Sounds like you're in deep, friend. You seem to have made lots of comprises and sacrifices for this girl, too much in my opinion...and from what I can tell she hasn't made much efforts on her side.

If you keep going like this you won't be helping her at all, it will simply keep her in that comfort zone of uncertainties she built for herself and she will never be able to make a righteous decision for herself.

Your love story is pretty similar to something I went through years ago with a girl that even fits the character of your girlfriend...exept it wasn't her family issue getting in the way, it was her boyfriend lol

So believe me when I tell you that relationships that start off with a constant wall between both lovers will never flourish and get better...thats reality.

Btw you're not an asshole, you're just a loverboy that cares

Originally posted by pirhanna

Many females work to be the one in the power position, and like to control men.
I am 100% for equality, but the women's movement of the last generation left my
generation of women as self centered and egotistical. There are certainly exceptions
to this, but for the most part, that's accurate. They all consider men to be the
enemy that should be exploited. They lack the basic respect that should exist
both directions between men and women.

Couldn't agree more with your rant there, I was having the same argument a couple of nights ago with a girl complaining about her boyfriend in the most childish ways. ''Thats what happens when feminist ideas are sold to little girls'' got me a beer to the face.

Anyway, to the OP stop investing so much in the pain your going through. In a year or so, you'll come back to this thread and realise the people trying to help you here were right

thanks for all your comments.. i hear where everyones coming from..

I do love her, who she is, ya know?
I do have a point where i'll say enough is enough... im getting close.. but i understand where' shes coming from and see what its like so i need to give it a little bit of time .. its worth it.. even if i lose in the end.

..sorry if i confused people but i didnt purchase a house.. i put a deposit down and signed a lease for a rental..
but it matters not..
we had a big talk today..
in the end i asked her to either be my lover or let me live my life..
... she picked up her bag n said im sorry..

ho hum its one of those days where a nice jack daniels and coke will really hit the spot.

..anyone in sydney up for a drink?

atta boy!

Congrats...

And stick with this advice from above...

simply cut her off and don't talk to her anymore, don't answer her messages, defriend her etc, don't falter, let her see she's going to lose her chance for real this time.

be a man

if she doesn't come after you [instead of you going after her as you've been doing]

she never intended to and has been playing you for a fool

ANY attempt you make to contact her will simply weaken your position. And as mentioned, if she DOESN'T come after you, then you know for sure she's been playing you all this time (which by now, you seem to know anyhow...)

Wow, I wanted to come back to this thread and read how things were 8months ago. And throw an update out there two!

I ended up staying in Sydney giving her one more chance... It was love after all!

After 2,3,4 months of the same excuses, much more bitter fighting.. it got to a point where all we did was fight and we ended up hating each other.

I threw in the towl around November, quit my job in December and shifted back home!

Now having had a couple of months to look back and wonder at how i didnt slit my wrists after such lonely misery.. I'm glad it failed, because im back home with family and friends, a new job at a law firm and such opportunity.
single, 30, no debt and a good long term career position. Wow, the crap I went through...

alas I'd like to say thanks to everyone who added their opinion! turns out, we were all right!

It destroyed her as much as me, her parents ended up threatening to kill us if we moved out together, who knows if its true but ive heard strict, old fashioned lebanese muslim parents arent above taking out their own justice.

I dont know where she is now, or how she's doing, but i hope she got through it like I did.

shed drink, she'd party we'd make out.

Muslims aren't supposed to drink at all. Pretty hypocritical if you ask me.

I'm glad things worked out for you.