posted on Apr, 4 2012 @ 06:24 AM
I read this thread from first to previous last post, because I am going through this myself. My husband has had multiple back surgeries and is
becoming overweight due to his inability to be a active as he once was. Back when we met, he was 180 lbs., 5'11 and built like a stallion. The sex
used to be MINDBLOWING. Now days, I encourage him to do what he can do, and he does enjoy hunting and once in a while, he will ride bikes with me.
Anyway...sex went from a pretty much everyday thing to here and there after the first surgery, then after the second...it waned even more. Now, that
he has had the third one just two years ago (with a titanium rod in his spine) I have come to just forget about it. The meds he is on also keeps him
with no drive. I try and initiate, only to hear him say he hurts, or he just took his meds, which is often. Of course, I respect that. I won't lie, I
have come close to an affair once in this time frame, but I did not "do it" with the guy. I'm so proud of myself for that. It's tough though,
because you feel jipped so to speak, especially if your spouse is not only not having sex with you, but they are also drastically different from when
you met while you more or less have (physically) remained the same or gotten better.
I can definitely relate to the feeling of being room mates more than spouses and lovers! I feel like that quite often and I tell him how I feel. He
assures me that he loves me and I believe him. I love him too, otherwise, I would be finding some from somewhere. I really wish I had something
reassuring to tell you, but I don't. I have just forgotten about sex for the most part. When we do have it, it's not even really good anymore
anyway, and I'm not attracted to him anymore. Is she attracted to you? As for me, I just don't have the heart to leave him since he's injured, and
I love the person he is inside, so leaving for so superficial a reason as no sex after nearly 10 years seems quite shameful. Men can whack and stuff
and that helps you guys, right? You know, with a "movie" or a mag? I wish it were that easy for us girls that aren't into the whole B.O.B deal. I
just try and burn it all out on my runs or in the gym...that works for me. I read a lot. I bought a $3,000 telescope and I spend nights looking into
the heavens. I enjoy cooking. I draw and paint. Find new and creative ways to express yourself and satiate other desires. Oh, and the occasional and
random freaky dream where you get an explosive orgasm helps out too. I guess that's my own body's way of "compensating".
I understand your pain and I wish you well.