instead of "I'm good enough", it is "I'm good enough because I'm part of a group". While, this social acceptance does allow conformity and prevention of deviant behaviors, it also promotes group think and the death of critical thinking. Surely I would advocate time taking long walks and reflecting on matters instead of always busying yourself with trivialities like forums for social events. What deep thoughts have you come up with while in social groups? Though, I fear I am a little off topic.

You do bring up a good point that the inability to go alone to these places may stem from low self esteem. And, I would say, the solution is not to start with "I am valuable" but rather that "No one is terribly valuable" and "we are all just bumbling along looking for honey" and, consequently, "there is nothing that makes me a whole lot less valuable than anyone else". Of course, getting into cures for low self esteem could be a large subject, so I will quit here.

Originally posted by capob
reply to post by Screwed

 

You do bring up a good point that the inability to go alone to these places may stem from low self esteem. And, I would say, the solution is not to start with "I am valuable" but rather that "No one is terribly valuable"

Why do you consider devaluation a solution?

Originally posted by petrus4

Originally posted by capob
reply to post by Screwed

 

You do bring up a good point that the inability to go alone to these places may stem from low self esteem. And, I would say, the solution is not to start with "I am valuable" but rather that "No one is terribly valuable"

Why do you consider devaluation a solution?

If the problem is a lack of a sense of value i relation to others, then the two options are either to increase one's sense of one's value, or to decrease the value seen in others. And, the devaluation solutions is a response to what can occasionally be an overvaluation of other people. For instance, someone always thinking "what will they think if I do this or that". The question should be -> what does it matter what they think?

Originally posted by capob
If the problem is a lack of a sense of value i relation to others, then the two options are either to increase one's sense of one's value, or to decrease the value seen in others. And, the devaluation solutions is a response to what can occasionally be an overvaluation of other people. For instance, someone always thinking "what will they think if I do this or that". The question should be -> what does it matter what they think?

When you put it like that, it makes sense, yes.

You know this guy might be onto something.
I used to be a Bard got bored, changed jobs and became a Sensate of Sharess many, many, many moons ago.
Now I still sing in public occasionally, and last night languished sipping drinks in local titty bar temple.
Admittedly it's been a while since I fought a Harpy, last time I did that the landlord barred me.

Originally posted by Suspiria
You know this guy might be onto something.
I used to be a Bard got bored, changed jobs and became a Sensate of Sharess many, many, many moons ago.
Now I still sing in public occasionally, and last night languished sipping drinks in local titty bar temple.
Admittedly it's been a while since I fought a Harpy, last time I did that the landlord barred me.

LOL. Finding harpies to fight isn't difficult. Just go to your local library.

reply to post by petrus4


Why? They hardly have any books anymore. It's just full off tramps having a warm and people who can't afford their own computer. The harpies reside outside Yates and Weatherspoons usually.