It wasn't what you expected, it wasn't anything like that at all.

My father, the creator of this dimension, in several bouts of Alzheimers, simply forgot what he was doing. He sent me back to be crucified, all well and good, but the translation of the effect got lost in a bout of sneezing.

I was PO'd. The humans misconstrued things. I returned home, and started plotting the takeover. Free to do what I pleased after my sacrifice, I started engineering this huge spaceship. I felt that there were enough people left on the planet to save, and since I'm not a numerologist, I let them decide on a crew of 144,000. Big ship, yeah, the way it should be for a new colony ship, as the records in the archives had a ship only half the size. Final size would be about the distance across the USA, about 5400 miles. We've already christened her the "New Jerusalem", as a play on words, as it is written.

Oh yeah, I'm going back.

Going back to kick butt and take names.

See, I'm not too happy about the reception I got last time, and I spent 33 frikken years trying to show you guys the true path. You twisted stuff, molded it into nonsense, and believed what you thought was right. You guys lost the original message, and now I'm peeved. (Oh God, I wish the T&C of ATS allowed me to cuss as a sailor would!)

My spaceship was done a few hundred years ago, and we are en route to your little planet. ETA is late December of this year. It is a colony ship, and we ARE going to pick up people, those who never let themselves get tainted by religion, and also those who figured out the nonsense. We have "many mansions" here, plenty of room.

The earth isn't worth saving anymore. There are too many pesticides in the soil, too much pollution in the air, and too many greedy people to reverse the effects you have caused in the past 2000 and 12 years. We have to do a purge.

We'll settle into orbit first, and as you see the starship circling your planet, you should make yourselves right. Those who are, we'll beam aboard. You'll KNOW who you are.

From the orbit we establish, we'll have to renovate the earth with fire, purging all the pestilence you have created. We've developed a quantum phase torpedo, which is a very nasty bomb, incorporating dark matter in the payload, and reversing transposition states. It basically turns everything inside out. We've called the technology the "Wormwood", as it is written. We'll remain in orbit for about 7 years, then we'll land. Calculations state that most of the current bacteria will have eradicated most life. Don't worry, we have plenty of DNA samples to re-seed with. From there on out, we'll accept new colonists on the basis of righteousness, and yes, at each of the twelve docks is a nano-clone called St. Peter. That was meant as a private joke, but the old man insisted.

From there, we'll see how it works out. We anticipate 1000 years of peacefulness, and we'll idle the engines for that long, but afterwards, being a colony ship, we'll need to make our way to the stars again. Earth will continue; as a new colony, under observation, as always.

I want this in my profile page...... This is mine now....I am taken off anyway...........poor and ... The devil yeah right this is a fed site anyway, whatever this is mine now.

I like it! Probably would have been the angle that I would have gone with, if I were entering this contest. I won't be, but I will be looking at the entries.

S&F

I am sorry I read your post thread really quick then logged off but stayed on the site for about 45 minutes. I assumed people were avoiding me and I was blacklisted. I assumed because of a negative reaction people were waiting for me to leave, and then the party started.

I also posted something similar on the contest page which you have probably read and posted afterwards. I was having a meltdown that day, because of stresses in life. Through quick read I assumed you were being sarcastic and meant me. People call me the devil on this site, which I think is a bad rap . I didn't read it right and it is an amazing story. I shouldn't of typed my thoughts but it was going to be a final sanorra . Years ago there was this huge problem with the site where the whole site protested me and they assumed I was trying to put myself in Gods image or something I don't know. Again I am sorry, it was an interesting read , read correctly. A lot of religious on this site.

The Savior, a petulant teenager, who is returning with a giant smiting stick! Clever and entertaining story