A Balance of Fear and Love

Originally posted by greyer
I know what you mean, but the pain of love is there for a reason. People like to manipulate the minds and emotions of others because of this aspect. You are saying that you fear the emotions of love which hurt. The answer is to solve what love really is - coming together. You can learn more about love than to actually have love, having love is what brings peace. With peace there is no fear is being ourselves.

I feel many different types of love. Unfortunately for me, they are not all "good fits" for my current life.

Basically, one love causes pain about another love which causes pain about an additional love which causes pain about the first love. On and on it goes.

Having love does not bring me peace, it brings me pain.

I tried to block it out for seven years and felt nothing. Not peace... just Nothing.

I let it out again and I feel that peace of letting it exist as a whole, all types of love as one. But there is also significant pain in letting that love exist as a whole - I hurt others who love me by feeling and acknowledging all of the love I do feel.

If I try to ignore the pain, I again start to feel my love dimming down to Nothing.

Like I said, I do not feel love without feeling pain.

I guess this is just the nature of my existence.

reply to post by greyer

You know, Greyer, I've thought about it a little more.

I am afraid of being lost, drowning, in that pain.

I am finally at a point where I can realize when I am falling down that slope and catch myself from falling... But the fear of being lost again is still there.

I understand now that when I start to feel the pain more than the love, I must remind myself that the love does exist, and the reasons the love exists, and that calms my pain/fears.

I can then exist in love without being bothered by that fear. Because, though the fear exists, it is benign when it is matched with love.

So, I guess this is where I got the idea that Love and Fear must be equally balanced for one to find Peace.

reply to post by ottobot


subjectivity is u that keep repeating the same will out of ur mind without the least respecting that out u must justify it in realms of all facts, u cant keep rambling about nothing inventing to us how it is true for u, who r u to attract attention on his pretention of having opinions on what he feels, but mainly who r u that can say all his state of creating his mind

drop it, it is totally nonsense what u say

love is to outside superiority, so the illusion of becoming more objective
the opposite is to inside superiority, so the illusion of becoming more beyond urself free

u dont get what opposite even in cheapest use must represent, u can ramble in screams it wont change anything, noone will join u there, put ur theory in ur # and swallow it alone

cheapest use of opposites know that there is always two ways, bc constancy is the matter so if one side is constant there is always another side that become less, but in objective terms the two ways equal same
and when existence is objective, it means there is an objective way of all ways which is called truth

like if u keep going right way, u will b a wrong point of left way, as the point that keep going same way

repetition of smthg is not constant fact, any head know that constant is a free value of objective truth not smthg that any watever its size big or small decide

insisting to relate opposites for one reality is what the most stupid head wont ever do
that is why i told u that even satan wont dare sell such cheap ways of inciting everyone to b inferiors, it makes him sound inferior it cant do that, not bc he fears ur brave love

fear has nothing to do with love

love is to enjoy objective else

fear is to negative powers of else upon u

fear is right when u r meaning to destroy everyone in acting superior subjectively free, bc there u would know that else could mean same thing to u so u fear what else will to act its pretense sense of absolute superiority freedom upon u

but fear became a matter of fact of always abuse even though u didnt act nor meant to destroy anything

love is the illusion that u can realize positive objective facts
fear is the knowledge that u r realized as a relative subjective possession

u dont have the least level to mean relation of things, why dont u just talk about urself when u dont mean but that
how does it have to b the truth of everyone when obviously u r not someone constant clearly to urself

Originally posted by ottobot
reply to post by greyer

 

You know, Greyer, I've thought about it a little more.

I am afraid of being lost, drowning, in that pain.

I am finally at a point where I can realize when I am falling down that slope and catch myself from falling... But the fear of being lost again is still there.

I understand now that when I start to feel the pain more than the love, I must remind myself that the love does exist, and the reasons the love exists, and that calms my pain/fears.

I can then exist in love without being bothered by that fear. Because, though the fear exists, it is benign when it is matched with love.

So, I guess this is where I got the idea that Love and Fear must be equally balanced for one to find Peace.

u r totally wrong, u clearly r proving that all u care about is urself by using anything and everything

hate has nothing to do with fear

hate is negative superiority, so despise and rejections as inferior else
love is positive superiority, so value and attraction to superior else

i told u, truth is superiority
from its least fact being constancy so more always
and most reason being absolute freedom so up always

Originally posted by absolutely
u r totally wrong, u clearly r proving that all u care about is urself by using anything and everything

Explain, then, why I care enough about the feelings of others to exist in pain so they do not have to? I am not using anything and everything. I am using what I have.

hate has nothing to do with fear

OK, we will agree to disagree.

hate is negative superiority, so despise and rejections as inferior else
love is positive superiority, so value and attraction to superior else

Well, in that case, both love and hate are useless.

i told u, truth is superiority
from its least fact being constancy so more always
and most reason being absolute freedom so up always

I know, I agree, truth is best.

But I disagree in that truth always brings freedom.

Truth only brings absolute freedom if absolute freedom is possible.

Yes, I know you think absolute freedom is possible. But, like I said before, I am not sure that absolutes do exist.

Thank you for your tireless efforts to help me see the light.

Originally posted by ottobot
I am afraid of being lost, drowning, in that pain.

I am finally at a point where I can realize when I am falling down that slope and catch myself from falling... But the fear of being lost again is still there.

I understand now that when I start to feel the pain more than the love, I must remind myself that the love does exist, and the reasons the love exists, and that calms my pain/fears.

I can then exist in love without being bothered by that fear. Because, though the fear exists, it is benign when it is matched with love.

So, I guess this is where I got the idea that Love and Fear must be equally balanced for one to find Peace.

The world is full of creation, we spoke before when I thought that powers outside of myself were putting me into a situation as you are in. The only thing that aloud me to climb out of the living quarters was to face fear. In order to be happy in your soul you will have to attain love and not understand love, but we having taken the time to understand will have an opportunity to attain it. Looking back in my situation there was always opportunities but fear was the only thing keeping me back from making decisions.

On the scale there should not be balance, but the side of love outweighing fear like it is a large amount of gold being compared to a grain of sand.

reply to post by greyer


what u r meaning or describing is not fear nor love, it is the courage to act free in order to witness being real in plural realities even of urself
it is very crucial to not stay one still inventing extremes joints to stay constant still as one

when truth is, reality is everywhere and anytime even still when u catch reality fact in concept

everything and anything is clear, individuality is exclusively to reality of different but same things conscious

Originally posted by ottobot

Explain, then, why I care enough about the feelings of others to exist in pain so they do not have to? I am not using anything and everything. I am using what I have.

u r not aware or happy to take advantage of relative possible pretense, that u r inventing what others are thinking about their existence or feelings

dont thank me when i didnt mention giving u anything while im insulting u

what is that others feelings to exist in pain??? all brians look like turning their heads seeking if somebody else are meant or there?? who told u that/

first, very rare are the people that intellectualize like u constantly opinions about their thoughts

second, the least reality is the only fact absolutely there is no problem when least reality exist, that is why logically people like u do not exist since never real, so no pain
but when existing is real, the pain is never a feeling n not about its own existence, reality is exclusively objective relations of different constancies out of same things

Originally posted by absolutely
reply to post by greyer

 

what u r meaning or describing is not fear nor love

Oh yeah? ha ha ha. With me real is love.

Originally posted by absolutely
u r not aware or happy to take advantage of relative possible pretense, that u r inventing what others are thinking about their existence or feelings

Well, no, I know what they are feeling because they have told me so. And me existing in my complete state of love causes them pain, which causes me pain. But, if I did anything to move purely into love, they would then suffer. So, I live with pain so that they do not suffer.

dont thank me when i didnt mention giving u anything while im insulting u

Well, I'm not insulted, so it's not a big deal. Your posts give me a perspective I've never seen, so I welcome the criticism.

what is that others feelings to exist in pain??? all brians look like turning their heads seeking if somebody else are meant or there?? who told u that/

I don't know. It has always been this way for me - the pain of others causes me pain. My existence as myself causes pain for other people. It's ridiculous. Logically, to ease their pain I should cease to exist. But, I really do not wish to cease existence because I have a lot to learn. So, I exist in pain because I must in order to also exist in love.

first, very rare are the people that intellectualize like u constantly opinions about their thoughts

second, the least reality is the only fact absolutely there is no problem when least reality exist, that is why logically people like u do not exist since never real, so no pain
but when existing is real, the pain is never a feeling n not about its own existence, reality is exclusively objective relations of different constancies out of same things

But, then, what if pain is the constant? What if pain is existence?

If I do not exist, then why are you talking to me?

If I do not exist, then how do I think? How do I feel? How do I affect others?

If I do not exist, then I will not feel pain. But, I do feel pain. The pain is a result of me being the true, real version of me. I do not hide anything anymore. I do not lie anymore. I do not pretend any more. As a result, I feel emotional pain. Thus, I must exist, just not in your realm of understanding.

Originally posted by greyer
The world is full of creation, we spoke before when I thought that powers outside of myself were putting me into a situation as you are in. The only thing that aloud me to climb out of the living quarters was to face fear. In order to be happy in your soul you will have to attain love and not understand love, but we having taken the time to understand will have an opportunity to attain it. Looking back in my situation there was always opportunities but fear was the only thing keeping me back from making decisions.

On the scale there should not be balance, but the side of love outweighing fear like it is a large amount of gold being compared to a grain of sand.

I do face fear and I do own it. I would not be posting so freely about my strange mix of emotion if I did not.

I used to just block it off because my emotion tends to be very powerful and becomes amplified by the emotions of those around me. So, I guess, the "balancing" for me is allowing my love not to overpower and pain not to overpower.

You know, your words have made me realize that the fear I feel is not actually my fear. It is the fear of those others whose emotions are entwined with my actions. I just recognize it and keep it in mind throughout my daily life because I feel like they are worth consideration. The pain, yes, is mine. It has always been with me, and will likely always be with me.

In response to your idea that love should outweigh fear: I remember as child/teenager doing everything I could to so that people around me would love me as I loved them. (It was instilled in me that one must love others, one must turn the other cheek, one must live in service to others, etc.) In reality, most of them saw this as an opportunity to hurt, manipulate, coerce, degrade, and otherwise use me as a means to an end. I continued to love them, but hated myself. Because, why should I waste time loving myself when I was supposed to be "showing love" to others? In my mind, they were the ones who were worthwhile... and I was nothing. I was just there to give them what they wanted. And, they got it.

That is a source of some of my pain. Some of the memories I have cause me to feel physically ill.

Yet, I cannot get rid of those memories. I can only learn from them.

I remember, for a brief point in time, feeling like maybe I had lived the painful first portion of my life so that I could feel great love. But, that was not so. Because, I then went on to experience significantly more pain. After that, I just couldn't figure out why I was alive. I didn't actually want to be alive. It made no sense. So, I went on to live just to live because I hadn't died yet, so there must have been a reason I was alive, even if it wasn't actually living.

I see now that the reason I was ever born and survived through years of being nothing was so that my children would be born as something... and that I would recognize that in them.

They are, really, all that matter. My wants and needs and wishes and happiness have never actually mattered, not in this life anyway. But those children? They are perfect. They are pure. I wish to be like them, since I never have been.

It has been a fact of my life that I must work to get anything I think is worthwhile. I do not wait on life to "give" anything to me, because when I cease to live and only exist (wait), then I return to Nothing. I have no trouble making decisions, I just do what I have to do. Now, I do what I have to do for my children.

Likewise, I do not expect anything. I learned long ago that the only person I could depend on was myself. So, I've never depended on anyone, never fully trusted anyone, never fully opened myself to anyone. Because, there has never been conclusive evidence that I could do that with anyone.

I have no idea why I am writing all of this out to you, Greyer, but now that it is written I will not erase it.

Maybe I just needed to write it out to understand it.

Originally posted by ottobot
In response to your idea that love should outweigh fear: I remember as child/teenager doing everything I could to so that people around me would love me as I loved them. (It was instilled in me that one must love others, one must turn the other cheek, one must live in service to others, etc.) In reality, most of them saw this as an opportunity to hurt, manipulate, coerce, degrade, and otherwise use me as a means to an end. I continued to love them, but hated myself. Because, why should I waste time loving myself when I was supposed to be "showing love" to others? In my mind, they were the ones who were worthwhile... and I was nothing. I was just there to give them what they wanted. And, they got it.

That is a source of some of my pain. Some of the memories I have cause me to feel physically ill.

Yet, I cannot get rid of those memories. I can only learn from them.

Having the courage to find love in the world needs to be very intelligent. We know the world doesn't care about us, the only thing they care about is us caring for ourselves. I do not mean to love - I mentioned understanding love is only going to bring more pain. I meant to recieve love, and we know that finding people in the world who will give love to us is a very hard task, but it surely involves facing fear.

There is no way to understand love without loving yourself, if you feel that you are giving love to others and not yourself than you have to reconsider what love is - there is no way to understand love unless it comes from within you. The pain of love is from you giving and they not returning, loving yourself is not something that you think consciously, it is something you feel.

reply to post by greyer


Well, honestly, at this point, I have no interest in finding people who will love me.

It just doesn't matter.

Like I said, the only people who matter are my children. They do love me, I do love them, what else is there?

Point being, through them I have learned how to love myself and see myself as someone who can be loved. If I can be loved by these perfect beings, then I have learned to love.

reply to post by ottobot


freak evil, that is all u r

how existence is about u conscious while not even knowing urself and never objective else existence and all constant realities n conditions forcing u to move and shut up

anything u say is a lie, u invent a script from some cheap knowledge of this time torture to innocent, any easiest way to get smthg for urself as if puting superiority down is making u superior, u just reveal what u and ur gods are, starting by inventing lies for rights abuse and ending always by eating living right

using others to mean urself objectivity is not painful and definitely never to fear,
while it is difficult realisation of individual superiority by loosing its stand, playing in truth is nothing real, when superiority is absolute truth so any stand and especially any objective reality
it is only about true efforts in meaning truth rights, so true superiority rights especially when existence is clearly on inferiority mode

realizing oneself objectively is never loving oneself, u make that confusion bc u r a liar that mean to say smthg of lies market and for

love is the opposite to self freedom, that is why it is the only way u mean while u never do even, to use the present of others as if it is given to u or that u r same positive end, u create the concept of love to stay attached and justify any will to impose urself on else by clearly meaning urself existence alone

self objective realisation is all to truth objective reality, while the realisator is free which is nothing to anything and surely never someone

u never want but existence in inferiority, pains and fears that u keep repeating ways to justify, as if saying that u r in pain for seeing others pains make pains sound superior or u
u will never have anything to do with truth that is obvious

truth is first and last, nothing negative so always freedom in objective superiority ways

reply to post by absolutely


I am telling the truth as I understand it. If you have a different truth, that's still truth. I am not lying just because you disagree with me.

I am going to smile my freak evil three eye smile at you and move on down the road:

Originally posted by ottobot
reply to post by greyer

 

Well, honestly, at this point, I have no interest in finding people who will love me.

I promise you, then no matter how much you learn about love you will still come to feel unhappy as you have written in this post. It may not be a rejection but in the lack of interest to let people love you it has defied what love really is.

reply to post by greyer


exactly, he is a liar in all means and terms

the easiest thing to do is love, it doesnt change anything while making u pass ur time fine

there is so much and many objective things and living realities, when u r just one freedom constancy it is so easy to reach to repetitive positive constancy objectively

what is that love that make him be in painss??? even a dog turn his back easily to a boss that he dislike and force his boss to what he wants in constant terms of his being

he simply wants to exhibit the image of love being the whole truth, so he could kill the truth

even satan love anything love it is nothing but easiest way to b objective while staying urself out

best way of passing time especially when u have to b constant objective being

he keeps inventing figures of absolute negative beings that do not exist, in order to get to himself the value of meaning love, bc he knows that in truth his love is disqualified to exist

love oneself he says, in meaning truth as a mother that exist only to wait for him

standing for rights or oneself rights has nothing to do with love, it is a fact in concept of constancy ends u cant end without urself but also if u cant as free conscious mean urself being right then all ur means are always of lies and for

rights is most difficult thing to realize since right is always reality so objective constant facts then by meaning rights u must keep working in moving constantly for before being out

while love is easiest joy to realize by staying subjectively out in meaning objective constancy as positive thing itself

what is too funny, is what they invent their fancies about being super intelligent that must get down to earth and love it

knowing that they are playing a role to beyond from god pleasures to live that through miserable males beings from earth nature and to

heyhey take that slap and that one too, u r miserable animal nothing of intelligence the least nor to

Originally posted by absolutely
reply to post by greyer

 

exactly, he is a liar in all means and terms

the easiest thing to do is love, it doesnt change anything while making u pass ur time fine

there is so much and many objective things and living realities, when u r just one freedom constancy it is so easy to reach to repetitive positive constancy objectively

what is that love that make him be in painss??? even a dog turn his back easily to a boss that he dislike and force his boss to what he wants in constant terms of his being

he simply wants to exhibit the image of love being the whole truth, so he could kill the truth

even satan love anything love it is nothing but easiest way to b objective while staying urself out

best way of passing time especially when u have to b constant objective being

he keeps inventing figures of absolute negative beings that do not exist, in order to get to himself the value of meaning love, bc he knows that in truth his love is disqualified to exist

love oneself he says, in meaning truth as a mother that exist only to wait for him

standing for rights or oneself rights has nothing to do with love, it is a fact in concept of constancy ends u cant end without urself but also if u cant as free conscious mean urself being right then all ur means are always of lies and for

rights is most difficult thing to realize since right is always reality so objective constant facts then by meaning rights u must keep working in moving constantly for before being out

while love is easiest joy to realize by staying subjectively out in meaning objective constancy as positive thing itself

what is too funny, is what they invent their fancies about being super intelligent that must get down to earth and love it

knowing that they are playing a role to beyond from god pleasures to live that through miserable males beings from earth nature and to

heyhey take that slap and that one too, u r miserable animal nothing of intelligence the least nor to

To me that is the theory of caveman, and ottobot is not lying.

reply to post by greyer


when truth exists then caveman is a lie and what invent theories concepts to justify anything is a living liar

Originally posted by greyer
I promise you, then no matter how much you learn about love you will still come to feel unhappy as you have written in this post. It may not be a rejection but in the lack of interest to let people love you it has defied what love really is.

I think you misunderstood my intent on that one: I already have people who love me.

I love certain people, whether they reciprocate that love or not.

What I meant is that I have no interest in seeking love. As in, I'm not going to go out and start dating random people to "find a mate". I'm not going to go out and "find friends". In other words, I have no interest in searching for people who may be more inclined to like or love me based on their advertised interests.

Because, what's the point?

Love is love and it happens when it's supposed to.

I'm just not worried about it. I have love in my heart, I have wonderful children, a few loving friends, and live in beautiful world... I don't feel like I need to seek anything I don't already have. I figure that what happens will happen, so I'm not going to worry about it.