Tips for nice guys from a girl

I noticed the thread on the front page (link), and I just had to throw my 2-cents in from the female perspective. I have several friends that are nice guys. These are some of the mistakes I've seen:

1. Nice guys seem to think that "nice" means needy and clingy. No. Nice means you have some basic manners and think of me as a person you would like to see naked rather than a piece of meat with clothes on.

2. Nice guys seem to always move way too fast. You shouldn't be having deep, soulful conversations and talking about soul-mates on date 3. Even if the connection is there, waiting a little while to give it voice makes sense.

3. Nice guys actually take girls literally when they talk about wanting Prince Charming. Prince Charming is kind of a creeper if you think about it.

4. Nice guys tend to act like they believe those old stereotypes about girls wanting relationships and never just being out for fun. This is a mistake.

5. Nice guys will almost invariably make a B-line for the biggest ho and/or psycho in the room. If you find yourself irresistibly drawn to a girl, proceed with caution.

reply to post by AnIntellectualRedneck


I actually consciously used all 5 of those to meet my girlfriend of over 2 years now. I could have used this thread like 10 years ago haha. I am The Nice Guy of nice guys.

What made me finally overcome those fatal flaws, was that I became laid back and cool, comfortable with myself.

I didn't push any issues with her. Met at a party at her house. "ended up" on the same beer pong team(sneaky me haha). then it was some night from then on, woke up in her house the next day and knew i wanted to date her.

However, I didn't let her know that till she was infatuated with me, and then it was child's play. And now I am one happy mofo.


Live and Learn haha.

As a guy who's been after girls for 15 of my 25 years I must agree with every point you've made here.

Girls don't want you to write poems, follow them around and propose after a few weeks of dating.

That doesn't mean they want a total jackass either though. Girls want confidence, kindness, they want you to recognize their emotions but don't be too emotional. Don't ignore them, but don't make all your decisions based on them either. Be reasonable and strong

Also, multiple orgasms never hurts

I think you hit it, right on the nail.

Now, if only I can find that guy.

Maybe I won't be such a Manhater.

Originally posted by Hawking


Also, multiple orgasms never hurts

well sometimes...

haha, well no I can't say it on here I don't think..

girls with small feet?? what?

reply to post by AnIntellectualRedneck


Im a Nice enough Guy. Thanks for the tips but I guess they dont apply to me because I found my love 4 years ago. She is my high school sweetheart I would do anything for her always & forever. I was actually reading this hopin 4 some advice on how to help her deal with all her fam problems its so messed up her dad doesnt even know about us being together ive found that really hard to believe since its been 4 years!! Lol

Never had a problem with getting the girl i want. Ive mastered being a nice guy lol. (plus im a stunner...and modest lol)

I suppose at 32 years old i should have done really lol.

Ive never been a weirdo stalker type Even when i was younger id play it cool, and reel them in from afar lol.

I learnt a long time ago what women want. Im from Essex....i think its bred into us lol.

Nowadays im a little less subtle, though at the moment ive decided to stay single Pretty much 2/3 of my life has been occupied by women. Its nice to have a break

I have this feeling that SHTF will happen sometime either this year or in the next couple of years so i think i am gonna wait but we'll see what happens , i must admit there are some fine ladies on ATS which i really admire i didn't even think there were any here .

Originally posted by Hawking
As a guy who's been after girls for 15 of my 25 years I must agree with every point you've made here.

Girls don't want you to write poems, follow them around and propose after a few weeks of dating.

That doesn't mean they want a total jackass either though. Girls want confidence, kindness, they want you to recognize their emotions but don't be too emotional. Don't ignore them, but don't make all your decisions based on them either. Be reasonable and strong

Also, multiple orgasms never hurts

Girls don't want you to write poems??? Why not? I was always touched deeply when a boyfriend would write a poem.

I'm a nice guy yet no girls seem to want me. Does it seem like I'm destined to be single?

Originally posted by AnIntellectualRedneck
I noticed the thread on the front page (link), and I just had to throw my 2-cents in from the female perspective. I have several friends that are nice guys. These are some of the mistakes I've seen:

1. Nice guys seem to think that "nice" means needy and clingy. No. Nice means you have some basic manners and think of me as a person you would like to see naked rather than a piece of meat with clothes on.

2. Nice guys seem to always move way too fast. You shouldn't be having deep, soulful conversations and talking about soul-mates on date 3. Even if the connection is there, waiting a little while to give it voice makes sense.

3. Nice guys actually take girls literally when they talk about wanting Prince Charming. Prince Charming is kind of a creeper if you think about it.

4. Nice guys tend to act like they believe those old stereotypes about girls wanting relationships and never just being out for fun. This is a mistake.

5. Nice guys will almost invariably make a B-line for the biggest ho and/or psycho in the room. If you find yourself irresistibly drawn to a girl, proceed with caution.

I am jumping up in joy and clapping my hands that I am example of a nice guy and I never act like any of the things you are talking about, lol.

# 4 - that is the problem with girls these days - they do not want an old fashioned relationship, they want to go out and have fun with his money ha ha ha.

The phrase 'nice guy' has been a complete stereotype in the millennium. Maybe this is because girls changed to acting disloyal in the 80s, maybe it's because guys started acting disloyal around the same time. Without even considering the jerks in the world the phrase has grown in a way to categorize every male into two different ways. In the perception of girls meaning has changed and now nice equates to only one thing - a BAD thing. The meaning of stereotypical is that you are seeing terms generally but the world is not general, it is unique.

The definition of a 'nice guy' is not what people think it is.

NG - A man that does not judge, never has a negative thought, is able to let go, and shows respect to all people until they give him a reason not to.

As someone who just lost the love of his life due to most of these reasons, I approve this message.

Rule of thumb. Be yourself. This does not mean you have to be offensive or violent or abusive. It only means not to pretend something that you are not. If someone likes you the way you are then its meant to be. Trying is the only thing both sexes should do and let the destiny take its course It has worked for me and I'm happily married with 2 kids. No complaints, No regrets

It's all lies! She's a female-bot deployed to ATS to confuse us men even more!

Originally posted by AnIntellectualRedneck

1. Nice guys seem to think that "nice" means needy and clingy. No. Nice means you have some basic manners and think of me as a person you would like to see naked rather than a piece of meat with clothes on.

2. Nice guys seem to always move way too fast. You shouldn't be having deep, soulful conversations and talking about soul-mates on date 3. Even if the connection is there, waiting a little while to give it voice makes sense.

3. Nice guys actually take girls literally when they talk about wanting Prince Charming. Prince Charming is kind of a creeper if you think about it.

4. Nice guys tend to act like they believe those old stereotypes about girls wanting relationships and never just being out for fun. This is a mistake.

5. Nice guys will almost invariably make a B-line for the biggest ho and/or psycho in the room. If you find yourself irresistibly drawn to a girl, proceed with caution.

As a nice guy, let me take this point by point.

1) So you don't mind if a nice guy see's you naked? Man, you ARE nice. .......... Now I REALLY wish I had Skype LOL ......Seriously though, I'm not clingy. My attitude is that I can take it or leave it. I'd much rather have love than not, so I guess that "take it or leave it" attitude might be some kind of defense mechanism in the odd chance that I get turned down. I don't handle the word "no" too well simply because I'm not used to it.

2) That does make sense. However, as a nice guy, I try to see things from HER perspective as well. If I feel she's the type who WANTS to get deep right away, I can go that route. If she wants to keep things light and breezy for awhile, that's fine too. I'm a man of all seasons.....I can weather it all.

3) While that sounds more like a personal opinion than a rule of thumb, here's my opinion. GULLIBLE guys take girls seriously when they talk about stuff like that. Personally, I haven't encountered something like that in a very long time simply because of my age and the age of the people I associate with. That Prince Charming thing is a phase that all girls go through and then move on from it.

4) That is a mistake.......generally. Not all nice girls want to go "out" and have a good time. It all depends on what a womans definition of a good time is. If she likes to stay home and play Scrabble, study Wicca, or go out skydiving, I don't think it matters if she's a nice girl or not. I knew a "bad" girl once where all she wanted to do was stay home and "dance". That was her idea of a good time. Tiring.....but good. As a nice guy I always played that one by ear after I realized that you can't pigeonhole a girl that like that.

5) That one I have to disagree with dear. I didn't so much make a B-line for them as I used them as a last resort. Some of us guys were never good at "playing the game." I tried, but I never got it down. And the bad girls? Most don't care, at least they acted that way, that they're the last resort or not. When the party winds down, everyone wants to be with someone. I'm a one woman type of guy who just kept making the wrong choices. That's not to say that all those women were bad, they weren't. Just not right for me for the long run.

What I'm talking about here happened many years ago, but from what I can see of people these days, not much has changed in this regard. If I learned anything thing after all these years is that you need to listen to them, respond to them on their level, especially the sensitive ones, treat them with respect until they give you a reason not to, and play it by ear as to how fast THEY want you to move. This comes with experience in reading body language though.

I'm at the point now where if I do work to get a woman, that's exactly what she'll be. A woman. And I'll have this gut feeling that she's the one who will complete me. The yin to my yang if you will that will help me strengthen my weak points the same way that I can strengthen hers. That's what nice people do.

It's always good to hear a womans point of view about this sort of thing because I've met a lot of women who expect men to read their minds.

I can read emotions not minds, and you women are hard enough to understand without having to practice majic to get to.

I'm 24 and been single for 7 years and I can be myself it's great! No added stress, always smilely and laughing at work all the time, waking up to see a nice sunny day. All my co workers are like, how come you get so smiley all the time? It's because I'm in my dream world, thinking about stuff that makes me happy. Yeah having sex is great experience. But it does loses it's fun after a long while

Most women don't know what they want. They could go for someone who goes by the list above one week, and throw them away the next. 'You are too clingy' or some other bs. Clingy can mean so many different things. And then they'll go for an @$$hole next week and drop him after a week or so because he is 'too mean, rude or acts like he doesn't care'. Most girls stick with the second type, and if they don't then they are generally batsh!t crazy.

Originally posted by Night Star
Girls don't want you to write poems??? Why not? I was always touched deeply when a boyfriend would write a poem.

Thanks for being the other voice. People are people and the deeper ones attract other deep ones. Some people are actually looking for something meaningful.

No offense to the OP as some of those points are pretty valid but I hardly think she is speaking for all of woman-kind. If I made a list of what guys like, I'm sure many out there would disagree.

reply to post by AnIntellectualRedneck


That's fine and all, but how does one deal with the following scenario?

Guy: Ok, talks to girl, is nice, sees obvious connection, Tells girl he's likes her, but only seeks friendship
Girl: Guys only sees girls as a piece of meat
Guy: Repeats his sentence and adds that he values the friendship
Girl: You are too clingy and needy, *tells friends that guy is obsessive*

**guy backs away and gives space**

Girl: Where are you? Why aren't you online? Did you block me?


/facepalm


Either one is obsessive or one is not a friend for not being online.

I gave up trying to make sense and just said **snip** it.

reply to post by starwarsisreal


I was the same way... Until I found a book by david deanglo

Every guy should read it.. and follow his steps... I did and my dating went through the roof.

I landed a 10 who loves me and we have a great time all the time... thanks to the steps I learned

Girls don't like wussys

Learn what wussy behavior is and bitch slap your inner wuss

Learn a mixture of cocky vs funny