My worst fear has came true, unfortunately.

WOW! I haven't read the other threads but my gut is telling me there are a number of issues with this "child".

It sounds as if she rules the roost and has zero discipline. Ha! I would dare my kids to not eat my food and demand fast food.

It also sounds like she is allowed to talk baby talk at 16!!! Why?

What happens when she is at home and goes into a rage? Any discipline?

I have a nephew who is Autistic and a friends kid who comes around a lot has aspergers.... definitely does not sound like your sister though....

Sounds as if she is spoiled rotten and needs her a$$ whipped, other wise maybe she does have some bi-polar/mental issues.

Children have to be taught early on what is expected of them...they even need to be taught how to effectively use their words when they begin their temper tantrum's.

I feel for ya op.... at 16 you can't really mold her anymore... time is up and it's going to be left up to a hospital to teach her right from wrong either by force and or meds.

reply to post by LetsBringIt


It hasn't been 30 days yet. And it's not the 1st. Still waiting for March too move along.

reply to post by JustSlowlyBackAway


Yeah, she's the type who would rather starve. And she will take everything out of the fridge, throw or dump everything on the floor and claim, "This is not food". Really what she is saying, is that this not "Mc Donalds" AKA nuggets and fries.

It's either Fries #1, Nuggets #2, or Pizza #3

reply to post by Manhater


At it again manhater, like I said you got problems. With this teenage/child that is.

But I know you do like the drama a little, plus you must of been really bored and to much time alone before this mess moved in with you to actually go trough it all, and still not have called the cops, fire department or put out a hit on them. Really you might yourself be a little crazy to go along with this whole thing.

You know at 16 this child is already pretty much grown, and if her childhood was messed up and she did not learn to function in a quote on quote normal setting. Then it ain't going to happen over night, or over a couple thousand nights. But its good that you are starting to put your foot down, I would of broken my foot on her and her mothers ass by now as well, but hey you got to start somewhere. Next you should start acting more mean and scary, I know she is bigger then you, and could probably pick you up and slam you....But hey, its all in the mind Manhater, make this kid and her mother know who's boss, and make them fear your dark side. And while your at it slowly put them up to some work doing things around the house or whatever, mostly to keep them busy.

Trust me Manhater the more busy they are with there own life's, or preoccupied with constructive things that they are, the less headaches you will have, and the more happier you will be because of it.

But Its obvious this teenage/child does not know how to function among people, and the time when that is most imparted has passed. So when it changes now it will bring along with it all the fun and biological changes that her biological current age will bring, as well as the psychs and other fancy names that the ones in white coats like to make up and label things with. But all of that is just icing on the cake, I think Manhater that you got to ask yourself if your want to go in the long haul. And I think you have already asked yourself this, because the fun with your niece and her mother has just begun.

Fell free to shudder after the dots......


Ok enough with the shuddering, You know I have always been of the believe that fighting and a good beat down can solve everything, and most times it can.

But in this case, if you do it you might want to do it more subtly. You know somewhere down deep your niece is scared #less and knows her situation, in fact she is probably enthralled by her situation, nay she is enslaved by her situation. And like a cornered animal that has nowhere to go she has only the option of kicking and screaming when she thinks she is completely cornered. So you will know what to expect when all she gets placed out of her element that she got used to for pretty much all her life, she has been a child if you take that child and dump her all of a sudden into situations she is not used to...Surprise Surprise, what do you think will likely happen.

Most of these transitions from child to not grown up are supposed to happen slowly and over time years and years, I bet you every single person here has transitioned at that pace to different degrees, and they still get tripped up by the little things that there childhood influenced them in negative ways. It would be no different for your niece, by now you should know her better and see how she acts then she does herself or any of us do.

Manhater, basically she might be a crazy, spoiled rotten, psycho teenage/child, but as time progresses if she is left to her own devices she will end up a crazy, spoiled rotten, psycho woman/child...And as you know, that is even more annoying and troublesome then what and were and what she is at now. Oh and try not to give her to much fast food or MacDonald, they do put chemicals and additives which really should be called addictives in that stuff, you know to keep them costumers coming back.

By now I think her system is so used to it, that it will be a withdrawal when she eats any other food, oh yes she will be craving the Mcdonalds like a junkie. But once again slowly and if you have to just don't buy her that stuff, and if she does not want to eat what you eat...Oh well to bad, she will come around when she is really hungry and knows that your serious. Besides your not made of money and she best learn to eat and take what you give her, and if she wants anything else she can go get a job and buy it. Till then, a small treat now and then wont kill her but don't indulge her to much.

reply to post by MamaJ


Don't bother.She doesn't listen.A few days from now there will be yet another thread about this "child".Posts like yours just encourage her.

Boooooo IDK why you ask for advice if you don't follow a damn word of it from anyone! Sounds like you just want to cry about it instead of actually fix it.

Originally posted by Manhater
reply to post by yourmaker

 

Her mother has problems too. I will say mentally. Probably depression. [she is famous for the malingering and factitious disorders, she makes up a new illness everyday]. Totally annoying, because it's like, now what's wrong with you. She doesn't know when to stop talking. One those people who like to hear themselves and has to explain in detail every little thing.

I mean if she has dealt with this for 16 years, I can't imagine what toll this taken on her.

She is blind right now and doesn't want to see how dangerous her daughter has become. I believe she is scared of her daughter. I know I am, I know my dog is. She knew of this child actions before she came down here, and knew that the child needed in home placement but never did it.So, I'm doing it because this situation is no laughing matter and is escalating into an area where someone is going to get hurt.

Yes, the child is into boys right now. Plus has no friends. So I also believe this a part of it. She's lonely, and that's why she looks to me like I'm her supposed girlfriend.

It's really a sad situation where I hope I can provide the help they need.

Doctor would like me to let them hit rock bottom. But, clearly they need help, or nothing is going to change between either one of them.

edit on 16-3-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)

Your sister joined the board, and saw the things you said about them in the last thread. And now you say this?!
What kind of sister are you?
I'm actually really disgusted with you.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


That's fine. Doesn't hurt my feelings and she has read this.

She does know what I post about her, because I tell her. I am a very blunt person. Thank you.

Her daughter is now in a facility where she belongs. She wouldn't of been had I not gotten involved and had she not have moved out here.

She should have of been in a facility way before then. I tell her mother that everyday. But no, her mother and father both, don't want to see it. It wasn't until this child escalated to violence and threats of death, that they did see it.

Her mother is now seeking the help she needs to get past this.

Having this child beat on her for who knows how long and has put with her, I know I wouldn't.

There is so much torment that this child has passed onto her, that she is used to it. And she's not looking out for herself. She does nothing all day. Sleep [from medication] and play on the computer. That is her life.

It's not happening in my household.

Period.

If it makes me cruel and ruthless, then so be it.

reply to post by Manhater


I'm not saying you're cruel and ruthless, I just think your ways of dealing with this were pretty churlish.
I know I'm not the only one who thinks that the Rant forum is really abused, but I think personal/family issues should be left at the IP address, and not broadcast for everyone to see.
But since it's all over with now, I guess it doesn't matter any more.
I am glad that your niece is safe now.

If our family can't get through to her and I myself can't get through to her.


Then maybe someone else can.


Here, there, somewhere. I don't know.


Yes, it's nice to be able to play on the computer.

But you got to do something.

It's getting quite common for teenage girls to behave like that. I've known a couple. They usually do get better but cause a lot of damage on the road to it. Must be heart-breaking. Doctors should be looking for chemical imbalances, or something. I don't think it's all psychological, more neuro. something isn't working right. It needs to be made into a bigger issue.

I might of missed it somewhere, how old is this child?

Just from the description you gave on your first post it sounds like part of the problem is separation anxiety, ADHD, and ODD. I know you said bi-polar and schizophrenia too as a possibility.

Was this child adopted?
It almost mirrors from the sounds of, my brothers daughter. She was adopted at 2 but by then already had several problems. She used to pull out and eat her hair among other things. It took many years and a LOT of therapy to help her out but now at the age of 13 she is doing very good and we are all proud of her.

It was very rough on my brother and his wife.
Sometimes the only thing that will help is time, and working with the teachers and a therapist who understands children and childhood trauma.

In the long run, she will grow up to be healthy as long as she is treated with kindness and dignity, and is put into some form of therapy to help her realize a few things about how she acts, but often that realization doesn't come until they are a little older, and even then, if things are forced on them, it might not come at all.

A very hard thing to watch and feel powerless about. I feel for you.

Originally posted by wigit
It's getting quite common for teenage girls to behave like that. I've known a couple. They usually do get better but cause a lot of damage on the road to it. Must be heart-breaking. Doctors should be looking for chemical imbalances, or something. I don't think it's all psychological, more neuro. something isn't working right. It needs to be made into a bigger issue.

Child is getting the royal treatment at the hospital, testing her for everything up in Penn. Now that she is being taken care of, her mother needs some fixing. I just want to her to get out of the house.

reply to post by Darkblade71


Her child is 16, and topples her by size. Her mother has been through a lot of abuse because of her. When the child came down here and went to school and had kids that picked on her and bullied her. It was really hard for me to sympathize with her because the torment from when she abused her mother. To me, it was like, now you're finally seeing what your mother goes through everyday with you. But, I still stood up for her. And, I still panicked liked a crazed woman on 911 when she didn't show up when school was over. I love this child, I just don't love her when disrespects her mother. [Like beating on her everyday]. The mental toll, has put my sister into Agoraphobia. She leaves when she has her paycheck. That's it. She does nothing else for the whole month. I understand she pays rent all. But, you have to get out of the house. Doctor appointments do not count, and neither do paychecks. Do something. Find something to do.

" She's also a spoiled princess. She has gotten everything she wanted ever since she was born. She's 16"


I got this from one of your much earlier posts.
Just this one sentence should point out that this is one of the major problems.
ANY kid who has grown up this way, then expected to behave, is going to laugh in your face.
Complaining at this point is like shooting yourself in the foot, then blaming the gun manufacturer.
I'm not trying to be a jerk or unsympathetic, but if she has been so spoiled, what else can you expect.