have you fought your intuition and it worked?

ok...so...we've all been there (or will be if you ain't yet!):

the relationship has gone stale. you look at them and think "you're a great person, it's been great but i'm tired of you and this". you care about them and what not but just feel like it's over. you are even pretty sure you've got all the signs that it's over.

BUT

you love that person and true love never ends...right? wrong?

my question is this: how many of you have reached that point in a relationship we're you're quite certain it's over but you give it one last try cuz that's what you're supposed to do (or so we're told) and it actually worked?

i don't mean it was ok for a few months...i mean...you knew deep down it was going to end but you fought for your love and it actually saved the relationship and it blossomed back into the happy relationship that it once was and stayed that way?

i'm a bit cynical of that "save your love" notion. i myself have never had it work once i knew it was over and of everyone i've ever known it's never worked. that one last try usually only patches things up for a few months until the underlying cause pokes back up.

i'd love to hear from everyone with experience. experience either giving it one last chance and it still eventually failing or giving it one last chance and it coming back together and working for years.

my reasoning for this is i believe that deep down, we know it's over and try to keep it alive for all the wrong reasons. i think that relationships are supposed to end at some point. so that each partner can move on an integrate what they learned from that relationship.

Trust your gut...

I made a HUGE mistake, probably irreparable, that I should have been left in the wind by my partner... and I did it because my intuition was horrible during a certain time in my life and I didn't recognize what I had.

We both stuck through it, and all things considered, we couldn't be better.

But there were consequences for my actions, so all I would suggest to you or anyone else, is to get a clear head and don't do something you'll regret. Give yourself the time to listen to your intuition and don't be rash or hasty.

I've also been on the flip side and had to part ways a few times, and all of them were me listening to my intuition. If I didn't, I wouldn't be where I am today. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason, and to get it "right" in a relationship, I believe you should experience a couple of them to fully realize what it is you do and don't want in a relationship.

I will say that I don't think there is such a thing as the "perfect" partner, but the better your communication is with someone, the more likely you are to work through any problem you come across, and therefore, have a long and healthy relationship. That is the secret sauce for me... without the communication, it would have ended long ago.

Good luck!

~Namaste

reply to post by ICEKOHLD


You need to ask yourself, and answer honestly, mind you, if your energy is better spent making an effort to keep things going, or to call it quits and cease wasting energy on what is really flogging a dead horse.

I've always gone by the idea that they are ex's for a reason. People sometimes drift apart, but for the sake of the wrong reasons, try to get back on the horse for one last time, which is usually the time it turns disastrous.

You know in your heart (or gut or whatever means you decide by) when something is over between two people, trouble is most people are quite happy to stay in that miserable rut for fear of hurt, change, whatever for as long as they can, another thing that makes a bad situation finally end in the worst way possible.

Personally I knew my relationship was over weeks before it finally blew up on me, but looking back it was the best move to end it and move on, as I was focusing wasted energy and time focusing on a relationship doomed to fail anyway, and what was really important, my kids and my health and well being went down the sink because of that. Once it was over, it was more of a release than anything, and now my energy is better spent looking after my girls and my health is so much better for it.

reply to post by 74Templar


oh...i'm not trying to hold onto anything. i am single right now. i am more asking this because i see so many relationship threads about how they can almost sense it's over but want to fight for love.

i appreciate the responses but i'm not asking for personal advice per se...more just perspective of others to see if i'm the only one who thinks it's over when you know it is.

reply to post by ICEKOHLD


When it comes to something like this, trust your instincts. They'll be right.

I think some people don't simply because it may be easier to stay with each other then leave and start a new life. I know a couple where the wife told the husband that they should stay together till their child was an adult.. That's settling and that's not something I can't do. I'd be living a lie and so would everyone else in the household. That may be good enough for some....but not me. I'd rather go without a lot of personal possessions and have peace of mind than the other way around.

reply to post by 74Templar


That is an excellent way of looking at it.

It reminds me of something I heard a long time ago. That it takes more energy, more muscles in your face have to work, to frown than to smile. In other words, it's easier, takes less energy, to be happier than sad.

reply to post by ICEKOHLD


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