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Losing my religion

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posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 01:44 PM
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Hello ATS i have come to a point in my life that i do not know what to believe. I used to go to church. There was a lady who every week would go up to the podium to get "healed" she didnt and the preacher would tell her that she didnt believe enough to allow the power of Jesus christ to heal her. week after week this would occur. The woman would tithe and never missed a sermon. The preacher seemed to have a new car every other week. One day I followed him home and he lived in a mansion while most of his flock lived....well you get the idea. I havent been to church since 15 plus years. This was a baptist church. I supposedly grew up Catholic. but didnt go to a catholic church until late in my adult life. I remember being a child growing up in park slope in the 70s. a church bus would come around and pick us up. The man would always ask me if my mother gave me any money to put in the basket. Recently i purchased a car. that night on the way to visit my family in ny I stopped to assist at an accident. I am a US Navy Corpsman. I grabbed my bag and ran up to the car. The man was dead. he had two boxes in his car and was on his way to a delivery. he never made it. 10 minutes later my new cars steering locked up and the brakes stopped working. I went into a spin and was going backwards. I saw the a car coming and i could see the guys face. i can read lips. He said That Motherf.... is dead. The car slowly turned and the back right hand corner hit the jersey wall at 75 miles an hour. The only damage was a busted tailight and bumper. No one stopped. All the cars around me kept going. No one cared. The car ran so i continued my trip to NY. i dont have a front license plate because it is not required in NC. i recived a ticket everyday (10) because of failure to display a license plate. I got stopped no less than 5 times for the same reason. I have a DOD sticker visible in the front window. this only caused many questions from the police. Many were jerks until they saw my Military ID. then they started asking all these questions. I served with 3/2 marines I proudly served there. I never pissed on anyone or took a life that wasnt trying to take mine. i arrived in NY the day that my unit was on the front page of the daily news pissing on dead enemies. i stopped watching television last year so i didnt know this. I proudly displayed a 3/2 sticker on my vehicle. i had to take it down because a few times when i came out there were people standing around ready to kill me because of what was on the front page. I never pissed on anyone. This was the first time i have gone to NYC because of deployments and training. My kids wanted to see me in uniform. i didnt wear it for fear of someone spitting on me or worse. life shouldnt be that way. when i got back to NC (not fast enough) i went back to the dealer. the manager said that he wasnt going to help me. i later found out that the owner of the dealership is the pastor at Potters church in jacksonville NC. A so called man of GOD. He said that i was lucky in the accident and that THE LORD stepped in. i dont beleieve that. I believe i survived because the car was engineered to protect the occupants. i read about the illuminati aliens TPTB and all the other crap. i dont know what to beleive. If there is a God Or a higher power he doesnt give a # about me or my family. Other people seem enlightened and happy. I guess it works for them. I think there is no purpose to life except to keep life going. meaning to have children and raise them. just like every other animal on this planet. I do beleieve that in all the galaxies there has to be other life forms maybe they have visited us. It doenst make sense that they havent let themselves be known. If they have been here. I have seen horrible things based on religion. The human race as a whole are a buch of idiots. I think we have it wrong all of it. nothing means anything. Money is stupid. I get pissed that i need a piece of paper to get the things that i need to survive. I have a nice place to live my children are healthy. I feel really close to my woman. i beleive that emotion is called Love. Its just a chemical process in my brain based. I have the same feelings for my children. Just like any animal who breeds has offspring and provides what they need. Life is stupid This world is stupid. Nothing makes sense anymore i dont think it ever will. Its all an illusionWe waste time worrying about the dumbest things. We look for the TRUTH there is no truth. There is no GOD. We Live we breed we die. There is no other purpose to life. I am a military man but i do not have delusions about what i do. I am a pawn. they give me money (paper) for the work i do do. i take that paper and give it to other people and they give me the things i need to live (food shelter) One day i will die. my children will continue they will have children and so on and so forth. Nothing matters but that. There is no GOD. religion is just a tool by very smart people to control you. But why why would anyone want to control others? why not live and let live. Why not just be nice to eachother. what is the problem? what is the solution? i dont beleive there is one. i am empty inside. I live for my children and nothing more. One day i will die. Will i "go on" will i burn in HELL or go to heaven will i return and forget eevrything. im just plain lost and i will no longer seek the meaning of life. I can only be alive.




posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 02:00 PM
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reply to post by semperkill
 


please try to use paragraphs... the wall O text isn't friendly to the eyes.


Do you want to believe in God, or have you simply given up?

that seems to be the theme of your thread.

I can't help if you have no interest in believing in God, but don't base your faith on humanity's issues... I have little faith in our species as a whole as well actually




posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 02:02 PM
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reply to post by semperkill
 


Nice post, I enjoyed reading it and I understand what your saying, I think your heart is in the right place - you live for your children - Heaven and Hell are words made up by greedy men to keep people from realizing they don't have to live under the elite - All you need is love and if your living for your kids your on the right track

BTW - You might get a better response or better feedback if you break the post up into paragraphs, easier to read.



posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 02:03 PM
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If you're looking for the answer of why you feel this way you won't find it here. you won't find it on any website or the internet. you wont find it in books or on tv. you wont find it in religion. you wont find it if aliens come to earth or if jesus returns. you wont find it in the farthest reaches of space or at the bottom of the ocean. The only person that can give you the answer is you. it's within you. just try to be a good person.



posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 02:12 PM
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> Matthew 6:5-6 <

Those two verses are all you need to know.

"God" does not reside in Churches, Synagogues, Temples, or Mosques.
Those places are dens of deceit and corruption where men put their own spin on
spirituality, and usually to suit their own means.

"God" lives in you, in nature; not in men who pillage through tithing,
not in books full of contradictory tales.

"God" is different to all of us.
To some he is the energy that makes up all things,
to others he is a divine being,
to others still, "god" is us, and we are he.

Who is right? Here's a better question. Who has the proof to say?

No one can tell you who or what god is. You must discover that on your own.

Losing your religion isn't a bad thing. You've lost your faith in man.
I don't think you've lost your faith in a higher power, no matter what that power is to you.

Remember. "God" isn't some moral compass, he is but magnetic North,
and it is your free will that will guide you there.



S&F




edit on 22-3-2012 by FugitiveSoul because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 02:22 PM
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i was expeciting a tread on R.e.m,
second line



posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 02:35 PM
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reply to post by FugitiveSoul
 


I pretty much agree with this gentleman ^ .

It's a personal journey and we all walk our own paths; whether we choose to walk it alone or with a congregation, that's up to the person.

I've hardly attended churches (I used to be forced into them in my youth a few times though), but I've learned to seek and find without a man standing at a podium spewing dogma and politics in my face. Some of their words are nice, a lot of it I just can't agree with. As the Buddha said: “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”

Continue to question everything that seems wrong, OP. You have a right to seek, you have a right to ask, you have a right to find. All things are disclosed, just steady on with integrity and compassion.



posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 03:48 PM
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reply to post by semperkill
 


I totally simpathize with you. I was looking for the meaning of life as teenager. I became secluded and lived my life almost like a monk. I came home from school, took some food and went to my room. The same thing all through high school. Dropped out of colledge because I felt like there was no point. Some would say I wasted my teenage years but alot came from this. It was my time to think about what ever I needed for myself. I thought briefly about joining but after the Gulf I desided that it might not be the best idea. I couldn't find direction. Then I had an epiphany. What I found is that there is no meaning to life but live it to the best of your abilities regardless of others opinions. What matters to YOU is what you should look at. maybe that's what you need. A time reflect, a time to meditate on the dirrection you want your life to go.

I heard this a while back and found it agian in a video game. "Nothing is true, everything is permitted" To me "nothing is true" means the truth changes depending on your perspective. If you're not happy, maybe change you perspective. Try to look at your life objectively. From the outside if you will. And make the appropriate changes for you to be happy. "Everything is permitted' to me means do what ever it take to give yourself and your loved ones what they need. But you must be ready to deal with the consequences of your actions.

You seem to a good person. Take solace in that. You seem to have a very loving family. Take solace in that. Those two things can carry you through thick and thin....if you let them.



posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 05:18 PM
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Thanks sorry about the giant paragragh. i woke up today and was looking online. i was reading about this new law I think it is the ndra. wherin the goverment can conscript you based on your skills. I noticed many of my friends getting kicked out of the military for obscure reasons. I fear that they will soon be forced into what i can only call slavery.
The other thing was my daughter was watching tv in her room (i dont watch it anymore) and i heard a woman arguing about how she wants 7 million dollars for her apartment???? just kind of pissed me off.

I lost many good friends in iraq and for what?

Deep inside i still believe in this country but the direction things are going in and the things i am seeing cause me great fear and deep concern.
everywhere you look everything is made in china ??? why do we put up with it. the other day i went to the store with the idea of buying all american products but that is impossible. where is all the money going?? where is all the gold going? My vehicles all have computers in them (Jeep,mazda,honda) I beleieve that the car companies can download malicious software somehow to make it act funny (i dont have the time or patience) all their parts are made in japan or china. i take excellent care of my vehicles yet every couple of months something goes wrong.
A bill collector with an accent called me. I asked her where she was located she said it was "OFFSHORE" i asked her where offshore and she said that she cant mention her exact location. I told her that i refuse to talk to her and that if she didnt put an american on the line i wouldnt deal with them or pay my bill. then a guy called he said he was from texas. i asked for his number and he said he couldnt give it to me. i asked where in texas he was and he said i can only tell you that i am in texas.
Jehovahs witnessess came to my door today. i asked them why if there is a God does he allow innocents to suffer. they said it was Gods plan????? So i said the benevolent all loving god allows people to suffer becasue it is his plan???? i told them to get the *@&#^ off my property.
I know im being watched through my kinect and computer. not to mention now google can listen in on me. The truth is i dont care about that. They can watch me all they want but to what end. Why i dont watch tv so ads wont affect me. But my kids do (i dont want to remove that choice) i am more than pissed.
There is so much more i would love to say but i know that i am being watched and listened to. I want them to know that i love my country and i believe that we can do better. Something is going to happen and all i can do is protect my family. There is nothing else. There should be more.



posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 07:26 PM
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reply to post by Akragon
 


I am having a hard time with the concept of god lately. im not sure. i have never seen him. there is too much suffering of innocents to convince me. If there is a god he has abandoned us.



posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 07:31 PM
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reply to post by AdamsMurmur
 


All things are disclosed. When is that? When i die? What if my inner self guides me to believe
the wrong thing?



posted on Mar, 22 2012 @ 07:34 PM
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reply to post by XLR8R
 


Just to be clear brother. i am not unhappy. I am unfullfilled and upset at what i see. my only happiness comes from my family and children. I guess maybe that is the meaning of life.....For me.



posted on Mar, 23 2012 @ 07:04 AM
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I can't help but think that you coming across the accident on your way to NY was some kind of sign or wake up call that you haven't fully recognized yet.

Just remember, the falling away from the church and the actions of some of them have all been predicted in the Bible. It all starts with prayer. Start by thanking God for your own protection as well as the health and safety of your family. Then follow up by asking God to guide you and to help you understand what it is that He wants you know in order to be fulfilled. Although you haven't been to church for 15+ years, doesn't mean you can't build your relation with God on a personal level. The more time you spend in developing your own personal relationship with Him, the more he will reveal to you.

I'm not sure what happened between you and your car dealer that they claimed they couldn't help you, unless it has something to do with the fact that you never obtained an official police report, but I certainly wouldn't ignore what happened with your car. I would contact the manufacturer directly if you can't get anything done through your dealer.



posted on Mar, 23 2012 @ 11:59 AM
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reply to post by Deetermined
 

This is way beyond the one incident. I just cant wrap my mind around the god concept anymore. If there is a god why does he allow babies to suffer. In my time in iraq i saw children suffering for no apparent reason. I came across young girls buried up their their elbows stoned to death in his name. Why didnt god or allah or budhha intervene?
There is no reason for the suffering that i have seen.
I am having a hard time beleieving. i have tried.
I have prayed
I have yelled at the heavens and have not recieved an answer.
I fear i have wasted my time.
If there is a god he doesnt care for everyone he doesnt love everyone
Just specific people?
Do you truly believe this. I dont buy it.
A just god wouldnt allow what is happening.
You say free will? Then you say everything every move is planned and destined?
He sees everything. I could stand by and see a child suffer. But the all knowing all seeing god does? and allows it?
Its all crap full of corn!



posted on Mar, 23 2012 @ 08:04 PM
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You won't find spiritually active Christianity inside a church, for the most part.

Christianity has two fundamental branches, broadly speaking. Gnostic/Essenic, and Pauline. The Gnostic/Essenic is the good stuff, but you won't find it inside any church. You have to go looking for some very old texts; some of which have only been known about for the last 2-3 decades or so. The G/E branch has no fundamental contradictions with any other religious system in existence.

The Pauline branch is what you'll learn about if you go to church. It is 95% fecal matter, and was designed primarily for social and political control.
edit on 23-3-2012 by petrus4 because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 23 2012 @ 08:46 PM
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reply to post by semperkill
 


Brother, do not lose heart, nor lose your faith. Sometimes we have trials we go through, and there may be days when you feel that you see more trouble than any other christian. It is not so. It rains on the just and the unjust alike.

Matthew 5: 43-45

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

As per the preacher living it up on the high side, know this. There has been an increase in men who have infiltrated christianity in pursuit of their own lusts, seeking to take advantage of Christ's sheep and get rich. They are wolves in sheeps clothing. All that is necessary for healing to take place is for 2 to be gathered in his name, if there are 3 or more than he will be there with you. It was not the woman's fault she did not recieve healing, this is a cop-out and a lie. No fault falls upon her own shoulders because Yeshua (Jesus) can heal all and there isn't anything under the sun he cannot heal and cannot do.

Matthew 18:18-20

18 “Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.19 “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”

Matthew 18 concerns loosing and binding on earth and in heaven and applies to anything you and the other 2 or 3+ gathered in his name agree upon. I can assure you that miracle healing does happen and it is real. My wife was having problems with her gall bladder, and was in so much pain she couldn't hardly move. We took her into my preachers study and I and our preacher and a deacon layed hands on her. The next day, we landed in the ER and sat in the waiting room for 7 hours because her pain had gotten worse. The doctors ran every kind of test they could think of, ultra-sound, CT scan, blood tests, urine tests the whole deal and they could find absolutely nothing wrong, even the blood in her urine that she tested positive for was gone. A few days later the pain went away instantly like it was never there, it just vanished and we gave thanks to Yahweh.

The restrainer hasn't been removed yet, but he will be soon. The Time of Sorrows (the birth pains of the tribulation) have begun, the signs in the heavens were given and it has started. You are not alone. When trouble comes at you cling that much tighter to him and hold fast because the enemy is trying to make you stumble as is their way.

There are dead churches out there, and your spirit will recognize them. I can feel whenever i walk into a church and the Holy Spirit has fled from that place, by contrast i can also feel when he is in a church because the love and brothership is really there and it's like coming home to a safe place.

Find a humble church where the people do not dress like they are going to a funeral, find a church where the people dress humble and do not dress vain and prettied up, and people who would give you the shirt off their backs if you had nothing, and feed you if you were hungry or give you a home if you were homeless and you will find the real christians.

May you find peace and comfort in the King of Kings.



posted on Mar, 23 2012 @ 08:54 PM
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Originally posted by Akragon
little faith in our species as a whole as well actually

Why? Us humans are an amazing race of sentient beings!!! For every disgusting/ horrendous act you hear about, there are thousands of wonderful, caring acts happening every day that you will never hear of...

Peace.

dej...



posted on Mar, 24 2012 @ 08:03 AM
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Originally posted by semperkill
reply to post by Deetermined
 

This is way beyond the one incident. I just cant wrap my mind around the god concept anymore. If there is a god why does he allow babies to suffer. In my time in iraq i saw children suffering for no apparent reason. I came across young girls buried up their their elbows stoned to death in his name. Why didnt god or allah or budhha intervene?
There is no reason for the suffering that i have seen.
I am having a hard time beleieving. i have tried.
I have prayed
I have yelled at the heavens and have not recieved an answer.
I fear i have wasted my time.
If there is a god he doesnt care for everyone he doesnt love everyone
Just specific people?
Do you truly believe this. I dont buy it.
A just god wouldnt allow what is happening.
You say free will? Then you say everything every move is planned and destined?
He sees everything. I could stand by and see a child suffer. But the all knowing all seeing god does? and allows it?
Its all crap full of corn!



I'm not going to lie, Semperkill, these are tough questions and and I had to pray and think over them myself.

I hope no one takes this offensively, but it is my belief that when God allows the life of a child to be taken early, it's to actually spare them. We do not know what these children's futures could have held that might have been worse. Iraq is a hotbed of sectarian violence. Maybe taking these children's lives were their only escape to eternal life with God in what might otherwise have turned into someone like that which are killing them. You can only hope that the greater purpose might also be for the parents and others around them to express outrage in helping to change their society for the actual greater of God and not the opposite. I know it's hard to watch and understand, but please have faith that these children are now in a glorious place with a protector that will never allow anyone to harm them ever again. This may have been their only means of escape.

I still believe you'll find your answers through prayer (not yelling at Heaven). Go to the Lord humbly, not in anger. Although, I can imagine how impossible that may seem to you right now. (You might want to pray for the Lord to resolve you of that anger over time as well) I can only imagine too how much life for you has changed due to all that you have witnessed as a Marine. I find it shameful that this world has gotten to a point where someone would even consider spitting on you for your service to this country. Some of us are very thankful and we can thank God that we haven't had to walk in your shoes. I am increasing concerned about the well being of our servicemen when they return. The statistics that we're reading on depression and suicide are horrendous.

I feel that you need someone you can talk to face-to-face. Others who have experienced what you have in order to help get you past this "unfulfilling" stage. If there is a support group for servicemen in your area, I highly recommend that you join one. I'm not sure you'll get past this until you do. If there is not a support group, I suggest you start one. Even if it means going to your local paper to have a story written about your experiences and asking to start such a support group. It is my opinion that you will start to feel fulfillment when you share your experiences with others like you. Maybe the fulfillment will come when you realize that you're helping others, while you think they're helping you.



posted on Mar, 24 2012 @ 08:22 AM
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Another thing to understand here.

God (in terms of some singular, centralised entity) doesn't kill babies. Sometimes we do it ourselves. Sometimes said babies get sick, and their immune systems become overwhelmed.

Part of the definition of intelligent theism, is realising that while yes, even though God can be involved, that doesn't mean that we don't have sovereignty and responsibility ourselves; quite the opposite. So viewing yourself purely as a victim is both inaccurate and unproductive.



posted on Mar, 25 2012 @ 09:43 AM
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reply to post by petrus4
 


I am not and do not view myself as a victim. My sorrow comes from the fact that I do not know what to believe. people say pray. But to what. I have prayed and gone to church where i have been preyed upon. There is no answer. Moniter please closed this thread.



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