posted on Mar, 26 2012 @ 09:39 PM
Dude, wtf? "I'm 21 and my life is over. Which trash bin should I throw it in?". So you have some social anxiety, big deal. Let me give you my
experience briefly, followed by a bit of advice.
Upon completing 8th grade (at age 14), my parents decided they didnt like the school system and pulled me out. They promissed me they would enroll me
in home schooling. Even though i harrassed them a lot about it, they always gave me some excuse as to why they couldnt right then, so they put it off
and it never happened. We moved at the time they pulled me out. They told me not to go outside during the day cause they would get into trouble for
not having me in school. Then they told me i wasnt allowed to have friends because they might tell someone at school and they would get in trouble. I
became a hermit in my room (this is pre internet btw). I read, taught myself how to play music, etc..
After i was legal to quit (16) i continued my hiding because at this point, i didnt know how to deal with society anymore. I was scared of people. I
continued hiding in my room until i was 19, a total of 5 years. During that time, i didnt know anyone, and those are important years (i think). It
seems that high school is more about social aspects than anything else.
Finally, i said "enough". I put in an application at a fast food place, the only application I submitted anywhere. I was very depressed and given my
situation, felt it was the only type of job i might be able to get. I got the job, then went and got my GED. I then paid tuition to community college,
and paid my parents rent. My parents had to drive me to college, and made me pay gas money. I obtained my learners driving permit, and asked my mom to
let me drive to college each day. She said, "no, because your permit says you have to be in the car with a licensed driver, and i never got my
Going to school was great at first, and i even made the Deans Honor list, but i became even more depressed because I still couldnt make any friends. I
decided to take a break from school after about a year to try and get my own car,since my parents would not let me drive theirs or get my license. I
found that you cant buy a car from a dealer without a lisence. Catch 22. My stepfather said i could buy a car in his name, so we did that. I made
payments on that car for two years, finally paying it off, and still not allowed to drive it because" it was in his name". I finally got my license
when i was like 22 or so.
After working the fast food thing for a few years, i got a job in a hotel as night auditor. Doing this job for a few years forced me to become more
natural in dealing with people. The hotel thing stuck and i worked for several of them, eventually getting a job as a General Manager. I am still"
not quite right" as a result of all the bs i had to deal with. The loneliness and depression, etc.
Anyway, I dont know what your" rare" circumstance is, but i can tell you, I think i was intentionally held down and I didnt go homeless. Okay,
thanks for the pity party. You have gotten some good advice in here already, but i have my two bits to add.
Get a job in customer service, ven if its at night. This will force you out of your shell. A job like night stocking or something is going to
reinforce your fear of people. Just buckle down and get yourself out there. Thinking about it is worse than doing it, I promise.
Sorry about any typos, doing this on my phone.