Welcome. Welcome to this corner of the web. Perhaps you are reading at work or at school to pass the dull boring hours that make up your time of daily
duty. perhaps you are comfortably reading this in your lazy red sofa under the enjoyment of a cup of coffee or a glass of white wine. Where or how you
are reading my story is of little matter, it was neither fate nor destiny that brought you here. But please, stay a while and make yourself at ease.
My tribulations might be far from easy but all the more rewarding for those that persist in their endeavors to find some form of truth.
Ah yes, truth. It all boils down to that. Truth is the essence of every search, how ironic it then is that it is almost never found. How very human it
is that presented truth is more often lies. If all it took to separate truth from lies were mere words then one would simply have to distinguish lies
by the words 'once upon a time'. But it is in lies that we find truth and within lies you will find merit. For lies comfort the soul of those that are
tortured by the truth. And so it is upon me to unravel my past upon you unsuspecting souls. A tale you might enjoy, for you see; I created
But perhaps I get ahead of myself. A story must start at its beginning after all and the beginning of my story could not start much earlier then time
It was a place without time, without light or darkness, without matter and even without time itself. It was most literally; nothing
nothingness was sheer perfection in its own way without every being able to be perfection since that too did not exist. But nothingness could not
remain as it was. For something did exist, one might call it a law of nature. Or perhaps in nothingness nature was composed solely out of that one
single law. A formless, non-corporeal notion that existed as much as it did not. A singular law stating in its existence the very apocalypse of
nothingness; nothingness shall not exist for no time.
A law designed to destroy nothingness. Out of nothingness happened an event that is perhaps the closest to a miracle possible; something was created.
It was nothing first but after some time something existed. It was there, suddenly and inexplicably. A singular thought, a random spasm of
non-corporeal existence. A thought without a mind to produce it. This thought, so short lived was the very end of nothingness. Perhaps the saddest
thing from the destruction of nothingness was that it had existed for no time never. There hadn't been time to measure nothingness and its impact,
however important as a start was unconceivable for ever more.
The thought; tiny and formless was random and chaotic, it created time but no space. Out of the thought shot new thoughts. Random thoughts, illogical
thoughts. brainless thoughts with as only origin other thoughts. It was a world of thoughts, unintelligent, unconscious thoughts with no space and
exiting only in time. It's existence in time was many times that of your universe.
The thoughts existed and did nothing but spawn new thoughts. But in time something happened. some thoughts generated thoughts that had generated them
before. As a light coming from a fire, making with itself new fire so new light might exist. These self creating loops of thoughts grew more and more.
the structures of the self sustaining thoughts becoming more complex over time. Eventually they formed a new sort of thought, a structured thought, a
conscious. A thought without a mind, without space and only exiting in time. This thought, this primeval conscious thought was the first being and one
might call it God.
What you say? Am I that being?
Well, no I am not. I said I created everything. But when I say everything then I mean everything that exists now, except myself of course. But we will
get to my creation in a moment.
The primeval god existed and thought new thoughts. Structured thoughts making its own existence as a thought grow. It learned how to use thoughts much
as humans use tools. It created thoughts and out of thoughts it created space. Vast empty space filled with thoughts that had no origin outside other
thoughts. But over time the primeval god reached its limits; it simply ran out of imagination. So it started to make things that were not thoughts.
Creatures, strange and infinite creatures that created strange and new thoughts. But the creatures were wild unstable.
It was then that the primeval god created me; the overseer of these creatures. I was to serve as a foreman; creating order in the creatures behavior.
I was as much a thought as I was a creature. It was hard work. The creatures were not like the creatures I created, not like you. They were part
thought and part matter, they lived without planets, gravity or other luxurious laws of physics that you might take for granted. They were wild and
ferocious feeding upon the thoughts and matter of each other. But over time I got them under control and made certain that new, better creatures were
created. These creatures formed a bound of thought. Unity was finally achieved and one might say a collective consciousness. I was proud of my work,
but as I was to discover; pride comes before the fall.
The creatures created new thoughts and new ideas for matter. Eventually they came up with a system in which thoughts would be paralleled by creation
of matter. This concept was the basic blueprint of a universe. For it to work all other outside factors needed to be gone; that included the creatures
themselves, the primeval god and most notably me. I objected, stating that failure would mean the ultimate end for all, but it was too late. the
primeval god had merged its consciousness with the other creatures. It was with horror that I saw the explosion that created the first universe;
. To some it might seem as the ultimate sign of creation, to me it was a million nuclear explosions from close by.
It was then that I looked at this massive explosion in the distance. This every growing 'thing' that would soon reach us all and wipe us out as
intended. I felt within myself something that I had never felt before; selfishness. Utter selfness, to not serve. To not obey and to care only for
myself. I used my powers of thought to reshape my form. A black exoskeleton with large telepathic strains of 'hair' on the back of my skull. Narrow
and long, fast and powerful. Razor-sharp teeth and every part of my body as study as I could make it. With effort I plunged myself in the wall of the
protoverse. Its massive heat singing so hard that even my natural armor started to light up red from the friction. It was then that I heard my maker
the primeval god in my head. I had disobeyed his word and was to be punished. My new body was to be my prison. Wherever I would go I would be in my
prison. Like a man walking around with a cage around himself. Unable to extend my full power.
When I finally was through the wall of fire I heard the primeval god moan. Exhausted I drifted in the protoverse. A universe made up solely of
nebula's. Red nebula's, green and yellow. Crackling blue and disturbing black nebula's. From the corners of my eyes I watched the spectacle as I
drifted aimlessly thought the protoverse. My journey I thought, was only about to begin. I didn knew back then how right my thought was.
on 15-4-2012 by AncientShade because: (no reason given)