Stop talking trash about the relationship forum!

reply to post by Taupin Desciple


Yeah sure guys, no problem.

What I mean by 'vapor-lock', is when you are having a heart to heart with your mate and you are not seeing eye to eye, and this has been going on for a couple of days, and you know what you need to say, but then there you are, holding a phone to your ear, with a mouth full of teeth, and the gears in your head go 'crunch', and getting out what you need to say is no longer possible, let alone, a run-on sentence like this one.

So I suppose I meant when things get tough (bad). Although I bet it happens sometimes when what we have to say is not so bad.


Sorry this is so confusing, but it is a mystery, after all. I certainly can't find the answers alone. I stand in confusion with the rest. I guess what I mean to say is, when I decompensate around relationship stuff you can hear the gears in my brain squealing in Canada.

So maybe we can make something more of our hidden gem that is the Relationships Forum.

X.

P.S. I am way too bust to do anything but use ATS to distract myself at the moment. I don't suppose any brave soul would like to develop a thorough thread on attachment theory and post it in the relationship forum. That would be a good place to start.

i'm glad you posted this, it re-assures me of the very same thought I had about this comment;

"What kind of idiot would ask a bunch of conspiracy theorists for relationship advice?"

the kind of idiot who wants to further themselves in this world by asking their peers things they themselves aren't particularily knowledgeable about.

reply to post by yourmaker

the kind of idiot who wants to further themselves in this world by asking their peers things they themselves aren't particularily knowledgeable about.

I'm one of those.

I would like to think it should all work like this. Good post.

X.

reply to post by Xoanon


You should have writer status....you're very good at it. "A mouth full of teeth and the gears go 'crunch'".

Anyway, sounds like that vapor-lock is when you have proof that you've drifted away from your significant other to the point of no return. When you can't see eye to eye on the way you see things.To me, that's just a deeper sign that it wasn't meant to be in the first place. That's not to say that all years between were wasted, they probably weren't. If you both did growing and maturing during that time then you can both look back and say you had a good run at it.

Some people just can't mature together on the same level for a lifetime. Maybe it's because they never made it a habit to communicate about the deeper side of themselves or maybe their differences are such that it's just a matter of time before they go their separate ways. Who knows. But if they don't separate at that point where they notice the vapor-lock, they're not doing themselves any favors by staying together because they will be incapable of maturing to the extent that they otherwise could.

Just my opinion of course, but it feels right to me.

Originally posted by silent thunder
The male-to-female ratio on ATS is fantastic. Most internet forums (other than specifically female-themed ones) seem to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 90%-plus male. Not ATS. Because this board has a relatively balanced male-to-female ratio, you are apt to get more balanced responses representing the opinions of both men and women, which is important in relationship issues.

Internet forums- where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents

there is a plethora of other sites you can go to for dating advice..


but of course ATS has members defending this forum, its a reflection of the how this site has just been going downhill very fast over the last 5 years.


can we start a sexual intercourse forum too? for the kids that dont know how to use condoms yet? is okay to encourage kids to use condoms if they are under 18? OMG maybe I will start a thread!

ridiculous...

get a life and go somewhere else for your relationship advice unless it has to do with a conspiracy.

reply to post by silent thunder
I'm happily married. Plus I'm an old man.

Any advice I give is to be patient. Be honest. Don't be afraid to lose arguments.

And say, "Yes dear" alot.

reply to post by knightsofcydonia


If you don't like it, don't click it. Very simple.

ATS is not a zero-sum game. The addition of one thing does not mean the subtraction of another.

Originally posted by knightsofcydonia
get a life and go somewhere else for your relationship advice unless it has to do with a conspiracy.

1) So since according to you, everything here has to do with conspiracy, I suppose you'd remove all the curent events, political, and religious forums, for example, if you were emperor of ATS? Those are where I - and hundreds if not thousands of members who don't care one whit for aliens or annunaki - spend most of our time.

ATS is not a "conspiracy forum." The official definition is: "the largest and most popular web site for "alternative" topics". One - but not the only - such topic is "conspiracy." But I suppose you know better than the owners and all the thousands of people who like talking about the various non-conspiracy things we talk about here, right?

2) Please don't tell me what to do and where to go. You are not the boss of me.

I smell ATS getting into a different market!

Hmm oddly enough this is the first time I've ever even heard of the relationship forum. Who talks trash about it?

reply to post by silent thunder


I find the Relationship Forum to show, sometimes, a deeper more personal side of our members who post there. I've participated in a few threads, and didn't find find it detrimental to ATS in any way. Some people may feel that posting in that forum, is the only place they can open up, and get things off their chest. I've seen some compassionate, and excellent advice offered to those who've asked.

What's wrong with ATS having a well balanced format. I like it. It makes it feel more like home to me.

Des

reply to post by silent thunder


I found it a bit strange when I first saw the forum, because I guess I thought maybe most conspiracy theorists wouldn't want to share personal details or get all touchy feely unless they thought their SO might be an alien or illuminati member or something.

But that said, I guess a lot of people come here daily, and chat about all sorts of things that they like/dislike, and form bonds with the other posters here, so why wouldn't they feel comfortable enough with those people to say hey I'm having a bit of a tough time in my personal life, can I just chat to you guys about it?

Plus most of the people here are mature enough and have lived long enough to be able to give some good advice I think.

reply to post by silent thunder


I found it a bit strange when I first saw the forum, because I guess I thought maybe most conspiracy theorists wouldn't want to share personal details or get all touchy feely unless they thought their SO might be an alien or illuminati member or something.

But that said, I guess a lot of people come here daily, and chat about all sorts of things that they like/dislike, and form bonds with the other posters here, so why wouldn't they feel comfortable enough with those people to say hey I'm having a bit of a tough time in my personal life, can I just chat to you guys about it?

Plus most of the people here are mature enough and have lived long enough to be able to give some good advice I think.

reply to post by Destinyone


I agree it does feel a little more intimate when someone writes in this forum.

I wanted to add that I enjoy and have written a few (some even controversial) threads in the forum, and I feel the reason sometimes members write there is because we are outside the box type of people, many of us are in relationships with people who may not understand why we frequent ATS, or why we enjoy the topics we do.

Where else but to the place you feel open, to discuss things in your life that still keeps you anonymous, and where you can also in about 3 mins read about UFO's, and the latest conspiracies?

To me thats one heck of a combo!!

Peace, NRE.

ATS is not a "conspiracy forum."

reply to post by silent thunder


Haha

Maybe not for you. but the other 99% of us who dont come here strictly for the "relationship" forum, consider it a conspiracy site.

[Edit: Meh. Nevermind. Nothing to see here.]

Originally posted by knightsofcydonia
Haha

Maybe not for you. but the other 99% of us who dont come here strictly for the "relationship" forum, consider it a conspiracy site.

OK, fair enough.


Then in that case, since you speak for "teh ninety-nine percent," as it were, please enlighten this poor, misguided one-percenter about the conspiracy aspect of your participation in this thread. Since, y'know, you're claiming that's why you are here. Extraordinary claims require extrordinary proof, and all that, yuo know.

All the best,

Silent Thunder,
Earned every single one of his WATS points in the relationship forum. Every. Single. One.

How dare people seek an opinion from like-minded people! And don't get me started about the cooking and art forums....and then there's general chit chat! ...find human contact else where! People you know are more fit to judge you anyway.
/end sarcasm

No interest in the topic, then don't click.

ETA: I like being reminded members are actual people who I can relate to even when I disagree with their conspiracy views. Advice received isn't emotional since it isn't personal, people won't tell you, you didn't do wrong when you wern't exactly right.

I was a behavioral counselor for over 10 years. I can tell you that if you want good personal advice and input, you seek out people with a variety of similar views, values, and thought processes. I would use this site before I would use most others. obviously if you need professional help, seek it. but this is a good place to start sometimes with simple input and the thoughts of others in their area of life experience.
Great post and input, OP. S +F.

I LOVE the relationship forum! Seriously. I don't post to it but it's in my top three forums to read. Most of the ATS members are very sweet and kind when they post in there. I also love it because reading other peoples drama and problems make my drama and problems seem more manageable.