(Or, “Yes, I really do have this much free time to kill”
An unauthorized Apocalypse Now
I’m still only in the Introductions forum.
Every time I think I'm going to wake up back in the Breaking News forum.
When I’d logged off after first registering, it'd been worse. In those early days as a newbie, I'd wake up and go immediately to check the ATS
Firehose first thing in the morning. The addiction was strong. I hardly said a word to my wife until I said yes to a divorce. When I was online, I
wanted to log off and be productive. When I was offline, all I could think of was getting back to ATS.
I've been here a week now. Waiting for a mission, getting softer. Every minute I lurk in this forum I get weaker. And every minute the shills and
debunkers have free reign on the board, they get a little stronger. Each time I look around the walls move in a little tighter.
Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a mission, and for my sins they gave me one. Sent it to me right over U2U like room service. It was a real
choice mission, and when it was over, I'd never want another.
There was a knock on the door.
“FailedProphet? We have orders to escort you to the Council Pub forum.”
“What’d I do?”
“What are the charges? Why am I getting banned?”
“You’re not getting banned, FailedPropet. You have orders to report the Council Pub to talk to the owners and the site admins. That's right. Come
on, FailedProphet....you still have a few hours to get cleaned up.”
"Come on in.. At ease. Want a link to the radio show ?"
“No thanks.” That &%$#ing thing was always popping on my screen and obscuring the bottom of it when I least expected it. Or needed it.
“FailedProphet…have you ever met the site owners and admins or myself?”
“No sir, not personally.”
"Your profile specifies secret banning and counter-shilling. Did you not secretly ban a rogue moderator over the too-many-Swine-Flu-threads fracas a
few years back?”
“Sir, I am unaware of any such activity or operation - nor would I be disposed to discuss such an operation if it did in fact exist. Sir.
The site owner sighed, and then got down to business.
"Kurtz was one of the most outstanding super-mods this board has ever produced. He was brilliant and outstanding in every way. And he was a good
poster, too. A man of wit, of humor. He joined our mod team.. After that, his ideas, methods…became…unsound. Now he’s crossed over into the
offtopic forums with his ragtag band of fanbois, who worship every post the man makes and swallow every troll, no matter how ridiculous. Your mission
is to proceed deep into the offtopic threads, pick up Kurtz’s path, probably somewhere in the “Post a Funny Pic” thread, and…terminate the
Supermod’s command. Terminate…with extreme prejudice.”
One of the Admins spoke up.
"He's out there operating without any decent restraint. Totally beyond the pale of anything acceptable under the Terms and Conditions. And he is still
in the field making judgment calls on sane posters. You understand, FailedProphet, that this thread does not exist, nor will it ever exist. All that
will be left at the end is that creepy 404 Men-in-Black page.”
To be continued…..
edit on 4/4/2012 by FailedProphet because: (no reason given)