posted on Apr, 2 2012 @ 08:37 PM
Recently, I just started two threads on this forum, the latter of which, in some ways, was diametrically opposed to the first. I've noticed that I
have the ability or tendency to express two different opinions, which are diametrically opposed, and agree to a certain extent with both of them.
Towards the end of the earlier thread, people started accusing me of being dishonest, and being a troll, etc. I did feel at the time, as though I was
making a valid point. Ditto for the Islam threads I've made; a lot of people feel a lot of conflict where Islam is concerned, and I do too. I've
been trying hard to work through it, and for the most part I haven't succeeded. The Muslims on here are probably going to end up hating me after the
last thread in particular, if they didn't already; and I don't blame them.
I don't feel negative towards the individual Muslims here, myself. I am honestly afraid of their religion, yes; and I continue to be.
I think most of us are afraid of Islam right now. I'm scared of Islam becoming sufficiently large in the Western world, that I will eventually
encounter a scenario where I will be physically surrounded by a group of Muslims, who will give me the ultimatum that I either have to convert, or I
will be killed. That is the predominant image that I have inside my head, where Islam is concerned. I also very much do not want to convert to their
religion, either, and would never do so voluntarily. So I can say that, looking at it, I am honestly in fear for my life where Islam is concerned at
the moment...and again, I think a lot of us are.
Truthfully I went through the same thing with Atheism a few years ago. I had to get to the point where I realised that Atheists weren't exclusively
out to get me; although I know that there are a lot of Atheists in the world who would prefer it if I didn't have the belief system that I do, but I
know I can just avoid them now, and they aren't a real danger to me, so they don't scare me any more. I haven't reached that point with Islam; and
I think the reason why, is because it seems a lot more genuinely dangerous. The threat feels a lot more real.
However, in fairness to the people who've accused me of trolling, and/or being mentally ill, (someone said they thought I was a seriously dangerous
person) I've started to think that they are also correct. I'm a narcissistic troll. I'm not saying that I don't generally feel that the points I
make aren't justified; but if I'm entirely honest, yes, I do post here for attention, validation, and narcissistic supply.
Although that will probably change again next month, in my current situation, I have literally no offline form of social interaction whatsoever. ATS
is literally it for me right now. I don't think that is healthy; but the place I'm currently living in, is a complete social wasteland. The only
people living here are the elderly. I need to go back to Nimbin; I know how much more positive I was while up there...even when I used this forum
while I was living there.
So I'm aware, in closing, that I've probably destroyed my credibility here, with a number of people who I did honestly value. If that's the case,
I will accept it and move on, particularly seeing as it isn't the first time I've done that, and it most likely won't be the last.
I'm now going to try and shut up for a couple of minutes...although realistically speaking, I don't think there's all that much chance of that