posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 12:00 AM
I`ve been coming to ATS for over 7 years now and I enjoy this site very much as a source for breaking news as well as resourceful information. I have
always been interested in the paranormal such as spirits and UFOs and now I also believe I have a better understanding of things because of the
information provided by this website and its members.
Now I want to tell my story, just a regular life story, nothing to do with conspiracies on this website. I need to let this all out in the open to
feel better but it will feel much better just to hear a few comments and get some friendly advice, as well as remain anonymous, so I came here.
What I am needing to know is if anyone can relate to what I will say. I want to know if you dealt with a similar situation and how you did or didn`t
make it better.
I have an 11 year old daughter who I love more the words can show. If you are a parent, you know what I mean. I love her unconditionally and with all
my heart. I miss her when I am not with her, and I want the best for her always. No one can make me smile or feel as good as my daughter can. I want
the best for her. I want her to do well in school. I want her to be kind, helpful, respectful and smart. I want her to be successful by choosing to do
whatever makes her happy. I want her to have what is best for her no matter what.
I met my daughter`s mother when I was about 18 or 19. I met her through a friend and saw her once. I saw her again a few years later and we dated for
a few months and remained friends. Then a couple years later we got together again, more seriously. At this time, she was in AA (alcoholics anonymous)
and with a much better perspective on life. I had always liked her before but now she was much different. She was a very happy person, she had a new
lease on life and wanted to lead a good and happy life as well as a new commitment to remain sober, as she believed this was in her best interest. I
had never thought of her as an alcoholic. When we were young, my friends and I would drink all the time. When I was with her, we drank and had fun
too. But this was her decision to get sober and it`s what she believed she needed to do.
When she was sober and we were together, I was her rock whether she knew it or not. I researched AA meetings for our trip to Florida so she would not
go without. I made sure she got to those meetings when she wanted to go. I supported her 100%, I loved her. I even supported her decision to start
drinking again. It was a year or so after the birth of our child. She went out with some friends had a beer or 2 and that was all she wanted. She had
no desire to keep drinking. She was cured!!! I was happy, maybe we could share a drink now and again. But what an ass I would find out I am.
As time went on, our relationship was stretched. There was no more affection from her, she wasn`t the same and I didn`t know why. Always asking,
trying to communicate, I would always ask what was wrong. I always thought it was me. I would ask her if there was something I needed to change. What
was the problem? All I knew was that I loved this girl and would do anything to make her happy and keep us together.
I would work 6 days a week and she would go out on Saturday night. On Sunday I would make a huge breakfast and then to get her out of bed I would take
her to Target or somewhere shopping and drop $400. I didn`t have a problem with none of it. I mean, I would rather have had her spend time with me,
maybe have a couple of drinks together at home. But she was the social butterfly and had to be out and about with her friends and I accepted this.
So to move this forward, let me skip ahead a few years. I had a good job, good benefits, everything I needed. Each year, being the seasonal type of
industry, I would receive a brief layoff from work for a week to a month or so. It wasn`t a problem, it was more like a paid vacation in my eyes with
$405 coming in from unemployment plus another $100 a week from my union hall. The last year I was there, there was some real union political bs going
down and the owner of the company I worked for, took full advantage. He took a $25 million dollar a year operation built up over generations in his
family and ran it straight into the ground is what he ultimately wound up doing. But first the jack got rid of all his help and therefore my
unemployment stint was extended. It took a while to find out what was going on, but eventually I found out I needed a new job. It was during this
extended layoff of a couple months that I realized my relationship was in deep trouble.
I mean I had nothing but time for her now and she still was not happy. Now it really hurts for a guy to be doing everything he can, supporting his
woman, giving her everything and not getting any kind of play in the bedroom. This was apparent, I had nowhere to go. I was facing this everyday. But
basically, this is when I knew it was bad.
Knowing that I would need to start a new job soon and once again start from the bottom, there was no telling when my next chance for vacation would be
so I decided to take a family trip to Disney World before I started a new gig. I also though it might rekindle something in her since that was one of
the first things we ever did as a couple, go to Florida.
That was in April 05. She moved out in June 05 and took my daughter and left me with the dogs and the cat and said it wasn`t me, it was her and she
needed to get away. That devastated me. I admit we weren`t married, but we were engaged, and we had already told each other that we wanted to be
together forever, so it was a very hard time. I couldn`t focus on work or anything so I wound up taking the summer off and living off of fried
dumplings and purple haze.
In August the talks began. She wanted back in, she wanted to work this out, she wanted to change. I had already granted her brother permission to move
in with me along with his girl and their daughter for an unspecified time as he was finishing up work on his house less then a block away from me. I
had also been offered a business opportunity from her other brother that I went on to accept.
Things were looking up. I was attending school for oil burner repair through my union and running a laundromat near to my house at the same time. My
girl was back, my whole family was intact and life was looking great. My daughter`s mother began going back to her meetings and she was also helping
me run the new business. We went out and purchased all new furniture for the house and even did some remodeling as well. The business was steadily
growing, the classes were going well and my daughter had just began attending private school. I enjoyed as well having the company of her brother and
his family at the house as well. It was a real go time in my life.
Bam! That couldn`t go on forever. Looking back, I think it was way too much on my daughter`s mother. There was so much going on in our lives and then
there were the insecurities. One day at the mat, my fiance got real mad at me because of a conversation I had with a pretty woman. She was a regular
customer, also married, but a customer none the less. I think she had questioned me something about a dryer or something, I forget the details. Bottom
line is my girl got so jealous and flipped out and from that point on wasn`t helping me run the laundromat anymore. I think that along with sharing
her home with her brother`s girl was too much for her.