Advice for a girl that cant seem to get a date?

reply to post by SavedOne

Don't worry about it, guys are way too emotionally immature to be dating in high school anyway

And women are any more mature at that age? Please...we are both way too screwed up and confused at that age to entertain a SERIOUS relationship...

But, that isn't what we're talking about here. The OP just wants to date. That doesn't mean she's looking to get hitched or to throw her legs in the air for a guy....

And there is nothing wrong with just going out on dates. Just be smart, and if it looks like the situation is rounding third for a slide into home plate...make sure your bases are covered, if you know what I mean... You don't want to be a teen mom.

Good luck OP!

(even if you really are a guy typing away with Cheetohs stained fingers)...

I'd say go ahead and make the move yourself but don't get discouraged and upset if you are turned down. It happens when you are dating or looking to date. I use to be kind of shy but when I got older I made the first move. I will not wait around for a guy to ask me out. If I am interested I will ask him out.

I saw someone tell you to tone down your humor, DONT do that! Be yourself! Don't be someone you aren't for anyone. If you can't be you, they don't deserve you Also don't tell a guy he is funny when he isn't. If you get into a relationship and you really hate his humor but tell him you like it, it will cause problems. Always be upfront and honest with a potential partner.

Good luck

reply to post by AK907ICECOLD


dont listen to this user they obviously have their own issues
theres a big difference between a fat girl taking advantage of a drunk at t a bar and anyone finding a date in highschool with the latter being much more difficult

truth be told dating isnt all it's cracked up to be anyways
i never had a good relationship in grade school (tho i had 2 or 3 #ty ones)
while #ty they are helpful to learn from

anyways im sure there is that special guy waiting for you
i think its also important not to expect that your first date has to be perfect either
dont get psyched out and anxious and think your first date has to be a prince on a pedestal
sometimes you gotta slay a few dragons before you get prince charming

lots of people have given great advise already, like talking to your girlfriends to get you hooked up
i would suggest to wear low cut shirts and a skirt but that isnt even necessary and could intimidate boys further

truth is though if you make the first move, no guy could really say no unless they are gay

Aw sweetie. High school sucks. LOL

Confidence is everything. I was one of the most attractive out of my friends, but never got the guy. I was shy and meek and had no confidence.
That was a lifetime ago (atsers feel free to make cracks XD

But how you carry yourself is everything.

reply to post by novemberecho


ACK

reply to post by trust_no_one


Looked here buddy. Cats are cats, but the meows are different. keep and open mind, fat, ugly, no social skills, old man, don't get hard on me. you only know what I do from the OP. Its like a full grown man in the woods with friends and a great kill and on the fire, and the one weak one says, ewwww, gross, I can't eat that! But I'm soooo hungry, is there anything else, and that individual will not do what is nesscesary to obtain their goal, or idea, lost in why their problem isn't solved, in the meantime, everyone else is wondering what the hell is the matter with you.

The thing is, you do have to, in a way, go out of your comfort zone to get what you want in life.

EXAMPLES:
You want money- go get a job
You are hungry- go find something to eat
You want a friend-make one, meet one
You want to call a friend???? dial a number and call, doesn't mean they answer, but try again, or another..
you want a relationship------ just go get one, quit sitting on your butt at the computer or be too busy, do, not try.

Its a vicious trail in error in life, nothing is free, and if it is, you do not learn the proper life skills, IMO

IMO don't listen to his advice, he probably met his on some matchcrap.com site, just have fun in life and be who you really are and when somebody sees the real you, that appreciation grows in to wonderful and beautiful things.

your advice is horrible, but OP, what doesn't apply, let it fly. or should she not listen to that too?

TNO: is this a ... woman?? Obivious there were issues with you if they were bad relationships in grade school, who the hell in their right mind starts that early. but just for more info what is your def, as grade school?

reply to post by eyesontheskies


Hello, i am the supposed four hundred pound cheeto dust fingers guy.

I have terrible experience with women but men I can tell you all about.

First off, it all depends on what kind of guys you are attracted too. If you are attracted to the "hot" preppy guys, I can't help you you'll have to figure out that mistake yourself.

If you are interested in the normal average guys, or the nerdy guys I would advise talking to them. These groups of guys are very intimidated by beautiful girls, and instinctively believe they are out of their league. Try asking them how they are doing, give them a minxy smile, look them in the eye then look away fast, or play with your hair. These are all basic ways of conveying attraction, most of the guys in these groups will be flabbergasted at first thinking it's not directed at them but if you make it obvious they will make a move.

As for people saying you should change things about yourself don't listen, real men want a woman that will be herself and speak her mind. Also talk about intelligent conversations, only the jerks want an airhead. This may be hard in high school but it is possible, it will also raise your credentials wit the boys who aren't just looking for a one night stand.

Well that's my advice; I hope it helps, and good luck.

reply to post by KwisatzHaderach


She's in high school, so not interested in nerdy guys.

Women don't become interested in them unless they are nerdy gals, or later on when those nerdy guys have done something with their lives, while the ex-quarterback is flipping burgers or selling people used cars.

reply to post by Gazrok


Idk i like nerdy guys, i mean not the really ugly ones i guess and i dont consider myself nerdy. I mean im pretty smart i guess but definitely not nerdy. I find that i have way more riveting conversations with the "nerdy" guys than i do with the jock guys who, for some reason, assume that im super interested in hearing them talk about how often they lift weights lol

Originally posted by eyesontheskies
reply to post by Gazrok

 

Idk i like nerdy guys, i mean not the really ugly ones i guess and i dont consider myself nerdy. I mean im pretty smart i guess but definitely not nerdy. I find that i have way more riveting conversations with the "nerdy" guys than i do with the jock guys who, for some reason, assume that im super interested in hearing them talk about how often they lift weights lol

Well it is the 21st Century, why not seek out that which you like? Of course it requires a great deal of tact. If you want to ask a guy out, make sure you do it alone, after a conversation is started. In front of other people, or too bluntly, you run the risk of spooking the young guy into a knee jerk reaction(a reaction that wouldn't be what the guy even really wants).

Happy hunting, and good luck. Because if you spend your entire life waiting for others, you will only spend it watching life go by you. And you can get a better quality relationship by actively sorting and deciding whom you want to date.

Originally posted by mainidh
reply to post by eyesontheskies

 

*posts relationship issues on large conspiracy based website*

*wonders why single*

True?

Yesss this is the answer.I'm sure this will be removed as off topic.But this isn't facebook.This does not belong on ATS.Not the op's post but the forum.but who am I to second guess the owner

Originally posted by eyesontheskies
reply to post by Gazrok

 

Idk i like nerdy guys, i mean not the really ugly ones i guess and i dont consider myself nerdy. I mean im pretty smart i guess but definitely not nerdy. I find that i have way more riveting conversations with the "nerdy" guys than i do with the jock guys who, for some reason, assume that im super interested in hearing them talk about how often they lift weights lol

you like nerdy guys so long as they're not ugly?I'm going to go ahead and guess from this post that the problem isn't them it's you.But really you sound like a typical teenager.We all sounded just like you when we were kids.And yes,that's what you are.Maybe we should have a new forum for teenage issues

reply to post by TheXoor

TextYour best bet is to stop trolling teh intrawebs as a woman and admit you are a guy.

I stopped reading this thread at this particular post because it had 16 damn stars.

Day late and a dollar short.

Maybe try some compassion and empathy while you SEARCH FOR TRUTH before you judge, but I suppose my hypocritical self shouldn't judge YOU since I stopped reading the thread at that point.

I'm sure you must have had a logical explantion several posts later.

OP.. nothing wrong with not having dates in high school. Might be hard to realize at the moment, but high school is really just a very tiny moment in your life.

I am middle age with a beautiful wife and 4 fantastic kids. I had a total of one date in high school.

The best is yet to come for you!!

reply to post by nightstalker78


Ok yeah my bad that does sound like im a pretty mean person. I shouldnt have used the word ugly, nobody is ugly. But yeah i do tend to be more attracted to guys that i think are good looking, is that so wrong? Im not as conceited as i sound on here. All i meant was that i dont only go for "jocks"

reply to post by eyesontheskies


Sorry Op I tend to lean to what TheXoor said on page one.

It is kind of hard and quite a stretch of the imagination for us to believe that. I mean if you came on here and said you were a alien from another galaxy I think you might get more people to believe you, as it could be and happen.

But really a girl in her senior year of high school who gets "cute guys" flirting with her. By the way I have no clue what a cute guy is, but I assume it's a good thing. Anyways what i am saying fat chance in us believing your story bro!

No really quit trolling this thread, I don't think I have seen one girl when that age who could not get a date especially if these "cute guys" just mysteriously happen to flirt with her. In fact by that age if I think back I don't cant think of one girl who did or could not get a date or whatever, in'fact most of the had a few boyfriends and some even had a few on the side here and there. And if anybody actually thought back to there senior high school years as well they would probably see the same story.

Your story has more holes in it then Swiss cheese bro.

Not saying you are lying, but ya if by some miracle you actually are a girl...Then your problem is easily rectified, don't think so much about stuff and do more. It should not be that hard, just go to were people hang out and were guys are, and something will come along eventually.

What that something is...That however is just a factor of life and chances. But those factors will not happen if you do not go and try.

reply to post by galadofwarthethird

LOL Ok i honestly am telling the whole truth. I didnt get pretty until like 9th grade so i still didnt have experience in the dating area even then and i was sort of geeky before then and was in the marching band so my theory is that even though im not geeky anymore and i am prettier guys still are embarrassed to be dating me, AND what guy wants to be some girls first bf in their senior year of high school. That seems sort of embarrassing for them. Idk what do you all think about that theory?

Originally posted by eyesontheskies
reply to post by galadofwarthethird

 

LOL Ok i honestly am telling the whole truth. I didnt get pretty until like 9th grade so i still didnt have experience in the dating area even then and i was sort of geeky before then and was in the marching band so my theory is that even though im not geeky anymore and i am prettier guys still are embarrassed to be dating me, AND what guy wants to be some girls first bf in their senior year of high school. That seems sort of embarrassing for them. Idk what do you all think about that theory?

This definitely sounds authentic to me, I don't think a guy could have made that up, or would have bothered to. Anyway... I was reading some dating research online, and it said that guys tend to go for the super-hot girls, but not ones that are simply cute, even if the cute ones are pretty attractive.

Anyway, in high school, there is a lot of risk associated with asking a girl out. I bet there are guys who like you, but would never dream of asking you out because they think something horrible would happen. Do you have any guys you hang out with a lot?

Okay, I slept on it and I have some advice.

1) Don't compromise who you are to be popular or get a guy. If you liked marching band, stay in it. If you don't like it, that's fine, too lol. Guys that are worth it actually like girls who are themselves more than girls who act certain ways to become more popular.

2) Don't necessarily go for the guys that are super-hot and popular. They might be jerks, or have a lot of girls to fend off already. Instead, look for guys who are cute or sort of popular if you want.

3) When you find a guy you like, you should make a move, but a different kind of move. If you have something in common with him, share experiences with him. Hang out with him. Be interested in who he is and what he does or has to say. Then that should get you started.

4) In the long term, like the future, guys with common interests and compatible personalities might be smarter to date than someone for his looks. This is because they will be spending a lot of time with you, maybe even living with you, and you might not have the opportunity to have as many close friends as you do now.

Hope I helped.

Just to make it clear, i am NOT in marching band anymore that was a long time ago and i didnt quit to be popular because popularity just does not interest me one bit.

reply to post by eyesontheskies


I'd guess it's that they're intimidated by you. I'm a sophomore, and most of the time that my friends DON'T ask a girl out, it's because they're afraid. And surprisingly often they're more afraid of the girls saying "Yes". From the sound of it, I'd guess that you're their unicorn of sorts. Highly intelligent, very beautiful, and very difficult to catch. Possible, yes, but darn difficult, and they wouldn't know what to do if they succeeded.

Originally posted by eyesontheskies
I mean i would think that the problem is just that i need to make the first move but surely not every guy i have come in contact with in my life only dates girls who make the first move.

Not likely. But from my personal experiences guys are afraid of finding out that a girl that they think likes them, doesn't. So they could also be afraid that they're misunderstanding things. If that's the case they'd want to know for sure that you're interested before they ask you out. The best advice I could give you for that is directly asking them if they're interested in you. If they get that deer in the headlights look, you've either guessed EXTREMELY wrong (which I doubt, you seem to be a very intelligent person), or you've guessed right on the money and they have no clue what to do.

Originally posted by eyesontheskies
Just to make it clear, i am NOT in marching band anymore that was a long time ago and i didnt quit to be popular because popularity just does not interest me one bit.

Off topic, but as a MB person myself, I'm curious why you quit. Too much drama?