Ladies of ATS, your honest opinion please. Why am I single?

Ok ladies I need your honest opinion on why I am single. I have read many of the other threads on why nice guys don't get dates, but none of the advice portrayed my situation. This might get a little long, so bear with me because I want to give the clearest picture.

I'm 19, 5'10, 130 and have a very lithe toned body structure. I have short brown hair, and dark brown eyes. I rarely get angry, due to my jovial outlook on life and good nature. I dress very atypical to most people, in that I wear a sixties band shirt, bell bottom whitewashed jeans, and a pair of converse. I have been raised to be a gentleman, but to not take abuse from others. I am a very, cool and collected person, albeit slightly idealistic. I have been told I have a great sense of humor, and I am very good a making people laugh. In school I was not one of the popular kids, but i was pretty cool. I regularly talked to everyone from the preps to the nerds, and helped bring many of the students together, and helped get rid of the hierarchy in school. I know women find me attractive, ( at least to a degree) and I am capable of talking to them in most settings. As a sophomore I asked out a senior in the middle of the lunch room, surrounded by her friends, so I know I don't have a confidence problem. I take rejection with grace, and try to still be civil and courteous. One thing I have to do when I find myself attracted to somebody is, I have to get to know them, before I make a move. I understand that this next part scares some women I like; I am openly bi-sexual, but prefer women. Yet my experiences with the opposite sex have been to say the least horrible. The first girl told me to call her, but she never answered her phone and actively avoided me after she said yes. ( she came on to me) The second girl strung me along for two weeks, then told me, she was dating someone. (unlike other two was a very sweet person, very shy and reserved) The third girl literally was what could be considered a deamon and ripped my heart out, and played me for six months also ruining a great friendship along they way. ( this is not all of them only the important ones.) Having learned many things since then I have come to a standstill of not being able to attract any woman's notice, no matter how hard or little I try. In conclusion please ladies tell me what is wrong with me? Why can't I get a date ?

Not a lady

You're either really ugly or a bad lover.


Or you have a bad attitude...

reply to post by CaLyps0


I am far from being a bad lover, have a great attitude, and am not bad looking.

You are trying to hard. Plain and simple. Coming across as as the type of person that HAS to be in a relationship is unattractive. When you reach a place where you don't care if you are in a relationship or not people will find you more attractive. I figured that out when it seemed like when ever I was in a relationship, or had just recently ended one and wasn't ready for another, I would get hit on all the time. When I was actively looking, nothing.

reply to post by KwisatzHaderach


I'm not a lady, however i do have some experience in this region of life.

The first thing you got to remember is girls in particular are attracted to confidence.

If you don't have an extremely large amount of confidence in yourself, it shows, and most of the time it's a turn off.

To get most girls unfortunately you have to be what most guys refer to as a cocky bastard, it's why you see girls dating jerks that are full of themselves a lot of the time.

It's because those guys are very very very secure and confident in themselves.

Do something that makes you stand out, that shows you have a great deal confidence in yourself, and the ladies show flow in.

Are you sure you want a date?

I'm not being rude, please understand. But in your post you admit to being openly bisexual, then you describe some very painful experiences with women. Perhaps you are still uncertain about things? Just a suggestion.

Here's my advice. You're 19. Let life happen. Be yourself- you sound like a fun guy to be with. Sometimes we find love when we aren't even looking.

Myself, I married someone who makes me laugh. Usually I laugh with him, sometimes I laugh at him. Either way, he's a lot of fun to be around. We were friends first, then it grew into something more. Do you have female friends you enjoy being with? Maybe that is an idea to explore.

One more thing. I never dated much in school because I was painfully shy. I used to believe I was destined for a life of loneliness. Now I'm happily married with my own family. So don't be to hard on yourself. You never know who's right around the corner....

treat her like one of your friends, be playful, engaging, challenge her.

take a leap of faith and be yourself is what I learned, with the confidence of your last thread of course lol.

also I think you need to stop playing victim, it's not attractive. IMO.

thats it. you're smart, wtf do you need us for, I got good advice from YOU! lol.

reply to post by calstorm


Ya I tried that it worked out even worse, then everybody asked me if I had gone gay.
2nd line.

reply to post by KwisatzHaderach


I disagree, if you have those qualities in the AK, you'd be taken....

Just women though, did I read that right? if so, stay down there
so my chances are better

Most who give up for the natural aspect, try Harmony.com, or
the many others heard its worked, but not a fan.

Good luck

Originally posted by CaLyps0
Not a lady

You're either really ugly or a bad lover.


Or you have a bad attitude...

edit on 25-3-2012 by CaLyps0 because: (no reason given)

Your avatar seems to describe you. Dont be mean, he is just reaching out for advice, no reason to attack.

Post a picture (:

reply to post by KwisatzHaderach


If you are openly bi-sexual.....there's your problem!

I suggest you try a bi-sexual dating website and find a likewise woman.

reply to post by MrRamblinRose


I am a very confident person, and it shows. It just seems to never work, I can talk to women with ease and fluidity no problem.

reply to post by Infi8nity


Are you ugly, yeah, that avatar makes for confusing signals, you have that on your side

reply to post by smyleegrl


I'm not really that hard on myself; I actually have been in love, but she is sadly no longer with us. The list of women was more of, the impact of horrible people and my over commence. Yes I do want to date, and I do know that I am bi. I prefer women though. I do have quite a few female friends, all but one is not single and shes not interested.

reply to post by yourmaker


thanks and good for you. I'm great at giving advice, but not so great at taking it. I don't try to play the victim, and tend not to speak about my past, due to the fact that I have been through some rough life predicaments.

Dude listen to my advice ^. If you try and be her friend thats what youll be...her friend! Dont listen to that sh*t!

reply to post by AK907ICECOLD


Lol thanks. I tried online dating but it didn't work out to well.

reply to post by yzfr6003


Wow. This whole reply was mysoginistic at best.

I was NEVER attracted to the stereotypical jerk guy, and many of my friends agreed with me.
I much preferred the shy and quiet guy, because I was shy myself.