Behold, my name is Bowser I am the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom.
Since the days of the eight bit Nintendo and even before that, I have sought a mushroom kingdom under one global Superpower under my own authority. I
have worked endlessly to ensure my success, by dividing all aspects of the Mushroom Kingdoms economies and leadership and making them fight one
Behold, the Mushroom Kingdom is the fourth world but soon we will enter into a brave new world of communist control, solely under control of I,
Bowser. Bowsers Kingdom will become the 5th world.
I have organized the mushroom world economy under the control of labor unions, my ultimate weapon of divide and conquer. While the 1% like Mario and
Luigi try to promote freedom I shall set their own people against them. I gathered the Mushroom Kingdom Labor Union (MKLU) into Tyranny Square Park
and have instructed them how to proceed.
"If you should encounter mario please instruct him that the princess is in another castle."
But many of the mushroom kingdom people did not come together with a common goal as I have anticipated, so when some of the tried to revolt I had
gathered the Hammer Brother Police to maintain and control order.
Many of the mushroom people incited violence against the police. But since the media was under my control it was presented to the public as legitimate
police brutality. I also anticipated this, so one night I contacted George Soros and he had helped raise funds to get the Occupy Protestors drunk and
have them forcibly removed from the park. The mushroom people were drunken looters, vandalizing the square, interrupting commerce, raping and killing
each other, defacating on police cars, having public sex and trashed the park.
The group as it turns out was veery divided indeed. Some of them were Anarchists, communists, others socialists, others marxist and capitalist pigs. I
would need to spare some of them to further divide and conquer the mushroom kingdom.
So I organized a race war. I had constructed a mushroom citizens emergency response team (mcert) and held emergency management drills where they would
practice disaster evacuations and hold neighborhood watch patrols. Meanwhile the brown goombas have been told for decades that they were oppressed by
Mario and the 1% and one day if Mario crossed their path, Mario would stomp on them and squish them, just because they were brown. But behold one day
a brown goomba was caught sneaking through other peoples property and acting very suspicious and one of the mushroom people shot and killed him. But
because of the laws he was not prosecuted and this brought outrage to the brown goomba community.
Goomba Farrakhan and others became outraged and started instructing the goombas to kill whitey. Spike Goomba had posted the mushroom mans address
online but later learned that it was the wrong mushroom man.
Members of the New Brown Goomba party were outraged and this became the beginning of an all out race war.
As future ruler I pulled some strings and enacted martial law and brought in the war ships to annihilate everyone.
I instructed the first born son to kill the second born son as they shall inherit the Kingdom of Mushrooms, at long last Luigi is finally dead but I
still have not got my man Mario. Mario is public enemy #1.
Fear me. I am your lord Bowser.