Giuseppe's Guise

In seconds to eleven, an hour to reverence
The clocktower is struck in a lash of fierce levin
Twisted ticking hands cut in cruel severence
The gates, they tremble, as they are blasted from heaven

Armageddon's seven, elements entrenched in
Tesla's imagination, a staff swung sin
As swans sing swan songs while tumbling with broken wings

Sea of dwelling vertigo
Right-dominant guise
The ferocity of a giant
is not dependant on his size

Spellbound tears of Wadjit, the archaic, the wise
Swells then the sea to be properly baptized

Achilles acrobatic vertical jugular aftermath
The bloodbath paves the footpath
Running like the blood on the murder weapon
Red ran sheep's wool, Giuseppe's earthly emblem

Fragile prophets, they lean, on canes for the strength they lack

On splintered shattered ransacked stilts with legs intact
The arachnid guards her eggs to avoid from being snatched

The skyshore strangles the mountain side
But who's fault is to blame?

It was dependant on external forces
For the element was not tame

Melting in sheer reverence
Dipped in perplexing tones

Ashes guide his frail feet
While his ankles turn to stone

I like your use of words, but to me the poem seems to "move around" too much. This is just my opinion of course and I am no pro (I do read a lot however). I wonder if you should focus more on one theme instead of trying to bunch a whole lot of different ideas together.

Thanks for sharing!

Originally posted by ParAvion
I like your use of words, but to me the poem seems to "move around" too much. This is just my opinion of course and I am no pro (I do read a lot however). I wonder if you should focus more on one theme instead of trying to bunch a whole lot of different ideas together.

Thanks for sharing!

edit on 3-4-2012 by ParAvion because: (no reason given)

Thanks for your insight

This poem was supposed to be rather scattered, although I do get what you mean. I felt the same way after rereading it.