I have a confession to make

Recently, I just started two threads on this forum, the latter of which, in some ways, was diametrically opposed to the first. I've noticed that I have the ability or tendency to express two different opinions, which are diametrically opposed, and agree to a certain extent with both of them.

Towards the end of the earlier thread, people started accusing me of being dishonest, and being a troll, etc. I did feel at the time, as though I was making a valid point. Ditto for the Islam threads I've made; a lot of people feel a lot of conflict where Islam is concerned, and I do too. I've been trying hard to work through it, and for the most part I haven't succeeded. The Muslims on here are probably going to end up hating me after the last thread in particular, if they didn't already; and I don't blame them.

I don't feel negative towards the individual Muslims here, myself. I am honestly afraid of their religion, yes; and I continue to be. I think most of us are afraid of Islam right now. I'm scared of Islam becoming sufficiently large in the Western world, that I will eventually encounter a scenario where I will be physically surrounded by a group of Muslims, who will give me the ultimatum that I either have to convert, or I will be killed. That is the predominant image that I have inside my head, where Islam is concerned. I also very much do not want to convert to their religion, either, and would never do so voluntarily. So I can say that, looking at it, I am honestly in fear for my life where Islam is concerned at the moment...and again, I think a lot of us are.

Truthfully I went through the same thing with Atheism a few years ago. I had to get to the point where I realised that Atheists weren't exclusively out to get me; although I know that there are a lot of Atheists in the world who would prefer it if I didn't have the belief system that I do, but I know I can just avoid them now, and they aren't a real danger to me, so they don't scare me any more. I haven't reached that point with Islam; and I think the reason why, is because it seems a lot more genuinely dangerous. The threat feels a lot more real.

However, in fairness to the people who've accused me of trolling, and/or being mentally ill, (someone said they thought I was a seriously dangerous person) I've started to think that they are also correct. I'm a narcissistic troll. I'm not saying that I don't generally feel that the points I make aren't justified; but if I'm entirely honest, yes, I do post here for attention, validation, and narcissistic supply.

Although that will probably change again next month, in my current situation, I have literally no offline form of social interaction whatsoever. ATS is literally it for me right now. I don't think that is healthy; but the place I'm currently living in, is a complete social wasteland. The only people living here are the elderly. I need to go back to Nimbin; I know how much more positive I was while up there...even when I used this forum while I was living there.

So I'm aware, in closing, that I've probably destroyed my credibility here, with a number of people who I did honestly value. If that's the case, I will accept it and move on, particularly seeing as it isn't the first time I've done that, and it most likely won't be the last.

I'm now going to try and shut up for a couple of minutes...although realistically speaking, I don't think there's all that much chance of that genuinely happening.

well i would have to say it takes a true man to apologize and realize a mistake he had made. if more people realized that we wouldnt have war but war is a business. However try not to single out muslisms as they are as peaceful as any other religion

Cheers dude

s&f for your honesty.

Yeah move back no nimbin and paartay for a few months...

reply to post by petrus4

I'm scared of Islam becoming sufficiently large in the Western world, that I will eventually encounter a scenario where I will be physically surrounded by a group of Muslims, who will give me the ultimatum that I either have to convert, or I will be killed. That is the predominant image that I have inside my head, where Islam is concerned

Wow, now that has to be a perfect example of how fear can control people. Seriously dude, it's your stark indifference to Islam, and people in the Western world who are like you, that are the core reason why you truly have nothing to worry about. There is a remarkably strong opposition to the Islam religion in the Western world, it's completely and utterly ridiculous to believe it would reach the point where gangs of Muslims are roaming the streets forcing people to convert. That is such a ludicrous thought all I can do is laugh at the insanity of it. You're getting way too sucked into this whole bogus nonsense that Islam is going to take over the world and you're letting that fear control your actions and thoughts.

Turn off the am radio. Turn off FOX News, CNN, ABC, CBS and MSNBC plus any partisan media networks, blogs, conservative/religious leaning sites, etc. Occupy your free time with a hobby that does not involve politics or religion at all.

The atheist are not out to get you. The muslims are not out to get you. Blacks are not out to get you. The gays are not out to get you. Aliens, extraterrestrial or illegal, are not out to get you.

Stop being terrified. Man up!

The reality of it all is that no one is out to get you except the propaganda shills and their bosses that need your terrified, tacit support and tax dollars to further their agenda.

Dont play into the fearmongering.

Now go play wow, as I do from time to time, and be free from manufactured terror.

I appreciate your honesty as it is a characteristic that is sadly lacking in today's society.But at the same time I am going to be as blunt and honest as you, regarding my feelings towards people like you. You are a classic example of someone who's mind is not in focus at all. You my friend are weak minded and hopelessly self absorbed.
You have allowed TPTB and society in general to use your mind like a piece of clay and mould it into the form it is in right now. Unfortunately there are millions of people just like you, who by no fault of their own, do not have the mental strength to see through all the fear that is being driven into their minds to control, confuse and corrupt their very souls.We have been brainwashed into the "I am " way of thinking. It's all about me.
I feel for you I really do, and the one hope I see is the fact you have come to grips with your problem and recognize it. This is the first stage to recovery. The recovery of who you really are, what your purpose here is and who can benefit from your change. Over twenty years ago I gave up the idea of "me". I began to live life as selflessly as I possibly could. This alone changed my life forever. I had a clarity of mind I had never experienced before, I could see above all the lies , and fear's that we are constantly being bombarded with daily. I saw people in a new way. Everyone became the same. I feared no one, I feared no idea's, I stopped watching TV( this is a big factor to changing, seriously). Nothing made me afraid.
Shed your fear for things you can't control and life become's new again. The fact you are recognizing the problem mean's you are still able to be saved from yourself. The biggest obstacle to you becoming who you really are is ego. Lose your ego, humble yourself and see that life and the universe is bigger than you and you will find freedom from all the BS that the world tries to throw at you. Don't let all the games and lies that the media play be your view of the world. The biggest challenge right now for humanity is to not let TPTB pit us all against each other. This is their big end game plan. Divide and conquer. What is happening in your mind is nothing more than a microcosm of what is happening in the world right now.
Free yourself from mental slavery, focus your thoughts on only good. Take a break from social media, TV, cell phones, news, papers and just focus on the simple things in life. Go outside and walk, just walk, through the woods, listen to the silence and you will be surprised how much better you will feel about yourself and the world. Let go of your fear and free your mind. I hope you can understand that breaking through the barrier you are behind now will not be easy, but small steps lead to big leaps and your admission is a small step toward's the new you.

reply to post by mark1167
"focus your thought on only good"
your advice was good and sound. I try daily to pull myself out of my preprogramming and better myself. I often backslide. I use a inner statement practically identical to "focus your thought on only good" to put myself on the right track and push out whatever "stinkin thinkin" I'm allowing to happen.
My inner statement usally goes like this, "focus, put yourself back on track, think don't react, show love, be in control"

Thank you for taking time to put down your thoughts. You have reached at least one person, Me

PS I also wanted to add that I enjoyed your entire post and agreed with all of your advice.

Peace!

reply to post by grubblesnert

Thank's for the post.
If someone can just make a difference in "one" person's life then all is good. I have to be honest, I have day's like the OP when everything seem's to be crashing down around me and I feel like I have no control over my thoughts, but those day's are few and far between compared to long ago. I am not perfect as is no one, but if we can take back control over our own mind's and stop as much pollution from entering our thought's, we are one step closer to breaking free from our fear's. Remember we control our minds, our mind's don't control us.

S & F for being able to look at yourself truthfully and then to be able to share that truth with others. I have watched and even interacted in some threads with you and hope to continue to do so in the future.

I think a lot of posters on ATS are here simply to boast to themselves, nothing new. I understand what it is like to not have a social atmosphere beyond the Internet. I haven't been social since I was disabled in an accident in 2009 but I am starting to get out a little more. I bough a metal detector and I'm using that for exercise and hobby.

Take it from me, it is lonely to be social only with your computer. Move back and party away.

Are you by any chance a Gemini? Haha, most of us are like that. Wishy washy, can see both sides to most arguments. Just a thought.

Originally posted by Christarella
Are you by any chance a Gemini? Haha, most of us are like that. Wishy washy, can see both sides to most arguments. Just a thought.

Three planet, eleventh house solar Aquarian. Libra North Node; Venus conjunct Chiron and ascendant in Aries in 12, opposed Pluto in Libra in 7. My avatar can be considered the embodiment of my Aries, Mars trine Pluto, Moon square Pluto, and Orcus in Cancer.

So no, I'm not Geminian as such, but I am very much two personalities in one, in many ways. One is pacifist. The other is the direct opposite. Saturn and Pluto are also my two most heavily aspected natal planets. So you could say I'm somewhat intense.