posted on Apr, 9 2012 @ 03:47 AM
I used to think that the world would be a truly great place to live if everyone in it would simply just agree...as I matured I began to understand
that if a world filled with agreement was the Eden of my mind, then this agreement would necessarily have to be a world that agreed with me. Now I am
here in this time span, both gleefully mature and immature, and I have changed my mind on this agreement postulate and have determined that the world
is a great place to live for many reasons, and among them because of disagreement!
I grew up the eldest of a eight children in a boisterous Irish-Catholic-American household. My parents, being both Catholic with Irish roots, quite
naturally imbibed in liquor, and because of this, quite naturally got loud, domineering, and passionate in their arguments with each other, and with
us, their children. It was a household where one had to learn to speak up and to do so pointedly if one expected, not just to be heard, but to even
be considered. I am not sure which side of the family most of my siblings inherited this, because neither of my parents seemed to be nearly as quick
witted as my siblings. Even the "babies". (I suppose the three little girls who round out my siblings will always be "'the babies" to me as
they were born when I was a teen).
There was often emotional turmoil at home and even in public between the Zodeaux's, so I suppose having a quick wit was a necessary defense to all of
this, but it was the babies who always impressed me the most with theirs. When MSZ, one of the little babies was only five, she was given her first
purse for her birthday. The purse came with a wallet and in the wallet were mock credit-cards and other filler. Now, having seven brothers and
sisters meant that perception of property was profoundly subjective, and yet, I still had items I couldn't help but see as mine. Things I had bought
with my own hard earned money, and it never failed, things that at one point or another would disappear only to resurface at a later point in the
possession of, or in their secret box or place of stuff they called "mine".
After MSZ, my five year old sister, got her purse with this wallet, she spent many weeks scavenging for items she could use to fill her wallet. One
day, I went in to my bedroom to get my wallet and saw it on the floor with much of the contents strewn about. I panicked because I feared someone had
taken my money, but the money was all there, but other items, such as girlfriends pictures and other stuff, seemed to be missing. I had a pretty good
idea this was caused by MSZ, so I went into the den while she sat on the couch wrapped up in organizing her wallet. To this day I will never forget
how adorable she looked with her feet sticking straight out because her legs were to short to allow her knees to bend at the couch. MSZ has always
been adorable - as have been all my sisters - but still, I was pretty damned annoyed.
I confronted her and asked her if she took things from wallet. At this point MSZ had grown used to the family castigating her about taking items that
didn't belong to her. So, with an exasperated sigh she looked up at me in such a way as if to appear like a teacher busy grading papers, or some
professional buried in their work, and answered "Yes, I did." and then went back to the business of organizing her wallet. The outrage I had been
working so hard to contain was beginning to boil and I was pointed, loud, and insistent that she was going to have to learn how to respect other
people's property. She continued to organize her wallet, unimpressed, even seemingly unaware I was still in the room. The more she did this the
more I was certain she was ignoring me. Finally, I demanded to know if she was even listening to me, and again she looked up at me - almost in that
way that Janet Reno would look at someone with her glasses down on her nose so that half of her gaze was above the glasses, the other half from
through her glasses, only MSZ didn't wear glasses, but that kind of condescending look and said:
"Look JP, I can't worry about your problems right now. I've lot my Master Card, do you understand? Have you seen my Master Card?"
What was I supposed to say to that? Was she serious, or playing me? I sighed, told her I had not seen her Master Card, and went back to my bedroom
to clean up the mess she left behind. Her non-sequitur argument to my charges still stinging. This is just one example of how it went in the Zodeaux
The Zodeaux's all had to learn to accept responsibility for their own feelings if we were to ever survive each other. Such a thing is not easy, but
somehow we survived. It is not that I don't get my feelings hurt now. I do. Indeed, sometimes my feelings hurt so much I say and do things I
regret, mostly regretting I know better and have at my command more useful methods of response, but the feelings got in the way and consequences