reply to post by choppedbrisket
Again, your advice, I can see how that would make a person feel good right away to "get even" BUT there are kids involved.................innocent
kids that didn't ask for any of this.
If this guy really loves his kids, really wants to maintain a relationship with them, he will hold off, keep his record looking squeaky clean, no
girlfriends, no affairs, no hot partying, no nothing that the woman can and will drag in front of the court and believe me, she and her lawyer will
drag every single dirty piece of laundry out they can find and even stuff that doesn't exist - then he will have to prove some of the stuff she brings
out doesn't exist.
Where men are concerned in a divorce court now days where I am from and what we have experienced, the man is guilty until proven innocent and how good
of a lawyer you can afford will determine the amount of "justice" you can buy.
My son in the past eight almost nine years of his divorce has had only two relationships, both serious. The first fiance' was scared off by my son's
ex calling her - she packed up and moved about six states away. She refused to go to court to testify because she was so scared of my son's ex.
The second woman, has got a little more spunk and also was contacted by phone by my son's ex - we finally had to get a court order (that costs about
$1,500) to make her stop stalking my son's new fiance'.
My grand daughter has told me "mom has had about eight boy friends" I have explained to my grand daughter about her right to privacy and if someone
makes her feel "uncomfortable" to inform a teacher, her father, us or some grown up...........she has been lucky so far, she says that "all of mom's
boyfriends have treated her respectfully and eventually leave her mother because her mother is just plain mean".
Getting even, trust me, doesn't work, it always comes back to bite you.
My son says all he wants is for his daughter to be happy, to feel loved and to have as normal and stable a life as possible.
If this guy really cares about his kids he will fore go getting even, having a good time and concentrate on trying to be the best father he can be and
him and the kids should perhaps seek a good family counselor.
I've watched so many kids go through this XXXX and they truly are the ones that suffer the most.
Think first of the kids, they must come first and foremost...................once you have a baby your wild partying days are over - I told my son
You young ones out there, party it up, be safe, BUT, once you make a baby, a new innocent life - it's time to grow the heck up and be as good a parent
as you possibly can.
Some marriages go through a rocky period, it's usually when the man and or woman go through mid life crisis. They realize they are no longer young,
they realize they are closer to getting old rather then young.
Men get convertibles and young girlfriends and women have multiple affairs to prove "they still have it", wear short mini skirts and low cut blouses
(40+ year olds trying to look like they are 20 to me is silly but that's just me). I am from a generation and was taught that while you can still be
sexy at any age, you should grow old gracefully.
And children need a good role model - a parent that doesn't act like Lindsey Lohan and Hannah Montana.
During this time, many marriages either fall apart or learn to settle comfortably into growing older together. That doesn't mean you can't put some
fire back into your marriage but people seem to now days want to remain like Peter Pan.
Again, the children's psychological health MUST always be considered first and foremost.
Throwing the brown stuff in her face is only going to make this divorce more violent for the kids.
When you see a hornet's nest you have two options, walk away and hope you don't get stung or get a big stick and stir them up and get them good and
The latter action will result in you getting stung multiple times.
As far as getting even, we've waited eight years and karma is finally catching up with my son's ex. He has left her alone and not bothered her -
she's created her own separate set of problems, mainly her daughter now sees very clearly how messed up her mother is and while she loves her mother,
she doesn't like the type of person she is.
Give the screwballs enough rope and they will eventually hang themselves.
It may take years, even a decade or more but karma has a way of working itself out.
edit on 9-4-2012 by ofhumandescent because: (no reason