watching loved ones die.

reply to post by RobinB022


Good for you...............she was lucky to have you in her life.

Your short and sweet reply really lent a lot to this thread.

Originally posted by rubbertramp

Originally posted by zbeliever
The responsibility should not be on you....You can walk away and not hold his hand when he leaves this earth and everyone will understand....Go home take a nice bath go to bed and hope for the phone call...I'm a nurse and the death bed scene is not for eveyone...

interesting concept, but it just ain't gunna' happen.
he was always there for me and this is the absolute least that i can do.
sorry if you took this post as a complaint more than just the rant that i meant it to be.

I've been exactly where you are now

I lived in my Dad's hospital room - for quite some time. I didn't want him to die alone - I was actually stressed out every time I left to use the bathroom. The nurses would let me stay past visiting hours - but at a certain point they would make me go home

He died while I was at home. Several of the nurses said it happens like that more often than not - as if they wait to be alone

Whether that's true or not - it doesn't matter - it will happen when it happens. But the thing is - you have to do what feels right for you - even if it makes no sense to anyone else. Staying made sense to me - even though it happened the way it did. I'd do it over again - just the same

too slowly if you ask me. he's not been himself, for instance he's using curse words that have never left his mouth in his 79 years. he's blaming me for everything etc......... yes, i understand that he means none of it, but it's a tough thing to watch. he's on morphine, which seems to help, but this has dragged on for days, and will probably continue for qute some time.

Yes - loved ones take it out the most on those closest to them - it's natural. Don't take it to heart - not now, or later

my heart goes out to you -

reply to post by ofhumandescent


I'll have to look at those books, thanks for the info.

socialized meds ARE a danger to the world. NOWHERE has it really worked, and whats in those pills?

But as I said earlier who would pick who lives or dies? scary thoughts.

But I still stand by my statement; despite heartache, filth clean up, and the aweful things my dad said while in pain. I would do it again if I had to, a hundred fold, because it would mean another day with my best friend and role model, my dad.

my heartfelt thank you to all who shared stories and wished me well.
i surely didn't think i'd return to 6 pages of comment.
reading through this has somehow put my mind at ease, just knowing so many have experienced similar passings.
i am thankful for 2 things today, which i'd like to share.
both sisters have made it down to be with him, and he has basically moved into an unconscience state, which i think he did for my sisters. happened about 20 minutes before they walked in the door.
i'm very thankful they didn't have to see him in his state of rudeness.
i think the time is nearing and hopefully it will not be long now.

been playing music and talking to him more than i was before, thanx for the suggestions.

that was interesting.
my navajo friend who met my dad a few times called.
he knew something was wrong, i explained, and he drove here to do a ceremony for my father.
i already forget the name, something like the 'blessing way' maybe.
anyhow. after he was done he said it shouldn't be long now, said my dad was waiting for my mom to come and give him directions on where to go.
n his way out the door, a guy walks up and asked if he'd please pray for his wife in the room nextdoor.
he's still here, praying over the 5th or 6th person.
i asked if it was a bit much and his answer was that it is nothing but complimentary.
i love my friends.

That was kind of your navajo friend to pray for your Dad and others.
I am still here reading your thread and praying for a peaceful passage for your Father.

I lost my Dad 4 or 5 years ago. Time passes so quickly. My Mom is 88 and I know my time with her is limited. Luckily she is still able to live on her own and lives in the apartmet below mine. I help her with housework and keep her company.

thanx for the prayers, night star.
his breathing seems to be getting more erratic, so i hope it's getting near, but it's tough to say.
one doc thinks soon, another thinks it'll still be a while cause his extremities are still warm.
sorry bout' your dad, and i hope your mom stays strong for years to come.

reply to post by rubbertramp


Thanks hun I appreciate that.

reply to post by Night Star


as i your participation in this thread.
it's crazy how comments on a message board loaded with humans i do not know has actually brought a bit of peace and tranquility to my otherwise rattled nerves.

reply to post by rubbertramp


Again, the fact that you are there is wonderful. Below is my favorite passage from the Bible. When all is said and done there is only one thing that remains.

Corinthians 13

1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Originally posted by Danbones
reply to post by rubbertramp

 

been there done that RT
hang in there

I had a boss (not the loved ones I refered to above)
he had his leg cut off diamond drilling in the arctic and had his skull split open and his eyeballs knocked out when a dump truck gate fell on his head in the scrap yard

he was CLINICALLY dead seventeen times
he said:
"It isn't going that hurts...Its coming back that hurts"

he was a huge seller of bootleg booze and cigarettes and he went to church on sundays to make his wife feel good...and spoiled his grand children as best he could....

they do go to a better place,,,,


Not to offend anyone...but eyeballs cannot pop out of one's head as they are attached to the brain by the optic nerves,,,there's also the various muscles that allow the eye to move, etc....now bilateral retinal detachments.....THAT is more likely....by the way...I have worked in ophthalmology for 22 years...so I kinda know about eyes......

that aside......SEVENTEEN TIMES? Daaaaang......

and as for the subject of this post....I have been a LONG time advocate of assisted suicide...it seems more compassionate than allowing a fellow human to suffer.....ME? I just have access to too much "street" drugs.....a handful of MDMA or special K or something like that would do the trick....heck....a couple bottles of vodka could do it too......wait....are there rules about mentioning drugs? If so...I apologize....my mention of them is in complete context of my post...

Peace, Ya'll

Originally posted by rubbertramp
reply to post by Night Star

 

as i your participation in this thread.
it's crazy how comments on a message board loaded with humans i do not know has actually brought a bit of peace and tranquility to my otherwise rattled nerves.

I felt the same way when people stood by my side when I had cancer. We have a great ATS family here.