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Commercial Break [WRC]

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posted on Apr, 4 2012 @ 07:19 AM
(Spoken in a classic “voice-over-guy” voice)

[And now, we interrupt this matinee movie, the classic “Emperor Hulm Versus the Zombie Apocalypse,” with these sanctioned words from our benevolent Overlord. The movie will return after these messages.]

(Spoken in a classic “voice-over-girl” voice)

[A family. Your family. Those of your neighbours, your fellow servants. Any could be harboring an illegal. It is your duty as a sworn patriot in these trying times to report any breaches of the Overpopulation Act, section sixteen-a of our benevolent Emperor Hulm’s Declaration of Leadership. Report any breaches of two or more children, and a reward may be given leading to the conviction of servants disobeying this important law. Because overpopulation isn’t just a crime. It’s a death sentence.
Remember. See something. Say something.]

(Spoken in a classic “redneck-voice-over-guy” voice)

[Tonight! Tonight! Tonight! Under the dome, where the air is still breathable, see those terrorists get what’s coming to them! See the criminals of society who defied the just and wise laws of our Emperor Hulm take on the might of the Zombie Horde! See it Live! Live! Live! Tickets available through the gate, or through your designated labor station! Be there! Be there! Be there!]

(Spoken in a classic “stereotypical army-guy” voice)

[Do you want to be the best you can be? Do you want challenges, and the right to use guns and bear children? Sign up today for the Registered Patriot and Weapons Service, and take our intense 10 week training course! Emperor Hulm demands peace reign in his Kingdom! You can be that peace, all down the barrel of a gun! Register now, register your children, hell, even register your wife!]
(Voice over guy again)
[Side effects may include death. Registration is mandatory for all servants over the age of ten. Side effects of refusing mandatory registration may also include death.]

(Spoken in a “happy-voice-over-guy” voice)

[This week at EveryMart! Grade B, semi-clear water, one litre, only $119.99! Only while stocks last.
Rabchickdog steaks, just $389 a kilo! Great saving! And buy any rat product this week and receive a pigeon steak at equal or lesser value! Hurry, one week only at EveryMart!]
(Jingle; “EveryMart! Where servants come to saaaave!”)

(And lastly, spoken in a “classic-voice-over guy” voice again)

[We now return you to our classic matinee movie, “Emperor Hulm Versus the Zombie Apocalypse. Stay tuned after the movie for Blood Sports results and the weather.]

ZZAPP. The TV went dead. Emperor Hulm sighed, looking at the giant 1800 foot black screen before him, wondering why he’d fought so hard to give these brain dead hicks their peace.

“God there’s some crap on TV these days.”

edit on 4-4-2012 by 74Templar because: typos

posted on Apr, 4 2012 @ 07:39 AM
reply to post by 74Templar

Very nice!
I like the dystopian future type doom and gloom ones. Short, sharp and to the brutal point.

posted on Apr, 5 2012 @ 03:04 AM
Read it out loud in the voices described....

The question posed is, is this a shot at those annoying ads we see on TV that put that shine on everything, regardless of just how crappy it is?

Or is it an attempt to show people their true place in society?

Cheers for the comment

posted on Apr, 23 2012 @ 04:09 AM
Almost missed this one. Funny.


posted on Apr, 23 2012 @ 05:10 AM
reply to post by boncho

Cheers for the comment.

When people say they write things on the fly, I almost did this one literally, in a caravan park, somewhere in rural Australia, in the middle of a 2500km cross country move.
Watched TV for the first time in a long time that night. Emperor Hulm's and my words were very similar that night.
TV hasn't improved.

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