posted on Apr, 13 2012 @ 06:57 PM
It has been three years now, three years you have been out of pain.
I miss you, it gets easier every day, the tears don't come as often, more often I smile when I think about growing up. I more often remember little
things that made us smile, like coming home from the outdoor rink with a bloody nose, and you making us home made rice pudding. I remember sleepily
sitting on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons, snuggled up to you with you running your fingers through my hair.
I remember learning to wind surf at the beach, you sitting quietly on the beach watching us as we repeatedly fell off the board, I was so small I
could not hod the sail up against the wind if it gusted, getting blown over at the slightest gust. I went up on the beach upset because I was so small
I could not do it, and you telling me that there were things I was meant to do, and others I was not, but not to be upset about it, at least I
I remember in grade 4, you could not get clothes that fitted me that did not look like toddler clothes, so you made my clothes for me. I remember one
of my teachers raving about my clothes, and she would not believe you made them, until I showed her that tag you put in all of them "Lovingly made by
mom", I felt so proud them, that my mom loved me so much that she would sit for hours and make me my clothes.
I remember the first time you came on a trip with me when I was driving truck, it was only a sort trip, up to the yard for an oil change, then pick up
a trailer, go to Toronto to load, then I dropped you at home before going to the US, we stopped for dinner north of Toronto too. I remember thinking
that some of the other regulars at the truck stop might have a little fun with me for having my mom along, but they didn't they all thought it was
great. While I was doing the oil change on the truck, you sat in the lawn chair we brought along, with your big sun hat on, every time i looked over
you were smiling. I am sure it was a bit of an adventure for you, I am glad I could share it, it made my day, and some great memories. I do remember
you saying, wen I dropped you off at midnight, that you understood why I didn't make it to a phone to call home every night, that sometimes by the
time I got done, it was vary late.
I remember you cared enough that it made you worry, now I understand why, you were not being over protective, or controlling, maybe you even missed me
a lot, as i was not home much those years.
I remember once, while I was getting a shave one morning, you stood at the door to the bathroom, I thought you really needed to use the washroom, you
said no, just watching you shave, my little boy has grown up. That was not too long before you left us, sometimes I wonder if you knew you had done a
good job, and that it was time to be free of your pain, that you knew you had given me and Roger the tools to live.
I miss you, and I know we all do, but one day, when it is our time, we will see you again.
I love you Mom, always will.
Your little boy,