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I'm getting sick of this journey..

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posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 04:47 PM
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I've been, almost daily, stressing out and thinking and trying to deal with my "spiritual journey" for the last year and a half or so. Sometimes there will be days where everything is perfect and I'm empowered, and as happy as can be, then other times where I'm absolutely disempowered, disconnected, and frustrated with everything.

I don't know what to believe anymore, but I do know that as I change the world reflects that. I'm having relationship issues (my significant other and I may be parting our separate ways soon, which neither of us want but we both have a feeling that it's going to happen) and it seems almost every other person I know or read about is experiencing the same thing. Every problem that I'm experiencing, so is other people. I can't find a job, nor do I want one. I feel forced into looking for employment, and I'm actually pretty miserable about that.

I've been emailing a few people, listening to bashaar, listening to mooji, and just reading and contemplating, and it only leads to me stressing out. I keep getting stuck in loops of thoughts and beliefs, and I'm just getting sick of it. I remember when I believed and look forward to december 21st 2012, believing that something magical was going to happen and save me from all of my problems, but now I don't even believe that. I feel lost, alone, and I'm pretty much losing faith in everything.

I used to be afraid of things like the illuminati, GMO, flouride, whether I'll make the ascension or not, and some other things like aliens and whatnot, but I'm not afraid and couldn't care less about any of that anymore.. now it boils down to my relationship with my significant other (which that situation is BEYOND complicated, I won't even bother explaining that, I'll just say that we both want to be together but something is preventing it).

It seems like I'm being stripped down of everything that I love and enjoy. I'm just so sick of this back and forth crap. I feel as if everything and everybody aside from me is god, and it's all just playing some frustrating game with me for some reason or another...

If that's the case, I just hope that me and my significant other can look back one day and laugh at all of this BS that's happening.. and I hope it's soon, because at this point I'm seriously getting fed up.




posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 04:50 PM
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reply to post by OhNoItsCritical
 


Let go of yourself.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 04:51 PM
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Originally posted by OhNoItsCritical
I've been, almost daily, stressing out and thinking and trying to deal with my "spiritual journey" for the last year and a half or so. Sometimes there will be days where everything is perfect and I'm empowered, and as happy as can be, then other times where I'm absolutely disempowered, disconnected, and frustrated with everything.
[...]
If that's the case, I just hope that me and my significant other can look back one day and laugh at all of this BS that's happening.. and I hope it's soon, because at this point I'm seriously getting fed up.

Well, we'll all be dead pretty soon, anyway, so there's no sense getting all stressed out about it. None of us really live very long on the planet. And time accelerates as you get older. So why worry? It'll all be over sooner than you know it, and then it will all retrospectively, holographically vanish into oblivion. What an existence, huh?



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 04:59 PM
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reply to post by Blue Shift
 

And yet for something so ephemeral and fleeting, when we look around, it appears to be rather persistent.. ?



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 05:01 PM
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Originally posted by soulshn
reply to post by OhNoItsCritical
 


Let go of yourself.
^

Ego is a heavy weight for an illusion. Your journey would be a lot easier if you just moved on and accepted all the bumps on the road, rather than get sick and tired of those bumps and sit around dwelling upon them. The more you think upon the negatives in your life, the more negatives you manifest in your life. Strive for a balance at least. Speaking of mooji, I remember a video he said of one of the greatest mantras known to us: "Thank you." Your frustration, too, is part of your journey.

edit on 29/3/12 by AdamsMurmur because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 05:01 PM
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listen to terrance mckenna if youve never heard of him...or even if you have...he goes pretty deep into reality and finding his talks help take me out of depression...you can find him on youtube...or find a podcast called psychdelic salon an there are many hours of his lectures there...hang in there..everything is perception and you control that.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 05:02 PM
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reply to post by OhNoItsCritical
 


take the rough with the smooth. spoonfuls of turd are great for inspiration.
2nd
f.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 05:03 PM
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Originally posted by BDIDDY425
listen to terrance mckenna if youve never heard of him...or even if you have...he goes pretty deep into reality and finding his talks help take me out of depression...you can find him on youtube...or find a podcast called psychdelic salon an there are many hours of his lectures there...hang in there..everything is perception and you control that.
Haha, speaking of him, I'm listening to this right now. Two hours into it.
I love how he thinks, absolute pleasure to listen to.
edit on 29/3/12 by AdamsMurmur because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 05:08 PM
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reply to post by OhNoItsCritical
 


Just want to let you know that your not alone. I could've written your post myself for its exactly how I feel. Keep trying to stay positive.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 05:16 PM
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OP,

I don't mean to imply anything, but have you considered checking with your doctor? Many of the feelings you posted are symptoms of major depression. If that is the case, then your doctor may be able to help you get a grip on your emotions so that you can deal with the areas in your life that need improvement.

Regardless, you should know that every thought and feeling you have cause a chemical reaction in the brain. Long term negative thoughts can lead to physical changes in the brain.

Luckily, the reverse is also true. Happy thoughts and emotions release endorphins that soothe. You can achieve this same effect by engaging in strenuous exercise. Also, sunlight plays a role. Make sure you're getting plenty of sunshine.

Finally, you need to deal with the issues causing your problems. Avoidance won't make things better. As you already experienced, trying to ignore what's bothering you will never relieve your anxiety.

Best of luck to you



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 05:18 PM
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I feel the exact same way op. Like the previous individual said, I could have made this post about myself word for word.

The only thing to do is keep breathing, and see what happens next.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 05:19 PM
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I can usually stay positive, but sometimes it's just difficult.

The worst feeling that I feel lately is that everything that happens is my fault, going into the whole Law of Attraction thing.

I sometimes feel like I'm god, the only real thing in the universe, and that everything in the universe happens because I want it to consciously/subconsciously. This makes me feel lonely, and afraid, and hopeless. I remember the first time I felt divine was on a psychedelic trip.. that's kind of what started all of this spiritual journey. I remember I felt that the earthquake in japan was all my fault, and I cried for hours.

Don't even get me going into my knife story (that I posted at www.abovetopsecret.com... ), that's been freaking me out more and more. Did I make it happen or predict it? Still no insight there.

Sorry to use this forum as a rant, but it helped. life my mood a little.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 05:29 PM
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reply to post by OhNoItsCritical
 


Take a deep breath, take a step back, and realise that existence is just a mysterious ride, it could be just a prank as far as I know. You have to learn to enjoy things, some people spend their entire life enjoying birds, just birds, just that. Take a look at quantum physics and all the weird things that have been discovered so far, it's mind blowing. Talk to people about some of the topics that bother you, and see if they feel the same as you. Visualize the entire universe, with the billions of galaxies, all those stars, all those planets, all that space, and us here on that little planet, and realise that it's very real, you have to feel it. Realise that we are just mammals and relax, none of this is serious, and you should not take anything really seriously. If you can create something, do it. Paint, draw, do music, sing, write a story, be excited about something! Forget yourself into something, be passionate. And also, you are not alone, join a movement, even if it's only a web based movement.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 08:43 PM
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reply to post by OhNoItsCritical
 


I know how you feel! Just play normal and stay in a routine! Live everyday as if it is youre last! Try and find some kind of enjoyment in everyday. I feel like a robot..I do school work and then off to work everyday!! I do get some down time from playing on my computer. I have had the past 3 days off from work and I was suppose to take a very important test yesterday. I was going to have to drive 4 hours away to take the test. I was afraid to be out on the highway at 3:00 Am..so I rescheduled the test. I went through all the What If Drama!! I just had a bad feeling about the entire trip so I have put it off until next month.

My current job now is tearing my physical body apart. I come home so worn out that I just pass out! I take care of sick people everyday and have to worry about catching something. I love the people that I take care of but it is draining the heck out of me! I have a desire to just run off to the beach, but I dont have the time off from work or money to do so.

I then tell myself over and over..Be thankful for what I do have! Do the best I can and just ride the wave!

I wanted a cowboy from Montana and a Farm and a decent job! I found a wonderful Beach Type Guy whom I Love! The only area that I am un-happy in is my Career!

The best advise I can give you!! Find a Job that you have a passion for!! We spend 75 percent of our lives working! I hope that you work out youre problems with the man you love! If you know you have something good, dont let it slip away!! Work it Out!! Best Wishes!! I wish you Happiness!



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 09:02 PM
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reply to post by OhNoItsCritical
 


Wow o p this hit so close to home it's really scary. After a 10 yr perfect relationship just a few days ago I found out I myself am in the same boat. It's a really hard struggle especially when kids are involved. Keep your head up I guess thats what everyone keeps telling me. And if all else we could start a club around this site lol.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 09:16 PM
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I broke one of my own rules. I skipped all posts just to reply.
Your post resonated deeply with me. I too am in a very similar situation as you and feel the same feelings.
I'm in a pretty dark place these days and the sinking feeling is not giving up an inch. I have no advice or words of encouragement for you, but maybe take solace in knowing you aren't alone. Feel free to U2U me if you want to talk. I hope you find your way out.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 09:37 PM
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reply to post by shadow watcher
 





I'm in a pretty dark place these days and the sinking feeling is not giving up an inch


I know exactly where that place is. It's not friendly. I feel fer ya. Definitely not a place to be alone.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 10:04 PM
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reply to post by OhNoItsCritical
 

By all means, just let it go. What is happening is you are subconsciously ridding yourself of Earthly dross and negativity. Understand, only in this, the 3rd dimension, do emotions rule. In the higher planes, there are no emotions. All is love, and togetherness. Concentrate on ridding all of the bad stuff from your mind, forgive yourself if necessary. Know that you are a Being of Light, a Spirit, and only reside in human form.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 10:42 PM
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I'm not sick of my journey. I'm sick of thinking about all the stumbling blocks on my journey that keep me from REALLY being on my journey.

I am so disgusted with certain things in life that I actually weigh whether or not it would be worth it to loose my memory entirely. Sure, there is a lot of good but there is also too much that is just completely screwed up.. and in every day life too.

Plus it's as boring as I can't even explain or describe.
All the stuff around here to do is fake crap... make believe manmade generic world. I really feel now more than ever I should be somewhere else. Maybe not so far as another planet but at least a different part of the world... or maybe not, I don't know. This is just a losing game.

Venus is interesting... not sure why I think it's so interesting right now other than it must be really REALLY cloudy for it to be showing off like it is. The more I read about it the more interesting it gets until I realize that some changes won't take effect for a long long time but just the changes it's going through now make me wonder.

I do not feel comfortable anywhere I'm at and feeling a bunch of vibrations and can't concentrate on boring crap to get anything done but I'm bored as all get out.

I guess I'll eat some chocolate cupcakes and read arguments.

yay.



posted on Mar, 29 2012 @ 10:44 PM
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Clear your mind. I find it hard to keep faith when I spend too much time thinking on unimportant things instead of meditating.



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