I wish I knew how to post pictures on here to show everyone what I'm about to tell you as its hard to imagine how it looks just by description, I
can't even figure out how to load my picture as my avatar on here...I guess you could check out my Facebook to see my profile picture and a few other
pics if you'd like to see what I'm talking about (and make sure I'm being honest). My Facebook is www.facebook.com...
My eyes are rather large and seem to alternate naturally (depending on mood and weather) between blue and grey and rarely violet, and my hair (I do
not dye or highlight my hair, I keep it all natural) is a sort of auburn that appears to be a natural medium/dark chestnut base with natural golden
blond and ruby red highlights...my hair was naturally blond from birth until my late teens when it darkened. Also, my hair is naturally straight and I
have worn it long for my entire life, and it's currently down to my waist. I am pale by choice...I tan very, very well but I choose to stay out of the
sunlight because I prefer the delicate look and I'm overly anxious about developing skin cancer, LOL.
My father's family has compiled a huge book of our ancestry over many, many years and my mother's family has kept a similar, although not as
extensive, family tree documented as well. I'm from Charleston, South Carolina, and much of my heritage can be traced to English, French, Irish
(mostly Irish Traveller), Cherokee, and Romany roots. Also included in our heritage to a lesser degree are Spanish, Italian, Scottish, and Russian
roots. It's a very wide and varied set of cultures and nationalities...I and my family are quite the diverse little melting pot, LOL.
I am painfully aware of how my Romany and Traveller and Cherokee blood influences, enhances, and adds to my senses. My mother and her sisters and my
grandmother and her sisters all claim that the women in our family have always had the "Gypsy gifts". I am an only child and while my mother's side of
the family has been dominated by female children for countless generations, I happen to be the first and only girl born in seven generations on my
father's side...I have no idea if that holds any meaning, but make of it what you will. On a rather regular basis, I do only what can be described as
reading the minds of the people around me. I have had this telepathic sense and had several premonitions that came true since I was a small child, so
much so that it scared my father when I was small. Throughout my life since I was a small child, I've also seen things that I can only describe as
completely unexplainable...from what appeared to be the ghost of a small boy dressed in early 20th century clothing in a rural clearing near a wooded
area to a creature (whose features I thankfully could not make out in the dark, I suspect it was some sort of demon) seven feet tall with bent back
legs and spindly arms running in a strange manner across a suburban road that was even witnessed by the person (a friend, Juliana) in the car with me.
Honestly, I don't know what to think of it all...on the one hand, it's fun to sometimes read someone's mind or tell them of their past/present/future
and freak them out but on the other hand, I would trade all of the abilities if I could only be more closed off to entities and things not of this
world and never sense or see any of it ever again.
I don't know...just thought I'd throw my two cents in. I don't even know if any of it matters...this is only my fourth post ever so I apologize if I
rambled or didn't include enough detail, LOL.
EDIT: Just to add, my father and his family are Southern Baptist and my mother and her family are Roman Catholic. Suffice it to say, there was always
tension in our home over faith and which one I should be brought up in. I was sent to several private Catholic and Baptist schools, all of which kinda
made me feel even worse about what I could see and hear and feel because I was taught that psychics and mediums and fortune-tellers were of the
Devil...and it made me wonder if God disapproved of me.
And throughout my childhood and beyond, our family home was what I can only describe as haunted or oppressed by a malevolent entity that would only
appear as a shadow person/figure. My mother claims it's an entity conjured by a family member that follows her, and I've had it follow me as well. It
would do things like imitating my voice in the middle of the night outside of my parents' door while I would be away at a sleepover or call to a
friend or a boyfriend by name from outside of a room in a hall only for the friend or boyfriend to discover I was on the opposite side of the
house...it would knock on and scratch at the walls and open doors (even sliding doors) on its own, laugh right behind me in the softest voice,
rearrange things, knock things off of tables and dressers...and whether people experienced anything directly creepy or not, every single person who
came to that house always ended up telling us that the house made them feel uncomfortable or that they were generally creeped out in the house, and
eventually never returned...some friends even said it made them feel creeped out to be parked in front of the house and looking at it. It's just so
dark with the entity inhabiting it, No one outside of the family enters the house anymore. I saw and heard the entity and felt its presence and had it
follow me and screw with my head and my stuff on a regular basis til I covered my room in crosses and rosaries and candles and put salt and oil and
holy water at my doors and windows...after I did that, I essentially confined myself to my room at all times whenever I was in the house and it never
bothered me again.
Therefore, if you're wondering why someone would want to give away their gifts or abilities or powers or whatever, therein lies your answer...even if
I didn't have a myriad of other reasons (a major one is the fact that I wonder every single day if I'm damned simply for possessing said
gifts/abilities), that lifelong haunting/oppression is reason enough alone for me to wish I had no abilities and was numb and blind to things of that
nature like most people are.
edit on 1/18/2013 by jcutler12888 because: Additional Information