Is it possible to get your true love/soulmate without being with other relationships?

Is it possible to get your true love/soulmate without being with other relationships?

Well here is a scenario: A guy gets a girl (both guy and girl never had any other romantic relationship in the past) and started dating.In the process they realized they are meant for each other.As a result both parties ended up marrying together without being with other relationships. Is this possible I mean I've known a few people that married their first love without dating other people. If so how can I do it?I'm doing this to avoid the emotional pain of breakup otherwise would rather be single.

reply to post by starwarsisreal

.In the process they realized they are meant for each other.As a result both parties ended up marrying together without being with other relationships

yea this is chasing the fairy tale , might work in another dimension but not this one . Many people end up getting married because of this temporary endorphine rush . Like getting a tatto , many regret it down the road

Its wreckless , unproductive , and has little success rate. By what i've observed anyway..

I'm doing this to avoid the emotional pain of breakup otherwise would rather be single.

Do you know anyone who enjoy the pain of breakup ? lol of course not ! Thats everyones goal , to not have a emotional breakup full of pain ! But it still happens no matter what avenue you seem to take . Best thing to do is cushion the hit , by understanding who and what you are getting into !

Remember once a women gets "comfy " around you , she changes to sometimes , someone you don't even recognize any more , and then you will be like , false advertising!

Um so you're thinking one of those high school loves that workout, or like one of those relationships like back in the day sorta like your grandparents would have had. Your best bet you either need to get lucky as hell, or sign up on one of those dating sites that like ask you a billion questions so you could i guess find someone you like and has same interests etc etc.
Or find one from a non western country, you may get lucky if you are in some religion some of those last the test of time if, otherwise find someone from another country where i guess they arent as tarnished as western countries (no offense) but countries where its not so hard to find women who i guess arent as feminazied, philippines for example majority of women are catholic and marriage there is forever (no divorce) a country where people try to work things out instead of 'this annoys me about you i dont want to work on it i want a divorce' yeah seems funny but people get divorced for a lot less these days.

So yeah either get really lucky/ stop dreaming/ search on one of those 1000 question dating websites/ find one from a non western country/ find someone with good morals religious maybe.

But yeah good luck

It's possible but rare. Personally, I find mutual first love to be such a beautiful thing. Most people, including myself, had their heart clobbered by their first love. And their first love had their heart clobbered by someone else (the reason behind my first love doing it to me). And I clobbered the heart of the man where I was his first love (after it was done to me). Then the cycle perpetuates.

But first love, especially mutual, is so innocent and pure. You don't have the callouses on your heart that a jilted lover would. So if you can find your first love, see if you can be with someone where YOU would be their first love as well.

It's so beautiful to love so purely without any kind of scars or damage. You will run the danger of you or that person wondering what it would be like with someone else but it would be worth the risk, IMO.

reply to post by AshleyD


AshleyD I maybe off topic but can I ask you a question: what does it look like to be broken up by your first love?( You don't have to answer if it's too personal)

reply to post by starwarsisreal


There is no such thing as your true love. Sorry but there isn't. Best bet is just to be with someone that makes you happy.

reply to post by starwarsisreal


Never gonna happen. It wont last anyway. Your better off sowing your oats for a long time and then if you run into each other later in life, Great.

I had a massive crush on this girl in middle school but we never got together for one reason or the other. Later in life (15 years later) we ran into each other and I would say sparks flew but it was more like bombs over Baghdad

It has been a bumpy ride at times but we love each other and will probably marry sooner than later. She is my soul mate for sure and I am one lucky guy because she is so hot lol.

I've seen one couple from high school marry and be successful. They've been married now for thirty years. While it hasn't always been easy for them, such things as marrying the high school sweetheart or soul mate can work, and work out decently from first meeting, enough it will always require working hard at the relationship at times.

From what I have seen though, predominantly going through those relationships that do break apart can lead both partners to be able to work better in a future relationship if they can get over most of the hard emotions of the past.

reply to post by starwarsisreal


It's pretty damn painful is all I can say within the T&C's. lol But you heal and move on even if the scars always remain. I just try to think of it as a long, winding road that led me to my husband.

Originally posted by Evanzsayz
reply to post by starwarsisreal

 

There is no such thing as your true love. Sorry but there isn't. Best bet is just to be with someone that makes you happy.

Just because you have not found it yet does not make true love non-existent. Besides Gods love for all of us is true.

reply to post by starwarsisreal


Not a bad question, I dont know what made you ask this question but I will be honest and frank with you.

Yes Its Very Much Possible OUTSIDE the western world and very common as in India, Pakistan, and other parts of Asia, Eastern Europe, a lot of the Middle East excluding Arabia, and I dont know about Israil. But not as in America, UK, Australia, New Zealand, Parts of Western Europe(as in feminist liberal nordic dreemland's). However It is also possible in westernized countries BUT very rare with the jumping divorce rates, so for westerners its more of a fairy tale.

Personal Experience: This has happened a few times in my own family actually , two of my Aunts. One Knew this guy since she was a little kid in school, they got married out of collage and has been for the past 25 years shes got a 7 year old kid too, other aunt meet her husband at her office and they fell in love. One of my uncles had a similar situation where they got married out of university and moved to the US. Same happened to my grand parents, she was 16 and he was 30 when they meet and they would send each other letters and later they got married when he first landed a job.(this was a long long time ago when telegram and letters were the best way to communicate). Then again a couple of uncles went through a few relationships before finding that some one. So Yea, Its VERY common now a days for two random people who never had any relationships to just meet somehow and get married after a couple of months or years, specially in asia and the middle east. Anyhow thats my take on it coming from experience.

Hope you find what you are looking for, not that its bad to have a few relationships as long as they meant something to you I guess personally and this is strictly personal, If I were to seal the deal as in settle down I would pick a non westernized, traditional "real" women, someone who is untouched and without any relationships, which by the way is very possible for me that is if I ever wanted anything serious. All the best

Well you can avoid pain of loss by being with someone you don't love or be alone. If you love them..there is no way to prevent them from leaving ..if they choose...And there is absolutely know way to know for sure if they love you.

It's a gamble...if you are not willing to lose..you will never get to play.

Peace


(I mean if you want a guarantee that you will not be hurt. I guess you could get lucky on the first try..and each love the other equally. Not going to know unless you take a shot though).

reply to post by coirener


what made me ask this question is so I won't have emotional problems. I feared breakups which one of the reasons why I never got a girl. I am being cautious of who is asking me out.

Originally posted by spav5
Well you can avoid pain of loss by being with someone you don't love or be alone. If you love them..there is no way to prevent them from leaving ..if they choose...And there is absolutely know way to know for sure if they love you.

It's a gamble ...if you are not willing to lose..you will never get to play.

Peace

Mostly well said, Pain will come one way or the other, you cant avoid it. If there is love there is loss much like everything else. However there are many ways to know if they love you, for starters most people wouldn't really be with you if they didnt have strong feelings for you. Well love may have become a gamble in the western world judging by the divorce rates and all the other nonsense I read and watch on the news, papers, internet and ATS(in threads like this), however at least that's not the case outside the western world, at least not from where I come from, not a gamble.

Originally posted by starwarsisreal
reply to post by coirener

 

what made me ask this question is so I won't have emotional problems. I feared breakups which one of the reasons why I never got a girl. I am being cautious of who is asking me out.

edit on 25-3-2012 by starwarsisreal because: (no reason given)

If its not too harsh, may I suggest you invest at least 2 - 3 hours reading the many articles at RooshV - www.rooshv.com...

If breakups or bankruptcy and finding a quality women is one of your reasons, and you are a beginner then read the blogs, and if you can try to look at a few random ones and read their comments as well, they have a lot of information and a few different perspectives. Dont judge but look at it both ways, all men aren't made the same neither are all women

Just be patient. Having a relationship with the opposite sex is just one aspect of being a human. There are lots of things out there.

Well honestly im not really sure how this is even possible unless you and another person decide to get married before you even date each other which seems like a bad idea. The only way i think you could do this is to not start dating until you get to average marriage age which idk maybe you are already there but either way thats not sure fire because there is still a chance that yall will break up.

reply to post by AshleyD


In some ways it needs to happen, no matter how much it hurts. I tried to look at it down the track as the learning curve of a life time, or even the "hand on the stove" children sometime go through when learning how cruel life can be.
Personally I wouldn't change the outcomes of my failed relationships if I could do, because of what they taught me. Sometimes those lessons took years to learn and multiple tries to get right, but if they weren't done through I still wouldn't have a clue not to put my hand on the stove as it were.
Life's lessons, especially relationships, are some of the more important things we can do as people, right up there with education and parenting imo.
As for soul mates straight off the bat, yes it does happen, but as most have stated, it is rare, and becoming rarer as time goes on. The simple fact is we are being carefully segregated as a society by social media and racial and class division, and as such a thing bcomes the norm, the ability for that social interaction goes downhill fast. Add laws and current rights to that relationship, and in 50 years or so, people will simply not bother even looking, as the additional pain (financial and hardship) will be another factor to the emotional scars we will suffer.
The trick with a soul mate is to know who you are first. To be comfortable and at peace with yourself. The right person will come along when you know these things.

Best advice I could give you is to atleast live with each other. Before you get married, take responsibility of each other for a good year and see how that works out. Now I'm not disbelieving you on what you say about how you feel about this person. All I'm trying to say is.. you don't know someone until you live with them.. Finances is something that destroys couples because they never lived with each other and don't know how to work together.

reply to post by starwarsisreal


Define "soul mate"......define "relationship". Don't mean to nitpick but only you can answer your question.

Your idea of a soul mate might differ from mine. Mine is a person who has a lot in common with you on an emotional level to the point where if they are away from you.......so are you. She helps define you to the point where when she's gone, you're not quite yourself anymore. Someone who completes you emotionally I guess is what I'm trying to say.

I'm really tired right now so I can't say all I was going to about this, but the bottom line is that you have to know yourself pretty well to be able to know if you found your soul mate or not. And just from my personal experiences alone, I cannot honestly tell you whether you have to go through a bunch of emotional traffic to get to that destination or not.

I think I'll let Tim McGraw explain the rest for me. If a man can see song # 1 in a woman and a woman can see song #2 in a man............they just might have "it".





It all comes down to a matter of a certain level of innocence on both sides that have to make the connection. And again, I cannot honestly tell you whether you have to go through a bunch of emotional traffic to get to that destination or not.

Only God knows that one I think.