posted on Mar, 30 2012 @ 05:41 AM
OP, where can I start?
I'd just like to say, that I am in the same situation, though it is ME who doesn't get the 'urges'.
I have been with my man for 5 years, and we have a 3 year old child.
He is not quite at his wits end with me yet lol, but we do have a good old chat about this problem.
I am currently under medical attention due to having poly cystic ovaries. As you know, the ovaries are part of the reproductive system, which in turn
affects the female libido. Due to the nature of the issue, my ovaries do not work as they should, affecting my menstrual cycle and my sex drive.
If I had to look at my sex drive being the floors in a house, the roof being the highest point of the sex drive, I'd have to say mine would be below
the basement, situated in the Indian burial ground
I've explained to him, that I find him attractive, and I love him with every part of me, but my sexual desire is non-existant. This isn't because of
him, but because of the medical position I am in.
Furthermore, with PCOS, it has affected me physically, as I have gained a lot of weight, and it is hard to manage, despite a constant careful diet and
exercise classes at the gym 3-4 times a week. While he doesn't find the physical changes an issue in his desire for me, I find them an issue. I
don't feel sexy.
You said you didn't want her to 'put up with' your desire, and that's completely fair, just as I don't want to feel like I'm "doing my duty".
Haha, thinking on it, I kinda see it as we behave like a couple in our later years, he'll come up behind me and plant a kiss on me, or give me a
cuddle, or cup a boob (lol) and I'll swat him away and call him a pest (in jest).
You guys have been together a long time, and a good honest talk about how she feels about herself, and how you feel about her could really help change
how you both see things.
If she is still the light of your life, and you'd walk over hot coals for her, and you still see her as being the apple of your eye, do tell her.
Sometimes I feel like I don't want to tell my other half that I feel fat or ugly, because it's like that same old song that a million other women
sing. I feel as though men get fed up with hearing it, and so feelings like that get buried.