The best way to build/raise a family is to teach them survival

based on a thread by Itop1, entitled "make each day count," where s/he talked about skills learned from parents

A friend of mine often says that in previous generations, families were "tight"--the family members trusted and relied on each other. He claims that the reason for this is that until WWI, families ran family businesses together. Whether it was a family farm, or a family store, all members participating in creating wealth together, and this brought them closer together over time. If they were ever going to strike it rich, it would be as a family, not as lone individuals.

But the modern family has two earners who leave the house in different directions for different jobs. The children have no jobs at all. They work separately, learn separately, eat separately, entertain themselves separately, and then move apart as the years pass.

I think I have found an antidote to all this:

Teach your children survival skills.

The act of producing brings people together. Whether it means producing food from your own garden, cooking together, or building a boat as a family project, the act of building together creates the bonds that last a lifetime.

An act as simple as learning the canning of summer vegetables gets the kids out of the house and learning. They learn about soil types and predation, photosynthesis and symbiosis, and that coffee grounds make the best compost.

Baking your own bread or raising your own chickens means cooperating and sharing effort and outcomes. It also brings a sense of accomplishment---the only valid source of self-esteem. The self-esteem gained in the company of the family reinforces the sense of group identity and trust you'd need if you actually had to survive together.

Programs like Scouting and 4H are a great launching pad for these sorts of activities. But even something as basic changing the oil in the family vehicles, or as complex as spending a summer together on Grandad's farm, teach the skills that actually hold families together.

Especially if children come from different parents, a group activity like berry-picking or nut-gathering can be the way we find our place in a blended family.

reply to post by dr_strangecraft


Survival is a useful skill but the really best way to build/raise a family is to work toward independence from state and corporations at all levels. Independence is the only way to guarantee freedom for yourself and yours.

I could not agree with you more. All of the skills I learned from my parents...changing oil in my truck to making bisquits, building sheds to gardening to canning to cutting firewood to how to get 3 meals out of one chicken for an entire family... I learned from my parents.

The other thing to do is get rid of or limit the TV...a rare form of entertainment...not a babysitter. Further, give them ideas to make their own money...lemonade stands...cut grass... rake yards...etc.

I have a fellow co-worker that works part time at my store. He has not worked full time in 3 ears, yet makes really good money working on cars and trucks, doing house repairs, hauling stuff,... he works at my store to get the employee discount to feed his farm animals.

Good topic... people, parents really do have the power to raise their family if they start early. It's hard to convert kids once they have immersed theirselves into an X-Box.

Independence is taught when you teach the skills of survival.

The economy has changed again. When I was a kid, corporations began to be able to manufacture things cheaper and more readily than you could yourself. So it seemed to make economic sense when people said, "don't fix it, just throw it away and get a newer, bigger one."

Back when I was a kid, ladies could "darn" socks. Back then, socks basically lasted indefinitely until you physically wore a hole in them. Then your mom (or grandma) would gather up all the family socks. They would sew a network of stitches over the hole in each damaged sock, and draw each round tighter and tighter until the hole was filled. Then all your socks were fixed. But we started getting cheap imported socks, and it took less work to go out and earn the money, then go to the store and buy more socks, instead of spending 4 hours fixing every sock in the house

The last time I saw my mom darn the socks was about 1972.

But now the economy is changing. We seem to be reverting to the state where your time is cheaper than your money.

Every time you purchase something, you get taken advantage of financially. The easiest way to improve your standard of living now, is to reduce the number of purchases you make in a given day.

I know that some families try to have a "zero waste home." Where they produce as little waste as possible. For my part, I'm trying to create a "zero commerce home, where on a given day, we buy only a very little. Electricity and water (for now). But no cable, no pay-per-view, few store-bought groceries and clothes, etc.

Very solid idea. Just last night a friend of mine and I repaired a very old door to a no longer used chicken coop. After hunting up some hinge bolts to hang the door on and replacing the wood. We had to refit the door hinges themselves to the newer bolts due to them being wider than the original ones. At one point he was ready to give in and make a trip into town. I had to remind him that wasn't how the farmer that built this did it. And even chided that he probably made the door hinges himself by heating and bending the angle iron around a rod.

End of the night the door was hung and works well.

The things that I do with my kids really are prepping. The older boys help me dress out the deer I shoot, most of which will become jerky in our long-term storage. We are all learning how to garden together, and how to can the produce. Which is more prepping.

My wife never learned how to sew when she was growing up; but she is learning now and the girls are learning with her. That very definitely has survival applications.

Every month we practice a "bug-out drill" of a different kind. The kids really enjoy it, and will ask to do that instead of watching TV or even playing a game as a family. They think its a game when dad says, "let's pretend our car is working, but that we have to leave the house in 30 minutes and we don't know when we will ever come back. Pretend that Dad is sick, and see what you can get right without any help." It's fun to watch and see what they will pack the car with. They know to get the bug out bags first; but there is still room in the SUV, so what else should they bring. The kids are actually quite creative, and will think of things like how do do laundry when we get to our refuge, what tools and seeds we will need for a garden there, etc.

We go fishing together. While the fish won't last without a freezer, the practice still equips them to fish when they may need to.

What is camping, if not a survival exercise?

Every item I just named is more than practice for survival--it is a team-building exercise that teaches them how to work together, how to succeed, and how to help and love each other.

you know, the stuff they won't learn at school...