Misunderstandings

This isn't so much a rant as it is an observation about people that rubs me the wrong way.

There are people in this world who are very sensitive emotionally and are withdrawn into themselves for whatever reason. They don't associate with other people to the extent that most people do and, as a result, are misunderstood by others. This misunderstanding often takes on a note of negativity by the ones who judge these quiet people. They call them wierd, a snob, a b*tch......you name it and there's a negative label for them. More often than not the people who are being misjudged like this let it roll off their shoulders and say "Oh, that's alright".

Well, no, it's not. Not in my book. I used to be one of those quiet people when I was much younger and I can tell you from personal experience that it hurts to be misunderstood and called things that I really wasn't. When this happens to a person long enough one of two things will happen. They will start turning into the type of person they're being judged as; as a way of dealing with those hurt feelings, or they'll start medicating those feelings to where they wont hurt anymore. Some people choose alcohol, some drugs, while others will immerse themselves in work so they wont have to feel a lot of emotions. Because whenever they do, they're feelings of loneliness and hurt because they feel no one is on their side.

Something else people need to stop doing is pushing them to be something they're not. If they have any shortcomings at all, they know what they are and they'll deal with them on their own terms and in their own time. They're shy, not stupid. Chances are, the more you push them the more they'll go back in their shell. That's the way it was with me at least. And I did that because I didn't really trust that they had my best interests in mind. They were doing it for whatever reasons THEY had.

People need to open their eyes and realize that just because someone does things in a different way than you, it doesn't make them weird or socially retarded. Everyone is different and has grown up under different circumstances that made them what they are. If they don't open up to you it's probably because they feel you wouldn't understand them, and if you hold their shy, quiet ways agsinst them by putting negative labels on them....they're right. You wouldn't understand because you're too quick to judge. I can all but guarentee you that they're not judging you or talking about you behind their back, so the least you can do is return the favor.

Get to know them sometime and you might be surprised at how intelligent, honest, and real they are. They don't want your sympathy and they certainly don't want you looking at them as some sort of "project". You won't see them being loud and proud about things and you certainly wont see them pretending to be something they're not just for the sake of fitting in somewhere. They're real, which is much more than I can say about the people who pass false judgement against them.

Rant over.

People like that from my experience don't like to be loud and boisterous and make idiots of themselves because they want to sit back, observe, and take action (if needed) on their own terms and when they think it is right to do so.

I was labelled as one of 'those' kinds of people when I was younger, and I still get that label to this day.

It still bugs me but not as much as it used to.

Now I hate to take this in another direction (as I know this is your 'rant' to get the steam out) but it's not going to change no matter how much you want it to. People for the most part are driven by habit, and if it's their habit to call someone who's quiet a freak, or something similar, then chances are they will continue that habit until they are 6ft under.

Most people are also ignorant, self-centered assholes. But that's another topic for another thread all-together.

S&F for you for having the sack to put all this out there though.

I misunderstand ATS as a washed-up and no longer being a conspiratorial website switching their content over to USER-GENERATED CONTENT website... that is without anyone ever even noticing it.

That is what I misunderstand.

Originally posted by ArrowsNV

Most people are also ignorant, self-centered assholes. But that's another topic for another thread all-together.

So true. I'm still quiet, but not for the same reasons as when I was younger. I broke through my shell a LONG time ago, but when I still see it happening to other people, it just pisses me off.

Same here.

I just prefer solitude. I find it peaceful. In fact, I need it to recharge my batteries.

I've been called snob, stuck-up, etc. I've had folks accuse me of selfishness and worse when I decline an invitation to a big party. It's not that I don't like people; I do. But I've got to have my "me time."

Luckily, my husband understands me and accepts me.

Hugs to you all

reply to post by maestromason


I've been looking in to the back ground of ATS, so I know where I stand if you know what I mean...I certainly found some interesting stuff

Controversial subjects, high profile members, suspicious bannings, things brushed under the carpet.....

Still, the only website with a layout my attention to detail can deal with lol.

Beautifully stated, OP.

People who are shy are often labeled "anti-social" or a host of other insulting names.

I too am one of those people. I choose to stay away from others, except for a select few family and friends. I don't deal well with crowds and with people who are obnoxious and feel like they have to put a label on everybody. I spent many years trying to force my square-peg self into the expected social standard, and I gave up some years ago.

I am not lonely. I am at peace now. Thank God I'm retired and don't have to deal with the office politics and B.S. that often goes with people thrown together in a situation. Don't get me wrong, I like people, as individuals, but a group of them acting with a group mentality is just too much for me to handle.

reply to post by maestromason


So why are you still here? Why don't you set an example and get this "washed-up" site back on track?

And while you're at it, have a go at the people who shoot down every single conspiracy thread with insults, innuendos, and statements like "You morons will believe anything, and look for conspiracies where there is none."

They are the real reason hardly anybody sticks their neck out anymore and creates threads about controversial subjects.

Originally posted by FissionSurplus
reply to post by maestromason

 

So why are you still here?

Hope is why I am still here FissionSurplus.

reply to post by Sinny


So have I Sinny!....and I know exactly what you are talking about!

I wonder why all the other forums have to be laid out so 90's?? It really grinds my gears, I like ATS, I wouldn't fall in love with it tho