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Originally posted by circlemaker
A few years ago I began an experiment in irony. While it's fashionable to deny one's ego, I decided instead to feed mine well and often. But here's the important part: only I feed it, no one else. The resulting effect is that regardless of whether I receive praise or insults, they're just small drops in a very large bucket.
Through this process I actually dissociated my personality into two parts, the ego and the critic. It was funny watching ego do "egotistical things" like expecting praise or attention from others, which I would then correct while being careful not to abuse it. It's like when you take something from a baby you give something back in return and try to teach it in the process.
This allows one to have a large ego without many of the problems typically associated with it. I've watched (and experienced) too many people use each other to feed their own egos indirectly. I've been guilty of it myself. And if they get used to it and that feeding is denied? Watch out!
Usually it's the people with fame and/or power who lash out the most when you don't give them the respect they expect, but it's also those with low self-esteem who guilt-trip others into feeding their egos.
It's not a big ego that's problematic, it's an unbalanced one.
I share this because it's worked well for me so far and because I see a lot of anti-ego talk around here. Having grown up in a guilt-ridden religion where any sense of pride was considered evil or vain, I wrestled with problems of self-esteem for years. Even after I freed myself from the shackles of religion I still had residual problems. Denying the ego was one of those problems. Now I love my ego, but I also experience it as one of two internal (yet always present) personalities. As strange as that sounds, the distinction has it's uses in addition to offering a creative way to get around the "self-love = bad" concept.
Originally posted by unknown known
reply to post by circlemaker
Can you go into more detail about how you "feed" your ego? Like self talk, etc? Would you feed your ego negatively or did you always praise yourself and deny any faults you have?
Originally posted by Jean Paul Zodeaux
I am often astounded at how many people will point to the Ego and ascribe blame to for what would accurately be a phenomenon of the Id. People will suggest that people's downfall happen because of an Ego out of control, but the reality it was an Id, demanding obscene amounts of pleasure, and even pain as pleasure, just as long as it is some form of stimulation that does not take near as much effort as the stimulation that would come from an Ego.