Maybe you should think about why you like the person? Is it the appearance or something else?
Really Liking Someone?, page 1
reply posted on 21-3-2012 @ 04:35 PM by UfoRevealer
reply to post by EvilSadamClone
If i'm honest, then yes, once..
Last june, it was wierd really, we met whilst camping, our group bumped into theirs, and we just got talking and drinking, before long we exchanged numbers, she was texting me alot but i didnt want to come on too strong because she had a boyfriend, before long she was fed up with her boyfriend, he was treating her like crap, so she asked me to cheer her up, i did, by sending an extremely cheesy text, hahaa!
Before long we were meeting up alot to talk, discuss how things were going, she fell for me i think, then a couple weeks later, we went camping together, i had no idea we would be alone, we spent the night cuddling in the rain really, it was wierd for me, but i started liking her back, i don't even know why, we just clicked i think it's just because she liked me for me
We continued to meet up for a few months after that, she got rid of her boyfriend, spending one too many nights in the local park with him, and him treating her like crap was too much for her, then her friends got involved and well, things just drifted apart from there, i never saw eye to eye with her friends, she hated them at times too, they used to try steal all her boyfriends but she was and still is an incredibly beautiful young woman, but meh.. fate's fate!
What's your story?
If i'm honest, then yes, once..
Last june, it was wierd really, we met whilst camping, our group bumped into theirs, and we just got talking and drinking, before long we exchanged numbers, she was texting me alot but i didnt want to come on too strong because she had a boyfriend, before long she was fed up with her boyfriend, he was treating her like crap, so she asked me to cheer her up, i did, by sending an extremely cheesy text, hahaa!
Before long we were meeting up alot to talk, discuss how things were going, she fell for me i think, then a couple weeks later, we went camping together, i had no idea we would be alone, we spent the night cuddling in the rain really, it was wierd for me, but i started liking her back, i don't even know why, we just clicked i think it's just because she liked me for me
We continued to meet up for a few months after that, she got rid of her boyfriend, spending one too many nights in the local park with him, and him treating her like crap was too much for her, then her friends got involved and well, things just drifted apart from there, i never saw eye to eye with her friends, she hated them at times too, they used to try steal all her boyfriends but she was and still is an incredibly beautiful young woman, but meh.. fate's fate!
What's your story?
reply posted on 21-3-2012 @ 05:06 PM by FissionSurplus
reply to post by Lapislazuli
You have to give yourself time to grieve, my friend. A breakup is just like a death, only kind of worse, because the other person is alive and off with a new partner or a new life, and you are left behind to bury the remains and live with the memories.
As is the case with all breakups, the one who does the breaking up has already gone through all the emotional work and issues by the time they exit the situation. The one who is broken up with is left in shock and rejection, and they have to do all the emotional work and grieving from scratch. It is the nature of people that they don't leave a relationship until there is some greener grass on the other side of the fence, which, to me, is some of the lowest, most selfish behavior people can exhibit.
Nevertheless, two months isn't long enough for you to be over a relationship that lasted 5 years. Your trust has been violated. I wouldn't rush into another relationship (unless it's just a booty call and you both agree that that's all it is). Take time to grieve over it, and be kind to yourself.
Your light may seem like it's out, but that is just because you have been burned, and it takes a while to get over it. If every one of us who has been burned (and I have been burned, badly, as have many others) just gave up, there would be very few of us left standing. A broken heart sucks, and takes a while to heal.
But heal it will, and you will look back on this time eventually as a time of growth.
You have to give yourself time to grieve, my friend. A breakup is just like a death, only kind of worse, because the other person is alive and off with a new partner or a new life, and you are left behind to bury the remains and live with the memories.
As is the case with all breakups, the one who does the breaking up has already gone through all the emotional work and issues by the time they exit the situation. The one who is broken up with is left in shock and rejection, and they have to do all the emotional work and grieving from scratch. It is the nature of people that they don't leave a relationship until there is some greener grass on the other side of the fence, which, to me, is some of the lowest, most selfish behavior people can exhibit.
Nevertheless, two months isn't long enough for you to be over a relationship that lasted 5 years. Your trust has been violated. I wouldn't rush into another relationship (unless it's just a booty call and you both agree that that's all it is). Take time to grieve over it, and be kind to yourself.
Your light may seem like it's out, but that is just because you have been burned, and it takes a while to get over it. If every one of us who has been burned (and I have been burned, badly, as have many others) just gave up, there would be very few of us left standing. A broken heart sucks, and takes a while to heal.
But heal it will, and you will look back on this time eventually as a time of growth.
edit on 21-3-2012 by FissionSurplus because: (no reason
given)
reply posted on 21-3-2012 @ 05:12 PM by Lapislazuli
reply to post by FissionSurplus
It just hurts way more than I thought it would and after a couple months it isn't much easier. It's like everywhere I go I'm walking through molasses and Time just moves slower.... :'( I really miss her and I know I should move on and be good to myself but I have a hard time remembering that. I feel sick over this pretty often and the worst part is that someone so close to me can say things like, "I tried to fix you."
Makes me feel broke.
It just hurts way more than I thought it would and after a couple months it isn't much easier. It's like everywhere I go I'm walking through molasses and Time just moves slower.... :'( I really miss her and I know I should move on and be good to myself but I have a hard time remembering that. I feel sick over this pretty often and the worst part is that someone so close to me can say things like, "I tried to fix you."
Makes me feel broke.
reply posted on 21-3-2012 @ 05:13 PM by FissionSurplus
reply to post by EvilSadamClone
Not too many of us have experience with crushes when we are celibate. I suppose you could just be her friend, or admire her from afar.....Not much else you can do, considering your lifestyle choice!
Not too many of us have experience with crushes when we are celibate. I suppose you could just be her friend, or admire her from afar.....Not much else you can do, considering your lifestyle choice!
reply posted on 21-3-2012 @ 05:16 PM by EvilSadamClone
reply to post by FissionSurplus
As I said, I am not asking for advice or for people telling me what to do, so please, don't.
As I said, I am not asking for advice or for people telling me what to do, so please, don't.
reply posted on 21-3-2012 @ 05:22 PM by Destinyone
Originally posted by EvilSadamClone
reply to post by FissionSurplus
As I said, I am not asking for advice or for people telling me what to do, so please, don't.
Well...what did you expect when you started a thread with this title....
Don't get hissy because people are posting helpful insightful information.
Des
reply posted on 21-3-2012 @ 05:23 PM by FissionSurplus
reply to post by Lapislazuli
If she claims she tried to "fix you", then she never appreciated you for who you really are. You're not broken. In fact, you sound quite normal. Your ex, on the other hand, sounds like she has delusions of somebody perfect, and she will try to "fix" anybody that she is with. That is not love, that is ownership. I'll bet she does that to the next boyfriend she's with.
If a woman cannot accept you for who you are, then she is not worth keeping. You let this woman mess with your head and she had you believing that you are somehow not good enough. These types of people are toxic.
What is it about her that you miss? You say she was your best friend......A best friend accepts you just as you are, encourages you along the way, and doesn't nit-pick you to death. Do you miss her company, or are you just lonely because you aren't used to being single? Not trying to give you a hard time, just trying to get at the root of it.
If she claims she tried to "fix you", then she never appreciated you for who you really are. You're not broken. In fact, you sound quite normal. Your ex, on the other hand, sounds like she has delusions of somebody perfect, and she will try to "fix" anybody that she is with. That is not love, that is ownership. I'll bet she does that to the next boyfriend she's with.
If a woman cannot accept you for who you are, then she is not worth keeping. You let this woman mess with your head and she had you believing that you are somehow not good enough. These types of people are toxic.
What is it about her that you miss? You say she was your best friend......A best friend accepts you just as you are, encourages you along the way, and doesn't nit-pick you to death. Do you miss her company, or are you just lonely because you aren't used to being single? Not trying to give you a hard time, just trying to get at the root of it.
reply posted on 21-3-2012 @ 05:31 PM by FissionSurplus
reply to post by EvilSadamClone
Well then, what is the point of your thread??? That you are a celibate guy crushing on a stranger?? Your thread is confusing and pointless, and then you get nasty. If you have a point, then make it. If you want to know how many people on this thread claim to be celibate but have a crush on a stranger, I can answer that for you: ONLY YOU.
Congratulate yourself on posting pointless drivel and then being mean when people post what they think. Way to go. There is a word for people like you that I cannot post due to T&C regulations.
Makes me think that you are not celibate by choice.
Well then, what is the point of your thread??? That you are a celibate guy crushing on a stranger?? Your thread is confusing and pointless, and then you get nasty. If you have a point, then make it. If you want to know how many people on this thread claim to be celibate but have a crush on a stranger, I can answer that for you: ONLY YOU.
Congratulate yourself on posting pointless drivel and then being mean when people post what they think. Way to go. There is a word for people like you that I cannot post due to T&C regulations.
Makes me think that you are not celibate by choice.
reply posted on 21-3-2012 @ 05:33 PM by Lapislazuli
reply to post by FissionSurplus
Well I miss some things, and some I don't.
I miss being comfortable with a person and feeling like no matter what happens in the world you can just talk to them. I miss being totally content just watching T.V. with her. I miss having someone to embrace. I miss having someone to Love.
I don't miss her anger. I don't miss trying to "fix" myself for her. I don't miss her lack of responsibility and direction (we are in college). I don't miss her dismissive attitude toward me after we broke up.
I don't want to Love her. But I still do. I just don;t want to be stuck like this.
Well I miss some things, and some I don't.
I miss being comfortable with a person and feeling like no matter what happens in the world you can just talk to them. I miss being totally content just watching T.V. with her. I miss having someone to embrace. I miss having someone to Love.
I don't miss her anger. I don't miss trying to "fix" myself for her. I don't miss her lack of responsibility and direction (we are in college). I don't miss her dismissive attitude toward me after we broke up.
I don't want to Love her. But I still do. I just don;t want to be stuck like this.
reply posted on 22-3-2012 @ 12:06 AM by TDawgRex
reply to post by Lapislazuli
"The best revenge is a life well lived."
Been there done that and while it hurt at the time, (I caught her and left her), I can say that she has taught me valuable lessons as well, for which I thank her. I cut coupons nowadays.
Her family tried to hook us back up for four years, but even though I still loved her, and still do to a extent, I will always remember the betrayal. I can forgive, but the memory is still there nonetheless.
She tried to "Fix me" as well. The thing is, I was happy being me. Nothing needed to be fixed...except her perception maybe.
Ten years later I'm happily retired and I don't have to give her anything. It's your life, not hers. Live it.
"The best revenge is a life well lived."
Been there done that and while it hurt at the time, (I caught her and left her), I can say that she has taught me valuable lessons as well, for which I thank her. I cut coupons nowadays.
Her family tried to hook us back up for four years, but even though I still loved her, and still do to a extent, I will always remember the betrayal. I can forgive, but the memory is still there nonetheless.
She tried to "Fix me" as well. The thing is, I was happy being me. Nothing needed to be fixed...except her perception maybe.
Ten years later I'm happily retired and I don't have to give her anything. It's your life, not hers. Live it.
edit on 22-3-2012 by TDawgRex
because: (no reason given)
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