Look at what my wife posted on another mans Facebook page.

I grew up without the internet so I would look at it this way: Whatever she posts on Facebook would be the same as her saying it to him face to face.

Look at it that way and then ask yourself what you should do.

there is plenty of tuna in the sea why do think its so cheap

Well....I am not the better man. I kinda had a meltdown. I yelled quite a bit and I don't care. She had that dude call me to calm me down. He said his girlfriend was pretty upset that my wife did that and assured me that there was not anything going on... I'm done with this. My marriage is over.

If you still love her, you can always start working at the relationship.

First, do something to make yourself more attractive

Then, try and inject some romance in the relationship.

Of course you can always find yourself a sweetie on the side, like the French do. Maybe she is taking you for granted.

reply to post by ICEKOHLD


You sound like you got some experience there. Very wise and I thank you.

She is emotionally disengaged from you. Depends on you if you want to try to make it back. Just don't be a wuss doing it. Being a "sensitive" man doesn't really work in the end. It's self-defeating. Don't worry about whether you "should" or "shouldn't" look at her Facebook. It's out there for the world to see. Tough. Don't give it a second thought and for God's sake don't apologize for looking! Grow a pair and good luck to you.

reply to post by KewlDaddyFatty



I seriously don't know which way to go with this... It happened to me in a similar way.

I was able to save the relationship. I caught her but to this day she will never admit. Trust me I don't bring it up.

I can't give advice really. Every girl is crazy in their own little way(please don't hurt me)..

I guess my advice would be to ask her about the part. "I am not sure If I love you anymore." Don't make it pushy either. Including body language you have to let her control the flow of the conversation. Ultimately if you want to stay together it's up to her. If you want to end it (9 years is above my paygrade too) it can be up to you...

I really don't know what to say. I FEEL for YOU man.

**EDIT** Just saw the doggies post (didn't look at the name) AND She IS Right... Nuff said about that...

I don't like those stupid little comment pictures.

and I really don't like when women use them consciously to prove a point, directly pointed at you.

it's so obvious it can't even be funny.

If your gut tells you that she is cheating on you, then she probably is. There is nothing I write on facebook that my husband cannot read. If spouses need secret lives on the internet, it's all over. There is trust, and then there is being a gullible fool. The line between the two is fine indeed.

I have been through this before about 12 years ago. They always have excuses, the person is "just a friend", etc. It is all BS, The only reason she hasn't bailed with Mr. Makes-Her-Smile is because he may not want her all to himself. A newly divorced woman will go running to him and want to set up house right away. He may only be interested in her because she's not entirely available. Meanwhile, she has her cake and is eating it, too...at your expense.

There are a few ways you can go about this:

1. Hire a private detective to know for sure
2. Confront her and tell her you want to go to counseling because you sense things aren't right
3. Ignore the whole thing and hope it resolves itself
4. Get a little wine or beer, get her a little loose, and then try to get the truth out of her
5. Tell her to get the hell out, if she doesn't know if she loves you, then she doesn't, and you're beating her to the punch
6. Present her with divorce papers out of the blue

She seems dishonest and sneaky, from your description. I have no patience for this type of thing. Either you are committed to making it work, or you are not. Most people are cowards and sit on the fence, eyeballing the "greener grass" but too scared to make a choice. You may have to make the choice for her.

A simple fact. No wife should be posting anything like that on anyone else's facebook or talking to other men like that. Innocent or not.. that is not exactly how a married women should speak to a male friend or how a married man should speak to a female friend. I think you know that though.

What would she think if the situation was reversed, I bet you she wouldn't take it very lightly.

Whether she is cheating or not... who knows, she could be 100% honest with what she has told you or she could be lying, you would have to make that call having known her, how she acts, etc...

Lying or not though, that is a weird thing to do for somebody that is married. If it was my wife I would be feeling the same way.

As a married person there are barriers that aren't broken. Innocent or not, to me, this seems to have crossed the line.

My advice, stay calm, keep your eyes and ears open and bide your time. Be sure to keep your emotions in check. Don't let the situation get out of hand.

Women are experts at turning crap around on you. I have found if I keep my tone lower than theirs, talk slowly and remain calm, I can keep my cool and address the real issue without some crazy fight occurring where it turn out I end up being the one that has to apologize.

As far as her saying she is not sure if she loves you anymore... I would tell her to find the F out and let you know. Life is too short.


Best of luck my friend. We have all been there. Part of life unfortunately...

Originally posted by KewlDaddyFatty
Well....I am not the better man. I kinda had a meltdown. I yelled quite a bit and I don't care. She had that dude call me to calm me down. He said his girlfriend was pretty upset that my wife did that and assured me that there was not anything going on... I'm done with this. My marriage is over.

she had him call you??, you had every right to have a melt down, and all you did is yell, nothing wrong with yelling.

reply to post by KewlDaddyFatty


Hmmmm I gotta say dude I don't buy the whole bull about his GF going mad about it too... Fancy getting the guy to phone you up! Sorry to say this but what a bitch!

9 years is a long time! It's gonna hurt, but time IS a healer! You'll get over it, best way to do that I find is a rebound! Or just going on the hunt! When you meet the next one you will have that whole new romance thing again! The flirting and the courting etc... So you got something to look forward to!

And at least you know now ay? You could try one thing if you really love her and could forget about what happened? If it's going to eat at you (you not believing her) just get out now. But if you can disappear for a week or something, don't talk to her or contact her. Sometimes people don't know what they have till it's gone!

Good luck man! Can I call for an ATS group hug?

reply to post by KewlDaddyFatty


You already know the answer. Your asking us to convince you your wrong.
Your wife is banging this guy.

Sorry to be harsh. Leave her immediately

Originally posted by hapablab

Originally posted by KewlDaddyFatty
Well....I am not the better man. I kinda had a meltdown. I yelled quite a bit and I don't care. She had that dude call me to calm me down. He said his girlfriend was pretty upset that my wife did that and assured me that there was not anything going on... I'm done with this. My marriage is over.

she had him call you??, you had every right to have a melt down, and all you did is yell, nothing wrong with yelling.

OH...

That sounds very WRONG.

I wish to reset my advice. It's not going to work...

Leave now..



Just saw the above... HUGGG! in a manly way of course.

I wasn't going to respond.. At first but the more I got to thinking about it...

I really do feel that your wife was telling you the truth... In a way... But I think she's screaming something louder that your not picking up on...

Maybe after 9 yrs things have gotten stale?
I think she needs someone to talk to to... Someone that will listen

And not the same stale garbage


Get off your ass and take your wife on a date or at least let her know that YOU DO CARE AND WANT TO BE her friend as well as her husband.... Friends talk and do things together

Originally posted by KewlDaddyFatty
Well....I am not the better man. I kinda had a meltdown. I yelled quite a bit and I don't care. She had that dude call me to calm me down. He said his girlfriend was pretty upset that my wife did that and assured me that there was not anything going on... I'm done with this. My marriage is over.

well if that is the case, I would suggest giving her the old cold shoulder for awhile. Don't answer calls, don't talk and don't cave. If you do speak, keep emotions out of it. Just my suggestions, you know your life best but that is what I would do.

I think she needs to see that you can not only live without her but that you are just fine doing so. It is not playing games, it is letting her get a peak into the future if things stay this way. Its not over until it is over. peace.

reply to post by nofear39


then you should ask her, "what is it that you want with me?" "what is it that you want with life?" "why can we not connect?". These are good starting points. If it fades, it fades.. Doesnt mean you must get upset over her fb post. You should be worried about what pushed her to do so. Do push her, but be honest with her. Communicate.

In all honesty I would just hand her divorce papers without saying anything. You don't need a woman that goes and confides in other men, that's just plain sneaky so for me that automatically makes them a lier too. Just don't even open your mouth to speak to her leave her hanging like she just basically did to you, she made her choice. If she really wants to be with you she'll be back don't give it another thought beyond that its not worth the stress.

I am drinking now and I am alone.

Yeah, she had that dude call me. He pretty much told me nothing was going on and that they have not even seen one another since middle school. Whatever.

I don't want to continue my relationship but in all honesty I feel totally trapped. Last year, her and I seperated and I moved into an apartment. I signed a one year lease, we got back together and rented a house for her, me and the kids. I left my old lease without paying the fees to break it early, and now I cannot get a place to stay on my own until I get more cash to pay off the eviction. I have seven months left here at my current home and I cannot look at my wife without feeling anything but hate and discust towards her.

She does not want to go to counseling because I am sure she is afraid of what she may be told.

I don't really care anymore if shes banging some other dude or not. I just want out. I deserve better.

All of my family is in another state and I cannot just leave here because my children and my wife need my money to survive.

I really need help

Id say give her some space, stop snooping on her facebook and try to make her happy via surprises and other romantic gestures. Get too pushy and you'll end up pushin her on to the other man. Just do those things that remind her you're her man. Besides a little flirting here and there is pretty harmless I do it all the time but dont sleep with anyone other than my intimate.